


Saved by an Angel (Chester Bennington fan fiction)

by ScorpyR



Category: Linkin Park
Genre: A Thousands Suns, Chester Bennington - Freeform, Concerts, Death, Depression, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Grammy Awards, Healing, Healing Sex, Hybrid Theory, Kidnapping, Linkin Park - Freeform, Living Things, Love, MTV Video Music Awards, Manhattan, Meteora, Mike Shinoda - Freeform, Minutes to Midnight, Music, Musicians, NSFW, New York, One More Light, Oral Sex, Portugal - Freeform, Rape, References to Depression, References to Drugs, Rough Sex, Sex, Slow Burn, Suicide Attempt, The Hunting Party, Tour, Violence, Virginity, mtv, xero - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 09:40:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 65,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15603555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScorpyR/pseuds/ScorpyR
Summary: Chester was a mess. His life was worthless and unworthy of happiness. He tried to end it but his friends saved him. And then, they saved him again when they took him to a small village, for meditation and recovery. That's when he saw life for the first time as it is. A rollercoaster of emotions and he just had to seize all of it. The reason? He met the love of his life. A normal and simple young woman, ready to give in to his love and to accept his dark past. That's what he needed and that's what he wanted.****This is a slow love story, with hard mature language and content. Consider yourself warned.I was looking for fan fiction about Chester, but I could only find M/M. I wanted something new. Hope you enjoy this story. And leave kudos and comments if you do. And I can even write the story with your suggestions. :)XOXO





	1. Chapter 1

Chester's vision was blurred and his body began to feel weightless. Suddenly all the problems that had culminated in his death vanished, giving way to inner peace and tranquility. But that peace was disturbed when his brain forced him to see images of everything he'd left behind: Mike, Joe, Brad, Rob, David, Chris ... 

The tightness in his chest increased and it disguised the pain coming from his wrists ripped by the blade that was now laying bloody on the ground. And suddenly, regret fell upon him. -  _He was never alone._  - He had friends, family, and legions of fans who loved him above anything else. He could have asked for help. But it was too late. As always, he managed to  _fuck_  everything up.

"Chester? CHESTER ...." He heard a familiar voice that screamed in panic by his side. "FUCK... I'm going to ask for help. Stay with me, man."

It was the voice of Mike Shinoda, a longtime friend, and bandmate. They were inseparable, but he didn't know how dark-headed his friend was until that moment. Mike left the house that the band had bought so he could go visit his family. They had just finished a concert of their world tour and had an extended weekend break. The band members went to their families, but Chester was alone. He didn't have a home he considered his own. There was no one to find comfort during the dark hours. 

And he felt alone. 

Again.

And again his brain made sure of reminding him of his horrible childhood. Of his addiction to drugs and alcohol. He felt impure. He felt unworthy to live. And so, he decided to cut off his wrists and let death seize him.

Every time he looked at his friends he saw nothing else than love. They loved him more than anything. He could see their friendship was pure. But he envied them. 

 _Oh, how he envied them so much._  

They had something he wanted so badly, but couldn't find anywhere - someone to spend the rest of his life with. A woman to hold him tight at night and tell him that she was there for him until the end.

Chester tried to find that person. He really did. But they all ended up to tear his heart in half and walk all over him.

At last, he closed his eyes and let fate take its course. He hoped the pain would end and prayed for everything to be okay. He didn't know what his journey would be, nor if he was going to die or if Mike had arrived just in time to save him - Only God would know.

His enigmas were answered as he gradually began to open his eyes, struggling with the intense and warm light that came through the bedroom window. His eyes took some time to adjust the brightness, but he quickly realized that he had company in his room and that he was alive, - in a hospital bed. 

The figure by his side stood up and left Chester alone, calling for nurses who quickly filled the room.

Someone raised his eyelids to check the reaction of his pupils and called for him blandly.

"Mr. Chester, can you hear me?"

He tried to answer but no sound came out of his mouth. His tongue was dry, his throat hurt as he tried to speak up again. His body only allowed him to say something that resembled a whisper:

"Yes."

"You had an incident. Remember what happened?" A kind man's' voice was speaking to him. It was a doctor as Chester examined his white gown and his bothered gaze.

"Yes."

"You must have an angel watching out for you. Your friend Mike arrived just in time, a little more and we wouldn't be able to save you."

When Chester's' vision cleared, he noticed a concerned Mike watching him at the bottom of the bed.

"Hey, man, you scared the shit out of me."

"I... I'm sorry..." He tried to talk but he started coughing. His body hurt like hell, sore and still asleep.

"Everything's alright now... You're gonna be fine... Chester... You're not alone. I will do everything I can for you. You have already done the same for me. Let me help you..."

Chester just nodded and felt tears stream down his face. He knew it was going to be a hard path to recovery but he trusted Mike more than anything.

He thought about what happened and somehow his heart and his mind were peaceful. Nothing compared to the dark muzzle he was trying to decipher when he cut his wrists. Maybe it was the medication he was on, but he felt buoyant. Chester felt guilty for what he had done, but still, coiled deep inside him was the need to have someone by his side, to share his inner demons and to bring light to his life.

The following days in the hospital were destined for his physical recovery, after knowing that he was in a coma for weeks and that the doctors resorted to several blood transfusions. But the last few days were occupied by the meetings to decide a way for Chester to recover psychologically. 

Psychiatrists and psychologists wanted to put him on medication, but his friends and Chester himself didn't want any of it. - He had a long history with antidepressants, and they just didn't work. However, they all agreed that the tour environment was not the best to help him at that moment. So, they decided to take a break, much to their fans' sadness, and they could finally focus on solo projects.

After hours, days, and weeks of conversations, they made a final decision of how to help Chester and put their idea into practice.

The day of Chester's discharge from the hospital has arrived. He was only medicated for possible pain or inflammations, some iron to replace the blood he lost and some antidepressants that would be at his discretion if he wanted to take them or not.

Chester was in a van with the rest of the band, heading for the airport. 

Mike had suggested kind of spiritual retreat, in a village in the middle of nature, with places where he could meditate. His search paid off when he found the ideal spot. The place was in Europe, in a country called Portugal. He chose a peaceful city, far from the rush of large cities, that has a small and beautiful village, with people known for being friendly and caring. They tried to choose a new house to fasten the process, but Chester loved an old house that needed a lot of rebuilding, but it inspired him good vibes.

The decision was made and the band got in their private plane that took off for a long tiring journey of 6 hours.

***** PORTUGAL *****

It was almost 8 AM and I was finishing my morning run.

My heart problems could be attenuated with exercises and no medication and I love to exercise, so that's a plus.

I was wearing pink shorts, due to the heat wave that has been tormenting our days, a black top with thin straps and a black sports bra. My NIKE tennis was pink and I had a small bag on the arm, where my smartphone was playing music.

As I hummed "Scar Tissue" from the Red Hot Chilli Peppers I was arriving home when I saw two black cars parking in the abandoned house that was restored in record time next to my house. I saw lots of men and some women coming out of cars and entering the house.

 _Hmm, new neighbors. Maybe I should say Hi_ , I thought to myself.

I approached the cars and turned to one of the men and said:

"Olá!" (English: Hello)

The man smiled and said with a funny accent:

"Olá. Falas inglês?" (English: Hello. Do you speak English?)

"Yes, a little. I live in the house next door. Are you living here now?"

The man looked at me for some time and said, smile still plastered on his face:

"A neighbor? Hm, my name is Mike."

"I'm Catarina, but everyone calls me Cat... I feel like I know you from somewhere, but my memory is not what it used to be, I'm sorry." I smiled as I watched the rest of the men taking lots of bags from their cars. I noticed lots of guitar bags, drums, flutes and other kinds of instruments. 

"Maybe because my pals and I are a band... Linkin Park, do you know us?"

I widened my eyes and froze, nodding surprised at Mike.

"So, Linkin Park are your new neighbors, but we wanted this to be a secret, can you do that?"

"Don't worry. Give me a fake story and I'll only tell that."

"Sweet! I see we could be great neighbors. But, let me introduce you to my mates. This is Joe and his wife Heidi, this is Brad and this is Rob. That little shit over there is David and that one is Chester. Chester Bennington."

They all said hello, but Chester stared at me and just gave me a sweet smile. For longer than I intended, I stared into his dark eyes and appreciated how bright they were. They looked like they were gazing me deeply like they could read my soul. Chester had stopped his movement and approached me to grab my hand and kiss my knuckles. He never took his eyes off me and I could feel my face burn -  _way to go, Cat. No way that could go unnoticed._  As my lips started moving by themselves I found Chester smiling at me with the most genuine smirk I've ever seen.

"Uhm, if you need anything, or have any questions, just ring the bell at my house and I'll help you."

"Thank you, Cat. We'll do that." Chester thanked me spontaneously.

Mike stared at us in silence for a moment. His mind was already setting a plan in action as he saw how his beloved friend was responding to the  _new girl_. He was contemplating something to share with the rest of the guys later, but his mind clicked and before I left them, he called out for me. I turned around and trying to ignore Chester's' gaze, I turned to Mike.

"Cat, tonight we're going to throw a small party to inaugurate the new house. You're more than invited. Nothing big. Just some beer, some games and chit-chat. 8 PM it's good for you?"

My whole life I ran away from this kind of thing: unknown people. It's was hard for me to trust anyone, let alone make new friends. But somehow, the way Chester looked at me, I felt like I was safe. Like they were nothing else than love and companionship. With a warm heart, I smiled at them and finally looked back at Chester's' curious gaze.

"With pleasure. Thank you. See you later, then." And I turned around, still unsure of why I was acting that way with people I just met.


	2. Chapter 2

My day went by quickly. I love my work. I have a veterinary hospital that I built with a lot of effort and that I dedicated all my life. My coworkers are the loveliest people I've ever had the chance to meet.

I guess I chose a professional career in this field, first of all, because I love animals, and second because I handle easier animals than humans. Animals are not evil. They are just the way people make them and, most importantly, they don't fake. And every time I saw an animal leaving my hospital with their health recovered, I feel fulfilled.

It was a quiet day and I got home before 6 P.M.

I took a long shower and when I got out I decided to wear a cute red dress, that embraced my curves in the right places. Even though it was flashy it wasn't too provocative, that's why I decided to wear it. To match my dress I put on my white Comverse tennis with a red stripe at the bottom and put on my favorite perfume: D & G's Light Blue. 

I didn't put any make-up on, just my moisturizing cream. And after blow drying and straightening my hair, I looked at me in the mirror and smiled.

"You can do this," I whispered at myself. "You can make friends."

Before I changed my mind, I left my house and quickly reached the new neighbors' main door where I rang the bell and sighed deeply.

In the middle of the noise, David opened the door and shouted for the rest of the group.

 "Cat came. She didn't find us boring." He smiled at me and cleared the passage. "Enter, we ordered pizza and we are playing PES."

"Pizza? Sounds good ... PES? I love it!" I have two older brothers so I was raised playing PES with them. It was entertaining, but I love to win.  _Too much sometimes._

"Guys, we have a PES lover here. Mike, finish that shameful game, give Cat the controller and let her play against Chester." David then turned to me: "Chester is the best PES player I've ever known. They are all afraid to play against him."

"Hey, no we're not." Mike protested.

I laughed and challenged them in a mocking tone.

 "Hm, not impressed. I think your fear will turn to me after I beat Chester's' ass."

They all laughed and David poked Chester with his elbow, telling him he had a challenge ahead.  Chester finished his game, after humiliating Mike and he finally took a look at me. His challenging eyes melted as soon as they met mine. When he offered me the controller, he whispered: 

"A challenge indeed".

I sat on the couch and picked up the PS4 controller. I chose Barcelona when I saw that Chester chose Real Madrid. The game was 20 minutes long. It was a draw: 2-2. After that, Prolonging. And then,  penalties. You should see Chester's face when he tried to defend the penalties and failed miserably - priceless!

When the game was over, the group of friends was totally silent, watching the final outcome of the game on the TV that indicated that I had won the game. They were incredulous, even Chester himself.

"Anybody else wants to play?" I finally said, breaking the silence.

I heard someone whistle and comment "You found one hell of an opponent." 

I blushed a little when I looked back at Chester and he was looking right at me.

"Where did you learn to play?" Mike asked while he answered the door. It must be the pizza delivery guy.

"I have two older brothers... I play PES since the first Pro Evolution Soccer since it got out. And we played a lot with each other. The three of us even made championships."I thought about that time in my life when my brothers were still single and living with my parents and me in our house. Now they're married, with children and everything changed.

Mike whistled and Joe said: "Chester here too. Lots in common. What else do you play?"

"Stuff... With friends, I play PES, Tekken, Need for Speed, SmackDown... Alone? I love FPS... any kind, but I tend to play horror games more... Even the shitty ones. But I like to try a little bit of  everything."

Joe put a hand on his heart and the other on his head pretending to faint and he gasped dramatically.

"I think I'm in love!"

I laughed at them and they started to talk among each other about games and gave me pizza at the same time. Chester got closer to me and started a conversation:

"So, a gamer neighbor. That's nice. What else can I know about you?"

"About me?" Suddenly I didn't know what to say. "I'm a simple girl, simple tastes... I own a Veterinary Hospital, I'm a surgeon, so you must guess that I like animals."

"Do you have any pets?"

"I do... Two dogs, a cat, and a bird."

His curious expression suddenly vanished and he became sad and thoughtful.

"I never had any pet. But I like animals too."

"They are the most loyal beings and they don't pretend to be something they are not... One of these days I'll introduce you to my pets. They are lovely and they enjoy pampering."

"That would be great!" He sounded too excited and he coughed, trying to straighten his posture. 

"How long will you stay here?" I asked after a long time of silence watching the rest of the group joking around.

"I don't know... It's... complicated?" He smiled weakly. "But I will stay long enough to have my revenge for losing the game."

I laughed at him. "Any time you want. You know where I live."

"Yes, I do." He eyed me very curiously.

The party was awesome. They improvised on guitar, there was beer, food, and happiness all around us. But the rest of the night I talked a lot with Chester on the couch.

We get to know each other and my first impression was that he was a very kind person with a soft heart. He talked about his band, how he met the other bandmates. He told me about his tastes and his preferences about everything that you can imagine. He asked me about my life, how I grew up and, of course, what my favorite bands are. When I told him I love Red Hot Chili Peppers, Queen, AC/DC and Linkin Park he formed a smile across his face and told me those were his favorites too. We laughed about everything and for the first time in my life I was finally having a good time with someone new without being afraid of being hurt.

Unfortunately, the party had come to an end and I had to said goodbye to everyone. Chester followed me to the door and said goodbye, by planting a gentle kiss on my knuckles. Fortunately, it was dark and he couldn't see my flushed face.

I went home with a stupid smile on my face.  _Oh for God's sake Cat. Get yourself together... You're not a crazy fangirl_. I thought to myself.  _And you don't even know him, don't trust people that you don't know. That's how you've been living all your life, don't stop now!_  But his smiling face never left my head - those deep shiny dark eyes looking at me and that smile... that damn smile...

I felt myself falling asleep peacefully with a soft smile on my face and for the first time in... I don't know how long... I had the most peaceful night with no nightmares. 

When I woke up the next morning, my heart couldn't contain its excitement. My mother woke me up with a letter in her hand.

"É para ti"(English: It's for you);

"De Quem é?" (English: Who is it from?)

"Não sei. Alguém a deixou no correio (English: I don't know. Someone left it on the mailbox)

It didn't have any Sender name on it, only "Cat". I started reading the letter:

_Dear Cat._   
_Last night was one of the funniest I've had in years. Thanks to you._   
_I want to have more fun like that. Maybe at dinner tonight? 8 PM? Perhaps you could show me your city, I would really appreciate that._   
_I'll be waiting for you at home, but if you decide not to come, I totally understand._

_I'll be waiting for you.  
Your neighbor, Chester._

When I finished reading I was incredulous. Maybe he also enjoyed our conversation?  _Oh, shut up... Don't think like that. You're gonna be disappointed_  I was having a weird fight inside my head as I didn't understand why I was acting so stupid with someone I met a few hours ago. But there was something I couldn't explain that made me want to accept his invitation.

"E então, de Quem é?" (English: So, who is it from?) My mother asked.

"É um convite para Jantar. Hoje". (English: It's an invitation to dinner. Today) I replied with a smile on my face, holding the letter close to my heart. I sank back on the bed, wondering what I should wear at night.


	3. Chapter 3

Since it was Saturday I stayed in bed, alone with my thoughts. I try not to dwell on my past a lot. But every time I was starting to move on with my life, it would always come back to haunt me. And even though I tried to control my brain and shake those feelings away, the voice in the back of my head always try to scare me and push me away from people. - _But not this time._

So getting up from the bed, I started my day, too anxious about my dinner that night. It was the first time in years that I go out with someone. With a man.

I cleaned my house in an attempt to clear my mind, walked my dogs for a while and went to buy some groceries.

I took the opportunity and went to see clothes. I walked past a storefront and enjoyed a dress that was exposed. It was yellow, with a round skirt and a small triangle-shaped opening above the navel. I looked at the price of it and it pleased me, so I decided to put it on. As soon as I dressed it and glanced at myself in the mirror I loved the way it looked and decided to buy it. 

 _Glad I have dinner tonight, I can use it_ , I thought to myself.

The rest of the day I read a book in my yard, lying face down on the air mattress. But when it approached 6.30PM I decided to prepare myself for dinner. I went to the bathroom so early because it always takes a long time to dry my hair. It is almost blond, straight and waist-length. After the shower, I spent about 30 minutes of drying and straightening my hair. I put body cream that smells like red fruits, deodorizing and perfume. I put on my underwear, yellow lingerie, put on my new yellow dress and put on some high-heeled black sandals. Finally, I put on a very light makeup: just a little concealer and dust to hide the dark circles, thin black eyeliner and a little mascara. Something very discreet but that gave a special touch.

When I was finished I looked at myself in the mirror before leaving and I liked what I saw. Nothing too fancy but little casual. I looked at the clock and it was 7.52PM, so I grabbed my black bag and started walking down my street to knock on Chesters' door.

Chester opened it immediately and a wide smile formed on the man's' face.

"I'm glad you decided to come. You look very beautiful."

"Thank you. You look very handsome too" I looked at him. He was wearing black pants and black shoes, with a white simple shirt white a V-neck.

"Come on, let's get the car." He closed the door behind him and started walking. "I was browsing on the internet and found this little restaurant nearby. It is in a hotel, above the city. I think it is nice."

He showed me his smartphone and I immediately recognized it. It was 4km away and I knew it was too expensive even though I've never been there.

"Chester. This restaurant is too... fancy."

"I know. I liked it and I'm going to pay for it. I want to take you somewhere nice, to thank you for your hospitality." He winked at me, focusing on the road.

"You don't need to. I'd be fine with McDonald's." I chuckled even though I was being honest.

He laughed at me. "Note to my self: next date - McDonald's."

 _Date, huh?_ I smiled as we were already driving towards the restaurant and talking about all kinds of stuff. He never ceased to amaze me with the stories from his tours and I just stared at him, amazed with the excitement on his voice and the wonders of his world.

When we got to the restaurant he parked his car, got out of it and ran towards my door to open it.

"Wow, what a gentleman you are. Thank you very much."

He just smiled and we entered the restaurant. He already made a reservation near a window with a fantastic view of the city. I was amazed watching how the city lights illuminated the dark night as a waiter approached us and handed us the menu. We ordered our preferences and waited for some time. I was the first to break the silence.

"So. What does a rockstar like you in a place like this?"

"Well, that's a hard question." His expression became troubled but his eyes were still shinning.

"Oh.. I'm sorry, didn't mean to intrude."

"It's ok. You didn't. I'll tell you one day. What about you? What do you like to do around here?"

"Well, I'm a book lover. I'm always reading. Anything. I don't have any preferences. It distracts me."

"From what?"

"From stuff in my life. It was not always easy. But now I'm good, I think" I smiled weakly at him. "Maybe one day, when you tell me what brought you here, I'll tell you my story."

"Maybe." He smiled back and thought for a moment. "What about movies? Do you like to go to the cinema?"

"Well, I love movies. I tend to watch horror movies or heroes movies. And you?"

"I like all kinds of genres really. And I love to go to the cinema. Perhaps we could go see one together someday?"

"I'd love to. I want to watch Ant-man and the wasp, so maybe we could go... tomorrow night?"

"I have nothing on my agenda, so it's movie night tomorrow." Chester grinned but trying not to sound too excited. Well, he was failing.

The waiter arrived with our food and wine, interrupting our conversation.

The rest of the dinner was spent talking about our hobbies, he told me more things about his life - his amazing life. And I tried to give him a piece of me and told him things about me. But in the middle of the conversation, when he was gesturing about accidents that happened to him on stage, I noticed several scars on his wrists, hidden by his flames tattoo. I tried not to stare but I think he noticed where my eyes were locked and he hid his arms under the table. I didn't even want to ask how he made those scars... I could only imagine.

We left the restaurant and I proposed to go for a walk in the park next to the restaurant. The park had a big lake with fish, where people would take a boat trip during the day. But at night everything was very dark and quiet.

"I like to come to these places at night, there is no running around and there are no tourists taking pictures at everything that moves. Few people walk at this time of the night."

"Do you usually come here by yourself at night?"

"Sometimes. But when I'm down, or when I need to get away for a while, I usually go somewhere else... there are not as many trees in that place as there are here, so you can see the sky full of stars... I can show you some of these days. "

"Why not today? " He asked, positioning himself in front of me and making me stop.

"It's almost midnight, Chester" I chuckled.

"It's a long night ... It's also a weekend and ... and I like your company. Would you give me the pleasure to enjoy it a little longer?"

I felt myself blushing and smiled. 

We got in the car and drove to the place -  It was Santurário do Sameiro. It is a large monastery, on top of the mountain which has a large staircase facing the city. The view over the city is just amazing. So peaceful. And when I look up, there are stars shining right at me and it makes me feel better somehow.

I walked to the place where I usually go, with Chester quietly watching our surroundings. There was no soul to be found in that holy place. I sat down on the stairs and lay down, looking up to the sky. Chester mimicked me in silence.

"When I need to think about something, or when I have a problem that I can't get rid of, I come here and count the stars... I watch them and I wonder if they know their places. When I think about how many stars there are I think about the way my problems are an influence to them. Then, my problems started to seem less heavy and I finally see things clearer."

"I never thought about it that way." He whispered like he was finally acknowledging a secret about life.

"Yeah. Life makes you cope with things in special ways. But I don't come here only when I have problems. When something good happens, or when I just feel good with life, I come here during the day, enter the church, kneel and meditate. It feels good."

"Have you ever brought anyone here with you?"

I thought about it for a second and hesitated for a while. Everything was mute around us, except for the weak summer breeze shaking the leafs from the trees. And meanwhile, inside my head was a fight over why the hell I was there with someone I just met. Sighing, I opened my mouth and answered him, at last.

"No, I haven't."

Chester remained also silent for a while, his lungs filling with hair. He didn't know what was the reason for his anxiety around me nor why he wanted to know more about me. 

"So, why did you brought me to your special place?" He ended up questioning me with his uncertainty.

I turned my head to him and looked him in the eyes. His eyes gleamed because of the bright moonlight and his facial expression was totally relaxed, with a slight smile on the corner of his carnal lips. I felt my heart racing inside my chest,  a lump in my throat and butterflies inside my belly. I tried so hard to control my breathing, but his gaze made it difficult for me. Chester didn't even dare to look away from me and his expression didn't change a bit while his heart was also beating weirdly.

After just staring at each other, laying on the floor, I was the one to break the silence. But as I tried to speak, my voice was weak and I could only whisper.

"Maybe it's time to go home ... It's 2 in the morning." I smiled.

"I could stay here forever" Very carefully and in the most gentle way, Chester moved one of his hand and caressed my face.

"Chester..." I closed my eyes as soon as I felt his touch. His hand was warm, leaving a trail of fire on my cheeks. If it wasn't dark, I would be probably red as a pepper. His touch was like nothing I've experienced before. Just a single caress made my body shiver, my heart pound, and my eyes filled with tears. No one ever touched me this way before -  _well, I never let anyone touch me in any way, actually._

With a slight discomfort pulled away from his caress, slowly getting up to a sitting position. Chester closed his eyes and sighed, pulling his body up to my side

"I'm sorry, did I upset you?"

"No ... It's all right." Actually, it wasn't, but I didn't know what else to say.

"I didn't mean to scare you." Chester sounded honest and it made me look him in the eyes and smile. 

Somehow, when I look him in the eyes I feel safe around him. I feel like he was one to protect me if something bad happens. And that felt weird. Weird, but good. That's why I was smiling at him.

"You didn't. Really. Tomorrow at 8.30PM at my house. The movie is at 9 PM. I'll buy tickets online, this way we avoid the queues and you being chased by fangirls." I poked him with my elbow.

"Nice of you thinking of that. I haven't thought about it... I just wanted to hang out with you some more."

"Do your fans know about you being here?"

"Eventually they'll find out. We canceled our tour and said that I'll be away for some time..." He became hypnotized in a thoughtful trance.

"Something bad must have happened to get you away from the music world," I stated.

"If I told you, you would think less of me. I think less of me for what I did." He looked down to his hands as if he was condemning himself for some reason.

"Why would I?"

"I can't tell you... Maybe you could search on the internet about my life and you'll find out since everyone thinks they know everything about my life." He sounded a bit too gruff, but he seems to regret it as he glanced at me with beseeching dark eyes. 

We remained quiet for a moment, letting his words sink in. But I decided not to take it personally.

"No. I won't. I don't want to know what people write about you or your story on the internet or any shitty magazines. Whatever you wanna tell me, I'll be grateful for that. But I only wanna hear it for you."

"Cat..." He grabbed my hands and kissed them both. "You must be the sweetest woman I have ever met... Truly."

I smiled at him but took my hands off his grip. "Well, this sweet woman is sleepy, so take me home, please."

"Come on then." Chester got up and held a hand for me, which I immediately grabbed.

When we got to his garage, he parked his car and we started walking slowly, almost as if none of us wanted our moment together to end. I wasn't wrong about that, because even though my home was only 10 meters away from his, he insisted on walking me home.

"I had a great time today..." He looked at his wrist watch and smiled "... And yesterday."

"Me too... Thank you, Chester." I leaned in and kissed him on his cheek, making him froze and grin. "Good night Chester."

"Good night, Cat."

I was grabbing my keys in front of the hole when he added: "By the way, here." He handed me a piece of paper which I opened, finding a phone number. "I held to it. I was hesitant to give it to you. But... I really wanted to do it."

I beamed at him. "Thank you and good night."

I entered home, closed the door behind me and leaned against it, breathing heavily. It was a great night as I never had before.  _But it wasn't only that was it?_ I was starting to enjoy Chester's' company. But how was it possible? I just met him... And he is a rockstar, for God's sake. One day he'll leave and I'll be alone.  _Again_.

I went to bed, thinking about our wonderful night. About the way he treated me and how he talked to me in the most caring way. I couldn't fall asleep because of the excitement, so eventually, I started to write a message using the number of the piece of paper he gave me.

_ME: I really, really had a great time tonight. I hope we enjoy many more. Looking forward for our movie night._   
_Cat_

I pressed the Send button and waited for some time. About a minute after, I received a message from him:  
CHESTER:  _Me too Cat... I don't think I can wait until tomorrow night to see you. Don't know why._  
ME:  _I kinda feel the same. It's weird. I only know you for a few days._  
CHESTER:  _Yeah, it's weird. But it's a good weird... Isn't it?_  
ME:  _I guess... But we'll have time to know each other... I hope..._  
CHESTER:  _You hope? Why wouldn't we?_

I didn't know what to answer him, so I stayed quiet for some time thinking about how he could just disappear suddenly, just as he appeared in my life.  
CHESTER:  _Cat?_  
ME:  _I'm here. Just thinking. One day you'll go back to your world. You'll forget about me soon after._  
CHESTER:  _I don't want to think about it... I want to enjoy our time. And I would never forget about you._  
ME:  _Silly, you just met me :)_  
CHESTER:  _So? Don't you believe in "Love at first sight?"_  
ME:  _LOL, don't mock me. And I don't think I truly believe in love anymore. At least not that kind of love._  
CHESTER:  _May I ask you why?_  
ME:  _One day, rockstar._  
CHESTER:  _Well, I believe in love. But I also believe that most of the people only like the idea of love. Love is not something you give and take. Love is forever. You may date a woman and think you love her and then you break up and forget her. That means it wasn't love. Love makes you crazy. Makes you want to be crazy. Or give up everything just to see that person smile. You stop being selfish and you care about someone more than your own life. That's what love means for me. And I never said anyone "I love you". Maybe one day. Maybe not._  
ME:  _That's... kinda cute... You're waiting for someone special. It's a good way to think about it. I just don't know if I can open up enough to let someone in like that._  
CHESTER:  _You haven't had anyone in your life?_  
ME:  _Kinda... But I don't want to talk about it right now._  
CHESTER:  _I'm sorry... Once again... I just want to know more about you._  
ME: _Why?_  
CHESTER:  _Because you seem a good person and I need that kind of people around me._  
ME:  _Come on. Look at me. There's nothing interesting to know about._  
CHESTER:  _Ok, I closed my eyes and imagined you. You're wrong._  
ME:  _And you're delusional. Or maybe you're already sleeping._  
CHESTER:  _That means, you're in my dream. That's weird._  
ME: :-|  _Ok... I'm gonna sleep now... You're weird. Goodnight Chester. See ya tomorrow :) "_  
CHESTER:  _Sweet Dreams Cat... Can't wait for tomorrow night."_

I almost can't feel my face as I've been smiling since the first message. And when we finally said our goodbyes I put my phone on the bedside table and closed my eyes, exhaling all those strange feeling inside my head.

Even though I was more than excited about knowing Chester, I felt terrified about those feels he was igniting inside my heart. My head was filled with questions about what all of that could mean, but I didn't know what the real reason was. It was all new to me: me, knowing a stranger, getting to know him, going on dates. I don't do that. At all.

And besides all those questions and enigmas I was trying to solve, I couldn't think about anything else, other than his face illuminated by the moonlight and how it made his dark brown eyes shine even more. And that thought made me smile even more. 

When I wasn't expecting I started to feel myself drift away with him being my last thought.


	4. Chapter 4

When I woke up, the memories of last night still wander my head and I wonder why was I thinking about him all the time. 

I pushed those thoughts and those feelings away and tried to do something useful for the day. It was Monday, but I took a break from work for a week so I could enjoy the summer sun.  _Maybe I could show Chester some Portuguese beaches and_...  _What am I thinking? Leave it alone, Cat. Mind your own business._

I had lunch with my family as usual. I always love these lunches, where we're all together and I feel truly happy, like nothing in the world could bring me down. But when I'm alone... I am my worst company, as I feel sad and think about stuff from my past that I know I shouldn't. I pretend to be strong in front of my family, when in fact I feel alone and lost. I try to follow a happy and carefree life philosophy, but sometimes I'm weak and I want to give up. 

Anyway, I was drinking coffee with my brothers, talking about TV shows when my phone vibrated. It was a message from Chester which I opened immediately and a wide smile formed on my lips. My brothers looked at me with raised brows, trying to have a peek, but I ran away from them laughing and finally, I read the message.

CHESTER:  _Well, it's Sunday. Mike is being a pain in the ass and wants to go out, but we can't decide where. Only if we had some friendly native to show us around..."_  
ME: P _oor things... well, I could be a very good neighbor if I do that... Maybe I can show you the church and you could assist to our Catholic Mass."_  
CHESTER:  _That would be very kind of you... But -- I'm Muslin._  
ME:  _No you're not! xD But ok, I'll be right there and I'll be your guide for the afternoon._  
CHESTER:  _Best neighbor we could ever ask."  
ME:  _Yeah yeah"__

***Meanwhile at Chester's****

Mike kept asking Chester about his date with me. Chester, a gentleman as he is, refused to share anything with him and even refused to call it a date.

"Oh come on Chezz, you barely meet her and you're already making goo-goo eyes at her." He gave him a pat on the back of his neck, while his friend was tying his shoelaces.

"No I'm not, and yes, I barely meet her, we're just knowing each other."Mike gave him a mocking smile and Chester rolled his eyes, getting away from his grip.

"And that's why you have a date with her tonight." Chester opened his mouth to protest, but Mike interrupted him. "And don't dare you to say it's not a date. You're going to the movies. You don't go to the cinema for years now."

"Ok, maybe it's a date. But MAYBE I want to be left alone with my private life, is that possible?" He smirked.

"I'm joking bro. Just... Don't hurt yourself ok? And don't hurt her." His friend was now talking in a more serious tone, showing how much he really cared for Chester. They were more than bandmates, more than friends. They were brothers. And no matter what, they had each others' back.

"Jesus Mike, I'm not marrying her"

"We'll see about that."

Chester punched Mike on his chest, making him laugh out loud at his friend. When Chester was about to pout, he was interrupted once again by the doorbell. Automatically his body ran to the door and he opened the door for me before rolling his eyes at Mike.

"Our guide is here!" He invited me in with a warm smile on his face.

"So, Cat, what places do we need to know?" Mike asked and the rest of the group joined us.

"Well, I think I can show some special places around, but I can't show you all of them because I have an appointment tonight" I smiled at Chester and he smiled back.

I took the steering wheel seat and started to drive through the city. I showed them some special places like, "Sé de Braga", "Monte do Picoto", "Castelo de Guimarães", "Nossa Senhora da Penha" and I still made them climb the staircase of the "Bom Jesus do Monte". ( _You can check images of these places online_ ). They were out of breath when they managed to climb the last step. 

Still catching his breath, Mike tried to speak between gasps.

 "You're... the worst guide ever."

"Don't be a pussy, it was just a couple of stairs." Well, I was used to that path, so it was no challenge for me.

"We let the car down there, which means we're going to need to go down the stairs again," Chester said, looking at me tired and in despair.

"Or not." And I smiled before asking them to follow me.

I showed them the church and the beautiful park where there were tourists taking pictures of everything that moves, people on a little boat trip through the lake and kids noisily playing in the playground. Chester and I were there last night when I showed him another side of that place. Thinking about how good it was to be alone with him made me smile a little and when I looked by the corner of my eyes, he was smiling too.

When I showed them the "Elevador do Bom Jesus: upa e cupa" with a mischievous smile on my face, they sighed - That meant that they could have taken the elevator instead of climbing those infinite trails of stairs.

"Well, I'm hungry," Chester said looking at me with a hard look. "... thanks to Cat. Where can we eat?"

"I know someplace nice, a little far, but nice. They make such incredible toasts and milkshakes..."

I took them to "Manjar dos Doces" and each of them ate 2 big toasts. I can only eat 1/2 of toast! They eat like animals!

For hours we talked about their tours and about the most embarrassing moments of their careers while on stage. It actually felt good to be around them; To fit in a group of nice people that only want to have a good time. Fortunately, there weren't any incidents with crazy fans along the way. We only had to leave the place because it was getting late for dinner and for the movies. 

We arrived home at 7.30PM and I said my goodbyes, each one of us heading home. As soon as I enter my house, I felt my phone on the purse vibrating, so I picked it up and saw another SMS from Chester:  
CHESTER: _Thank you, Cat. I really enjoyed your company today... Hope you didn't forget we still have a movie to watch"._  
ME:  _Never. I'll knock on your door at 8.30 sharp."_  
CHESTER:  _See ya..."_

I was still full from the snack of the afternoon so I went directly to my bathroom to take a quick shower. The hot water washed away all the sweat from our trip and relaxed my muscles enough for me to be calm about the movie night.

When I decided to leave my thoughts, I picked up the clothes I would wear that night. I decided to put on some light blue jeans and a simple white top, white two thin straps. I made a half updo on my hair and choose some pearl accessories. For the makeup, I only put some mascara and something to cover my dark circles. I put on my Playboy perfume, grabbed my small white handbag and got out of the house. I knocked on his door like I said, at 8.30PM and he immediately opened it, his eyes shining once they fell on me.

"You look nice," he said with a smile on his face.

"I look normal...?" I said looking at my simple outfit.

"You always look nice" He blushed a little and diverted his look somewhere else.

"What a playboy you are," I laughed. "Are you hitting on me?"

"What? I... No... " He widened his eyes, stumbling in his own words. "You're just... beautiful. I'm sorry... I didn't mean to--"

"I'm joking. Relax, Chester" I laughed at him and pocked him with my elbow while we entered his car.

"Ah ha, very funny," He rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I should have recorded your face... So... You think I'm beautiful, uh?"

"Stop mocking me," he glanced at me with an embarrased expression.

"It was you who said it." I laughed harder.

"And I'll regret it for the rest of my life."

We arrived at the cinema and we entered almost immediately through the back doors, to avoid being seen. When I was a teenager I worked there for two years as a part-time job. I actually didn't need the money, I just wanted to feel normal. But it was nice to work there. You get to see one or two movies tassel. When we got to our places I asked him if he wanted popcorns - which he said yes -, so I got up and got out of the room heading for the point of sale. I took about 5 minutes to get back to him but when I arrived I froze when I saw a gorgeous red-haired girl talking to him, sitting on my chair. Chester saw me and looked at me almost paralyzed, while the girl continued to speak to him, trying to get closer. I gathered courage, went towards them and spoke very nicely and low.

"Sorry, miss, this place is taken."

"Yes, it is. By me" She said, smiling at Chester. I smiled at her and whispered to her ear.

"I assume you're here because you want to see the movie. If you don't leave my seat, I can make you leave this movie and never even put your little feet in another movie theater like this one. Do you understand me or may I show it to you? "

She looked at me in shock. Chester had a smirk on his face and when the girl looked at him she felt offended and left us alone, finally.

"Fangirl?" I asked, handing him the popcorns.

"Crazy fan girl. I told her I had company but she didn't care. What is it with women like her? And where did you learn to be that evil?"

"I'm a bad bitch, ain't I? I worked at this place in the past. I had to deal with a lot of... peculiar people like her."

"I think you're peculiar."

I eyed him carefully. "Not like he, right?"

"No. It's in a good peculiar way."

I was about to answer but the lights went off and the movie began. We're watching The Ant-man and the Wasp, both of us loving super-hero movies. Every now and then, whenever both of us wanted popcorn our hands brushed each other and I felt like my skin was on fire. I tried to pay attention to the movie and ignore those moments and  _thank God, the lights were off -_ I was blushing too hard.

When the movie was finally over we left immediately to his car, talking about what we loved most in the movie. I was having such a good time with him, I didn't want to go home just yet. So I took a deep breath and spoke shyly.

"Do you wanna go home already? Or do you want to grab some coffee?"

"I would love to, but myabe we should go home. I think one inccident with a crazy fan it's enough." Chester made a disgusted face that made me laugh.

"So...what you're gonna do tomorrow?" I asked already thinking that we could spend more time together.  _What is wrong with me?_

"Don't know yet... Maybe workout, write some new song... I'm feeling inspired."

"I'm on vacations, so if you want to do something tomorrow or the next week just give me a call..."  _I should stop. It sounds like I have nothing else to do._

After a moment of total silence he ended up answering. "Yeah, Cat... I can't tomorrow... I have something to do..." 

I smiled at him but felt sad inside, I didn't know why. 

The next day I woke up a little late. I didn't have time to eat breakfast because it was already lunchtime. So I had lunch and went to walk my dogs in the afternoon. As I was leaving and passing Chester's house, I noticed that everything was quiet and it didn't seem to be anybody in the house. I looked at my phone and there was no message from Chester, so I ignored my thoughts and went for a walk with my dogs. For some days this was a routine. I texted Chester but never got a response. I went to his house and there was no one there. I felt this bad feeling in my stomach but I kept it cool...

In the middle of the week, I went to walk my dogs as usual. It took me about an hour and a half to get home. When I got home, Chester had just arrived too. As soon as I saw him and his friends I said "Hello" with joy, but this joy was not reciprocal. Chester had a low and sad look on his eyes and Mike looked at me with a worried and pitying face, only nodding his head. They entered the house silently and I stood there worried. That look from Chester broke me inside, but it didn't seem to me they wanted to be bothered with questions, so I just went home. I thought about sending an SMS to Chester but it would be better to do it later.

The day passed very slowly, but when I realized it was already night. I had dinner with my mother and after cleaning up the kitchen I went to my terrace to see the stars. I looked at Chester's house and saw him also at his terrace, laying on the floor with his eyes closed. I hoped his phone was near him as I started to type a message.

ME:  _The stars are too beautiful for you to be with your eyes closed._

He opened his eyes when he heard his phone, read the message and smiled at it. I received immediately an answer.  
CHESTER:  _I'm imagining something more beautiful with my eyes closed._  
ME:  _Is it a puppy?_

I saw him smiling at his phone.

CHESTER:  _Always putting a smile on my face... But no, not a puppy... I was imagining you_

I looked at my phone with my eyes widened. I must have been quiet for too long as he sent me another text.

CHESTER:  _I'm sorry. It's just... Lately, you're the only happy part of my life. Your company is the best..._  
ME:  _It's good it's already night. You won't see me blush._  
 _Chester... your sad face the other day... it broke my heart to see you that way... I don't know what's wrong, but the smile on your face means too much to me. If there's anything I can do for you, please, I want to help..._  
CHESTER:  _I don't know... Maybe there is something you can do... Be by my side now..._

Without thinking twice, I climbed the wall between his house and mine and I just lay beside him without saying a word. Somehow I felt his body trembling and a silent fight inside his head. He was debating with himself if he should tell me what he was feeling inside and if he should be an open book with me. And when he finally opened his mouth to speak, I gasped silently and heard him, word by word.

"When I was a little boy my parents moved from state to state. I had few friends and my parents were always fighting... They got divorced when I was 11 and I moved in with my mom...She is an amazing woman... She would love to meet you..." He sighed and continued. "When I was about 7 years old, there was this older "Friend" of mine that... started to do things to me...It escalated from a touchy, curious, 'what does this thing do' into full-on, crazy violations." I tensed up and began to tremble a little. "I was getting beaten up and being forced to do things I didn't want to do. I was so scared... I didn't tell anyone and it went on for years... It was an awful time. I hated everybody in my family: I felt abandoned by my mom, my dad was not very emotionally stable, and there was no-one I could turn to – at least that's how my young mind felt... So I turned to drugs and alcohol and parties and women... The only good thing I've ever had was the band and my mates... I was on 11 hits of acid a day. I dropped so much acid I'm surprised I can still speak! They tried to help me, but I was... am in a deep depression. It seems I'm on this black hole and all of the energy is sucked in along with my will to live."

I felt a tear on my cheek but remained silent as he continued to speak.

"In 2006, I had a choice between stopping drinking or dying. I haven't touched any of those stuff since then... I went to therapy and was medicated and I got better. But even though I love music and all, I still feel empty. I don't know why... My brain right here is really fucked up. When I'm on stage or recording, or just hanging out with the guys I'm fine and I feel like nothing can tear me down. But when I'm alone..." He muffled a laugh, pointing to his head. "This is a bad bad place and a bad company for myself... A few months ago I was alone at the 53rd anniversary of my late friend Chris and I was drowning in my own sorrow... So, I tried to... " he gulped and stop talking. I touched his hand with mine and we intertwine our fingers. "I cut my wrists and waited for the end of everything." I could feel more tears falling down my eyes. "Mike saved my life... And the rest of the band and I decided to pause our career as a band, focusing on my recovery, so we agreed to run away from the spotlight and I ended up here..." He paused and I could feel him smiling. "Now that I think of it: I don't regret it. Not a bit. Now I know you."

Chester turned his head to me, eyeing me carefully while he waited for me to say anything.

"Cat... Say something... I... I'm sorry, I didn't want you to think less of me and I didn't want to tell you, but I can't hide it from you..." He tried to apologize.

"Chester... I don't know what to say." I turned my head to face him and our noses were barely touching.

He wiped my tears away gently and whispered.

"Anything will do..."

"I really don't know what to say... You've been through so much... Why is life like this? It's not fair..."

"I don't know... But I didn't make good decisions either. So I had it coming." He muffled a laugh, but his face became sad again.

"Don't say that, Chester. You don't deserve this... You deserve better. You are kind. You're good to people. You deserve a good and happy life."

"I went to my first therapy two days ago, yesterday and today... Portuguese doctors are... good. I told her about you."

"You did?... Uh, why?" I asked curiously.

"Because I'm selfish.... because I like you... I like the way I feel around you. And I want to be around you all the time."

"Oh, Chester... That's nice... But I'm not the best person to be around with."

He got up to a sitting position, held a hand so I can do the same and cupped my face with his hands. He looked at me with those shiny dark eyes, like he was trying to find something in mine.

"Tell me you don't feel the same."

"It's not that... I do..." He smiled softly at me but I didn't. I took his hands away from my face slowly but he didn't let go of my hands after. "But Chester, I'm not a good person. I've done bad things, and I... I push people away."

"Nothing you say is going to make me think you're a bad person. Nothing."

"What if I told you I killed someone?"

"I would like to hear the explanation. But I'm sure either it was an accident or it was necessary."

I sighed and let out a small laugh "It was necessary."

He waited for me to continue, his eyes expecting to know more about me.

"I was about 10 years old when I had a car accident with my parents and some friends of them. Our car fell down the road and down a ravine. My parents were ok, but their friends died. I was projected out of the car and I fainted. When I woke up I was tied with steel chains in some kind of bed. I started to scream and some other girls told me to shut up. I was held captive for 2 years by men that sold girls in the black market to get married to older men in Arabic countries. They would feed us, treat us just above the survival limit, they would beat us..." I gulped and clenched my fists, gathering forces to continue. "All of this until our first menstruation... The thing that makes us women... Some of the girls were too noisy when they got there. Our kidnappers used those young girls to teach us a lesson by raping them in front of us and killing them. " Chester widened his eyes in terror "They didn't do that to me, fortunately. But it felt like it... "

"How do you got away?" He was barely audible, his voice was too weak to talk.

"Well, they started to tie up only one of our legs to the bed. One of the girls had a bobby pin so I practiced while they were away. One of the night I freed myself, found a phone and call the police. I tried to tell them where I was, describing the environment around. Soon after I heard one of the men walking towards the other girls so I panicked and I ran away... When he saw me, he ran behind me and caught me easily. I fell on the floor and he fell on top of me and... started to do things... Like your friend did to you... But I was so terrified and I grabbed a piece of glass that I found on the floor and stabbed him on his eyes, on his neck, over and over again until he stayed still. I started to hear police sirens... I was saved... The other girls were saved."

"Did they caught the others kidnappers?"

"They did. They all died in prison. But I killed that man and even though I know it had to be done, I can't forget that moment..." I started sobbing uncontrollably, burying my face in my hands.

"You didn't save yourself only. You saved all the other girls... You were brave enough to save them."

"I know I saved them... But it haunts me every day... I was just this little girl. That's not supposed to happen."

He hugged me and whispered softly while he stroked my hair gently.

"Life is really fucked up, isn't it?"

I laughed between my sobs and agreed with him.

"How did you handled it all these years?"

"I went to therapy. But I didn't like it. It helped other girls, but not me... I handled fine I guess... But I don't get close to people... Especially not new neighbors that I met a few weeks ago." I smiled at him, locking my eyes in his.

"You truly are the most amazing woman I have ever met. And the strongest too... I'm glad I met you."

"Me too Chester..."

We remained hugged for quite some time until we let go and went inside, still holding hands.

The house was silent, the rest of the guys were all already on their bedrooms resting. We headed to the kitchen and Chester gave me some hot chocolate. We sat on his couch and we talked about personal things for hours until I peacefully fell asleep on his shoulder and he fell asleep on the pillow, hugging me, not wanting to let me go anywhere away from him.


	5. Chapter 5

I woke up very slowly and started to stretch my body as my eyes tried to open.

At first, I was confused - I definitely wasn't in my bed -, but then I started to remember the night before and how I must have fallen asleep on Chester's couch. The thing is, I wasn't on his couch, I was on a bed which wasn't mine. 

I opened my eyes and looked around me, trying to figure out where I was. I was in a medium size room with a king size bed with white smooth sheets. There were few items of furniture around but there were two guitars: a black electric one and a brown classic one.

 _This must be Chester's room... But I don't remember falling asleep here,_ I thought to myself, trying to remember how I got there.

I decided to get out of bed and immediately felt the cold floor under my bare feet. I looked around and found my shoes, which I put on and when I looked at the other side of the bed I saw someone sleeping on the floor.  _Chester_.

"What the hell? Chester?" I kneeled beside him and softly called for him, stroking lightly his cheek. He made an "HMMM" sound and I smiled but he didn't open his eyes. I called for him again. "Chester, why would you sleep on the floor?"

Finally, he opened his eyes, looked at me and smiled.

"Good Morning Cat. Did you sleep well?" He tried to get up but he groaned when he felt some pain on his back. I had my back turned to him, while I was picking up my shoes, missing his divine naked torso.

"I did. But you clearly didn't. Why did you sleep on the floor? And why was I on your bed?"

"Well, we fell asleep on the couch. I woke up in the middle of the night and I didn't have the guts to wake you up, so I carried you my bed and slept on the floor. I didn't want to scare you." He got up from the floor and let his body fall on the bed, moaning in pleasure as he felt the softness of his sheets.

"It's not like you were going to eat me. You should have slept on your bed Chester, look at your back now."

"I didn't want to disrespect you while you were sleeping." He looked at me with the kindest eyes I've ever seen. It melted me completely.

"You're a gentleman you know that?" He smiled proudly at me and I sat on the bed beside him. "Well, since you were a gentleman with me, let me thank you. Take a shower, I'm going home to do the same and to change these clothes and we're going to eat breakfast somewhere else. What do you think? If you don't have anything scheduled of course..." I asked him and blushed when he got up from the bed and dropped the sheets that were covering his body, showing his nude torso and his fine abs. He was only wearing some boxers so I could see almost all of his marvelous body. 

Although the room was dim, he noticed my flushed cheeks and a grin formed on the corner of his lips as he slowly approached me, but passed by me, nearly touching me with his torso.

"It sounds fine by me. I really need a shower." He said in a mocking tone.

I stood there staring longer than I wanted but I was snapped back to the world by him. 

"Cat?"

"Hm??? Yeah, ok, I'll go shower too. Uh, in my house. See ya." 

I stormed out of his house, cheeks redder than a red pepper and got ready in half an hour. I put on some denim shorts and a black top with some black sandals. When I was about to leave the house, Chester was already waiting for me at my doorstep.

"Did I kept you waiting?"

"No, I just arrived at your door."

He was wearing a blue t-shirt and some black pants and blue Nikes. Even though I was away from him I could smell his fresh perfume. Something about his scent made my stomach twist, my heart race, but at the same time, I felt relaxed and content. I must have been staring for too long when he spoke.

"Well, we're going or not? Where are you taking me?"

"You'll see." I rushed away from his sight since I was feeling my cheeks burn with the embarrassment. I didn't know whtat the hell was wrong with me, but I was acting very oddly around him.

I drove my car to a cozy tea shop by the sea. When we arrived it was almost 7.30AM so, it was almost empty. We took a table by the window, that had a great view over the beach and the sea. The waves were small and it was hot, so it should be a  _good_ _day at the_ _beach,_ I thought to myself.

"So, are you ok?" Chester asked me in a low and concerned voice.

"I am, why shouldn't I be?"

"About what you told me last night." I almost didn't remember about our vulnerable night, where we exposed all of our darkest secrets. I told him things that I never told anyone, our conversation went deeper than I wanted, but now that I think about it, I don't feel ashamed of it. I actually feel lighter, knowing he doesn't look at me differently. Knowing that he accepted my past.

"Oh... Yeah, I'm ok I guess." I smile weakly.

"What I meant was if you're ok with telling me all of that... I guess it can't be easy to talk about that stuff. I don't have much of a choice, everything about my personal life ends up on a shitty magazine or in Wikipedia" He sad with a sad face.

"Hey, I don't care what they think they know about you. I didn't know almost anything about you because I only cared about your music, not gossip or assumptions about your life by people don't even know a thing about you. Fortunately, I had the opportunity to meet you in flesh and I love every moment we spent together and I don't regret sharing with you my life battles. I don't care about what they write about you and I'm not even interested in reading any of that bullshit. And I really mean it."

He stared at me for a while with a mix of shock, amazement and something else I couldn't figure out, but he didn't say a word. Chester seemed to speechless and too lost in his thoughts to even say anything. 

The waitress came to us and asked what we wanted to order, but Chester continued mute, in an odd trance scanning my face.

"Cat ate your tongue uh? Anyway, what do you want for breakfast?" I asked him, snapping him back to reality.

"I... some toasts and an orange juice please..." When he finished his order, I made mine and the waitress left us. Then, a devilish smirk formed on his lips and I knew something crazy was going through his mind. "So... You love to spend time with me?"

I felt my face burn - nothing new around, right? - but decided to ignore the awkwardness I was feeling and I just nodded.

He stared at me for some time and finally spoke. "Me too... Sometimes too much."

"Too much? Why?" I furrowed my brows.

"Because, maybe I'm crazy, but when I'm with you I forget about everything else. My childhood, the drugs, the bad moments. When I'm with you... I exist for that moment, for that laugh of yours. And I know I can't be with you all the time, - you have your life, your family, your friends -, but I drive myself crazy when you're not around. And these days when I didn't reply to your messages it killed me inside. I don't know why I feel this, nor why I'm telling you this, but that's how I feel about you."

"Wow..." That was all I could reply before being interrupted by the waitress. She gave us our breakfast, placing the juices and the toasts on the table, along with different kinds of jams. Thank God for her, it gave me time to process what Chester just told me. I must be crazy to think that his feelings were more than mere friendship... Mustn't I?

"You must think I'm a freak -- or mad. I only know you for some weeks and I'm already having these kinds of feelings."

"No... I don't think that... It's just... You caught me by surprise." I tried not to be too harsh on him, but I actually didn't know what else to say. 

"I'm sorry," Chester said looking down to his hands resting on his lap.

"Don't say you're sorry. It's fine by me." I smiled very weakly, trying to convince him I was fine, when in fact, I was not.

The rest of the breakfast was awkwardly silent with occasional trade of looks between Chester and I. And when we finished it, I proposed a walk on the beach. 

The sand was thin and soft and warm. I looked down as my feet left marks on the floor, only to be washed away by the salty sea of the Atlantic Ocean. The waves were soft but very very cold - I mean, really, it's the fucking ice age whenever it washed my feet - but the contrast with the hot sand was pleasant. The sea breeze always manages to calm down my thoughts whenever I'm in trouble and suddenly everything that's been happening with Chester was lighter and I was finally ready to speak what was troubling my complicated mind.

But Chester anticipated and talked first.

"I hope this doesn't make things weird between us."

"Of course not Chester," I told him honestly.

"So, why are you so quiet and distant?" He placed himself in front of me, blocking my way. I stopped looking at him in the eyes and sighed. 

"It's not because of what you said... It's just... Tomorrow is the anniversary of my rescue. 11 years. It was 11 years ago and I'm still haunted by it every day. Sometimes... I wish that everything disappears. The pain. The guilty. It's too much sometimes, Chester."

Chester didn't say a word. I guess he was looking for the right words. He sat on the sand and I mimicked him. After a while, after a trillion of thoughts race through my head, he pulled me to his arms so he could hug me. And that gesture made me cry as I buried my head on his chest and inhaled his scent.

"You're ok now... You grew up to a beautiful brave woman. You're kind and amazing. You have your dream job, you have a good family and..." He gulped. "... you have me now. You can rely on me and I promise I will be with you everytime you need me."

I didn't reply. 

Just cried.

 But this time I wasn't crying because of my past, I was crying because of my present and my future. Here I was, a broken girl that couldn't trust anyone and, consequently, don't have any friends nor any kind of relationship.

And now, was letting in this new man be in my life, who also has a dark past - and clearly has feelings for me. The most inscrutable thing was that I have feelings for him too. 

But we have to be real, eventually, he's gonna have to leave. He's going to get better and he's going back on tour and he will forget me or he's going to know some new fancy lady and we'll be over soon. The things he said to me felt so fucking good, but I know I'll get hurt... And even though I knew that I felt the same way!

Why was I letting him in if I knew that? Fuck, I want him, but I can't do that to myself.

"I wanna go home..." I got up still crying and sobbing and started walking away from where we were sitting.

"What? Why? Did I say something wrong?"

"No... I just... I can't do this... I can't let this go any longer, Chester..." I tried not to look at him, scared that if I did, I would give in and go back to his arms.

"Cat, I'm sorry. I didn't want to scare you. I'm so sorry." He tried to apologize, but I walked away, heading for the car.

Without saying a word, I let him get out of the car when I stopped right in front of his house and quickly went away, away from his sight, away from his touch.

For days, I drowned in my own sorrow, battling inside if I should talk to him or not; battling if I should give in to my heart, or not. So I did what I did all my life: closed myself inside my room, crying and pitying myself until there were no more tears left to cry.

And whenever I read Chester's messages, I cried harder.

CHESTER:  _Cat, I'm sorry if I said something wrong. I won't try anything, I just want to have you in my life._  
CHESTER:  _Please, talk to me... I can't handle this... I want you to be happy Cat. Forgive me for my fool feelings... I know you don't feel the same but I promise I won't try anything. Just want to talk to you... Please_  
ME:  _I need space Chester... You're the first person ever that I let in... I don't want to get hurt anymore. Please, let me be._  
CHESTER:  _I will... But I won't go anywhere. I won't let you push me away. Please, talk to me when you're better... please..._  
ME:  _Goodnight Chester_  
CHESTER:  _Goodnight Cat_

I cried myself to sleep every night. I couldn't shake this feeling away that somehow he's going to get better and he'll no longer need to be here, to be with me. I know, I know, it's selfish. And I was hurting him. But what the hell am I supposed to do?

If I let this continued and he leaves, I'll be broken forever and then, there will be no turning back.

What should I do?


	6. Chapter 6

I tried to take Chester off my head the next days. I only replied to a few messages from him, asking me how was I or telling me about his therapy sessions, but I didn't talk to him in flesh. It was hard -  _Fuck, it was god damn hard_  -, but I didn't know better. 

It's been two weeks since I last saw Chester. I tried to keep my distance from his house, even if I hear them playing, singing or just drinking beers at the moonlight. However, that distance had to be cut short when I heard my bell rang and I saw it was Mike.

"Hey, you."

"Hi Cat" He greeted with two kisses "Can we talk?"

"Yeah, sure." I already knew what he wanted to talk, of course.

"Look, I'm gonna go straight to the point... Chester... he is a mess right now... You probably already know what happened to him. When we got him here he was fucking drowning in his madness... His life is... fucked up and you have no idea how. But when he met you, something in him changed... I've never seen him happier in my entire life... It was all because of you. And I don't know what happened and I really don't need to know, but right now, he is a mess again without you. Please, just talk to him."

"Mike... I get it. You're concerned with him. Believe me, I am too. But I can't do this... We were getting each other into a crazy rollercoaster of emotions. And that's very nice but one day, when he gets better, you'll go back to your life. And then what? Where would be my place in that life, uh?"

"Look. If there's one thing I've learned with all Chester's shitty situation is that we create demons if we dwell in our past or plan too much our future all the time. You won't get to live in the present. Just, please, go see him when you're ready. He needs you. He needs you more than he needs me, or the guys, or even music."

"I don't wanna get hurt, Mike." I honestly spoke from my heart and was shocked by his reply.

"Yeah? Well, right now you're hurting yourself and Chester. Think about that fucking shit."

He turned his back to go home, leaving me speechless. I hesitated for a while, thoughts spinning in my head, but was able to speak to him in time.

"Is he home right now?"

"No. He had an extra appointment with his therapist because of this mess between you too. We didn't want him to do anything stupid so we scheduled an appointment!"

"Oh... ok..."

He looked at my sad face, sighed in despair, and placed his both hands on my shoulders in a delicate way.

"Look, I get it. You're scared. We all are... But don't let fear take away good moments like you were having with him... Talk to him about your fears... And in case you're interested, tonight we're having some friends at our house for a small party. They're meeting the country, so we decided to introduce some of the traditional beverages and food at our house. You're invited. 8.00PM." He hugged me and whispered "And bring that red dress of yours. Chester couldn't shut up about the way you looked in that dress." And then he disappeared.

I was apprehensive about this. I should be by Chester's' side if that's what makes me happy. But still, I don't know what to do if he goes away and leaves me. But one thing Mike's right: I need to talk to him.

The first thing I did was looking for that dress that he loved so much and then I went for a shower - a long shower. Long enough to get wrinkles in my fingers and long enough to let me think about what I should do next. As soon as my mind was set, I got ready and waited until 8 PM to get out of the house and go to Chester's. Before knocking on the door, I took my phone and sent a message to Chester.  
ME:  _I heard you liked my red dress._

I got a reply almost instantly from Chester:  
CHESTER:  _What??_  
ME:  _Open the front door_

And I waited some seconds until the door starts to open gradually and the noisy living room could be heard. I saw Chester eyes' gleaming at me up and down while he gulped.

"You're here."

"Yeah, I'm here. I got an invitation" I grinned slightly at him. "May I come in?"

"Of course" He cleared the way so I could enter.

"CAT. Oh, CAT! You're here. I was just telling our friends that you were Chester's matching competitor at PES." Mike said with an enormous grin on his face. He introduced me to their friends while Chester quietly watched us from a chair he was sitting in the corner.

"Oh, it was nothing really. Chester is not that hard to beat". I giggled.

"Yey! I heard that." He complained, but his eyes were twinkling with anticipation.

"Then you know it's true," I smirked at him. "Excuse me" I turned to his friends and then back to Chester. "First of all, Chester, can we talk?"

He froze looking at me but agreed slowly before standing up and walking to his room, where I followed him. Walking through those corridors gave me goosebumps and I felt my body trembling, but I managed to stay strong for him. I closed the door behind me and leaned against it. I closed my eyes and sighed - _this is it._

"I'm so, so sorry Chester..."

"No... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said the things I've said." He sat on his bed but I remained leaning against the door.

"I got scared, Chester... I -- knowing you was the best thing that ever happened to me... When you talked about everything that happened to you and the way I let you in so easily, scared the shit out of me..."

"I didn't mean to... I'm sorry Cat."

"You did nothing wrong, Chester. I did. I was selfish. I should have talked to you. I was... am scared that if I let this thing between us go any longer and one day you leave this place and get back to your life I would be alone. Heartbroken. Again."

He looked at me confused and I sighed once again - I've been doing a lot of that lately.

"After the police found me, I went through some hard time growing up. I didn't trust anyone and-- I guess I'm still like that. I never had a crush or a boyfriend until I met this guy at high school. He was so cute and gentle with me and I started to have feelings for him. People knew what happened to me, - at least what was told on the news -, but he didn't mind. Or so I thought. I was a part of a bet he had with his friends. He was supposed to make me date him and lose my virginity with him. One of his friends didn't like the way they were treating me and told me in secret. I felt so humiliated and used and dirty because I wanted to have sex with him. I wanted to be a normal girl, you see? I know... I know it's stupid. I curse myself every day for wanting it. But I never ever let anyone in my life since then. And then, I met you..." I cleaned my tears away and continued. "I wanted to be with you so badly. I thought I was a fool for having feelings for you in such a short period of time. But it felt so right... And when you told me how you felt about me, I -- panicked."

I observed his expression while I was telling him my story. Somehow he seemed sad or guilt. His face was dark, full of sorrow and I couldn't bear to look at him like that.

"When I told you I push people away, you have no idea how good I am at that." I muffled a laugh and for the first time, he looked me in the eyes since we entered his room. "I am scared that one day you'll leave and you'll get back to your world, without me. I'll be hurt and broken again. I don't want to be left alone... That's why I ran away from you..."

"I thought you pushed me away because you didn't feel the same... Cat, I would never leave you alone. I would never hurt you like that..." He got up from the bed and approached me, with his hands on his chest and his eyes pleading for mercy.

"But you're not gonna stay here forever."

"Who cares about that right now? I want to be with you, to enjoy what we have or what we could have and when the time comes we'll think of a solution. But I need to have you in my life, Cat." He cupped my face with his hands "I want you."

"Me too, Chester..."

We looked into each other's' eyes for some time until Chester wiped a tear away from my face and pulled me to a comforting hug. I let myself sink into his embrace where I felt safe for the first time in my life. He touched me so gently since the very beginning, even without knowing my full story. And that's one of the reasons I felt so at peace around him.

Chester planted soft kisses in my head and we stayed like that for a long time. I wanted it to last longer but he pulled me away from me a little so he could look me in the eyes.

"I am scared too, Cat... Uh... My head can be... wicked with me..."

"What do you mean?" I studied intensively his eyes expecting to somehow read them.

"My life is so fucked up. What if I'm not enough for you? What if you don't want to deal with my fucking problems? Or what if they start to affect your life too? I don't know what I wou--"

I interrupted him with a soft kiss on his lips with my eyes closed and he froze. 

He wasn't expecting that at all. Chester felt like all the problems of the world were gone, just like that. As if that was his true heaven. For once, it occurred his bright mind that he could be just having a pleasant dream that he would soon wake up from.

But when my lips met his - once again -, he woke up from his trance and put a hand behind my head, kissing me back. Our mouths opened slowly, our tongues touched each other and swung in sync. At that moment I didn't feel anything, think of anything - I just let myself be beguiled with his divine tongue. The kiss was delicate but full of longing. He pushed me slowly against the door, one hand still intertwined in my hair and the other resting on my waist, pulling me closer against his body. My hands explored his back, pulling him toward me as I ached for more contact with his body.

We had to stop for a moment to catch our breath and soon after we resumed the kiss. This time it was stronger, more aggressive and wilder. My hands moved by themselves under his dark green t-shirt, to feel his warm skin for the first time. One of his hands began to wander my body as if to confirm that I was real. 

Between those cheeky hands, Chester began to feel some hard inside his pants and when things started getting hotter I began to slow down to prevent that from moving forward too much. Being with him that way was great, I didn't want to rush something I did not even know if I could do.

"You taste so good Cat..."

"I could do this forever" I kissed him again, slowly and softly.

"Tell me I'm not dreaming... Tell me this is happening..." He had his eyes closed and his brows furrowed as if he was making a wish.

"I'm here, look."

I grabbed his hand and put them in on my face. He closed his eyes, leaning his forehead against mine and we stayed like that for quite some time when he finally broke the silence.

"I don't want to think about the future, about any problems, I just want to stay like this forever..." 

"Me too... Don't go away from me... Please."

 "I'm not going anywhere. I'm happy here, with you."

We ended up sitting on the bed, talking about everything that was happening to us, occasionally kissing each other until we need to stop to catch our breaths. We agreed that we would keep the things between us in secret for some time. That means when we got out of the room we were just friends, not lovers.

And so it was. We calmed down a little and left the room with the most serene faces possible. I approached Mike, who was very attentive to me and Chester, but I did not give him any information. I just smirked in a devilish way.

The party went well. I tried not to look at Chester for a long time because I would just start to smile like a maniac, so I tried to focus on the conversations I was having with their friends.

They came all the way from California and met at the beginning of Linkin Park, in a Californian music producer. Since then, they have always been in touch and were close friends. After a while talking about their adventures together, I felt wanted there, like I was finally part of something. Like I could have a normal life. And that moment I felt the happiest person in the world.

However, I noticed one of the girls seemed to want to be  _more than Chester's friend_. Sometimes she was too cheeky, keeping eye contact with Chester and even attempting physical contact with him. - In one of those moments she almost sat on his lap. I laughed a little when I saw him fumbling, looking at me, but I understood the girl was not to be trusted around him. Of course, she was blaming alcohol for her attitude but it didn't seem to me that she drank enough to act that way. I tried not to think about it too much, otherwise, I would start creating demons in my head.

So, when the clock marked one in the morning, I decided to go home. Chester offered his company, even though I lived right next door. Rolling my eyes I nodded him to follow me and son after we were finally alone.

"What party, huh?" He said as we walked very slowly.

"Yeah. They're fun, those friends of yours," I stated.

"They're nice, yeah."

"But that girl ... Thabita ... Was she drunk or is she always like that?" I really tried not to talk about it, but hey, fuck it.

"She was not that drunk." He laughed and looked down as if there was something going through his mind that moment and we didn't want to share it with me.

"What's up with that girl, then?"

"Uh, she ... she's just a little ... nuts?"

I laughed a little, but I was not very convinced by his explanation, I smelled a rat. But considering how my mind usually betrays me and leave me paranoid I let it go.

"Now, what was the story of how I like to see you in that dress?" He asked.

"Is that a lie?"

"No. That dress fits you... too well ..." He sighed as if trying to contain some animal instinct that made him want to rip off my dress. "But who told you?"

"Maybe someone had a conversation with me telling me that someone didn't shut up when they first saw me in this dress."

"Mike ... Remind me to give him a gift for bringing you to me ... You were the best thing that happened to me, you know?" He pulled me a deep hug when we reached my main door.

"I know." I laughed in his face and filled him with kisses before saying goodnight and entering the house.

I went to bed with a smile plastered on my face. But I smiled, even more, when I received an SMS from him:

CHESTER:  _You're a fantastic woman, you know? I've never met anyone like you. And nobody ever had this effect that you have on me. You are my saving angel. Thank you, honey._  
ME:  _Thank you for the smile that you put on my face and for the way you warm my heart. And I'm sorry, I know I'm hard to understand, but I don't even understand myself sometimes. But you know that I really, really like you. I mean it._  
CHESTER:  _Are you hard to understand? Haha, say that to my fucking head. I have a puzzle inside my head and I'm missing a piece. I think... Maybe you are that missing piece... :)_  
ME:  _Maybe. Hope so. See you tomorrow Chester. Have a good night and sweet dreams.  
CHESTER:  _You too Cat ... See you tomorrow;)__

And so I fell asleep peacefully, with a warm heart and with the hope that I had made the right decision. At that moment there were no evil thoughts, no fears - only happiness -, and that was enough for now.


	7. Chapter 7

The next days we tried to be careful so the rest of his friends didn't find out about us. 

We were also taking things slowly. Chester continued with his therapy sessions and when they were hard he would knock on my door and would sit on my bedroom floor, holding me on his arms, silent and occasionally kissing my head. He poured out his own demons, fears, and nightmares, and I always tried to unravel the mysteries behind his unconscious. Helping him decipher the maze built inside his mind.

I also started talking more about my past and what I've been through in the last few years.  And after weeks of those confident sessions, I ended up showing my tights. My scars. They were innumerable and indistinguishable since some were made when I was held hostage and others were auto-inflicted.

"Sometimes physical pain could calm psychological pain. I tried to handle this, but sometimes I just... can't withstand it."

Chester dared to touch very lightly on my thighs, feeling the design of the scars, and making me shiver as soon as I felt his touch. The automatic reflex was to move his fingers away from me much to his shock. We eyed each other for some time, not knowing what to do. His eyes fell back to my tights, scanning the maks of my miserable life.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you..." I whispered, ashamed of the way I've been dealing with the painful memories. I tried to live my life as a normal woman. I really tried. And when it was too much for me to pretend to be happy, I inflicted physical pain. It actually worked. But when I was done, I felt like trash and cursed myself for doing it, swearing that I would never act that way again. 

Well, I always fail the promise.

"Hey!" He lifted my chin with his finger, making me look him in the eyes. "I'm not disappointed. Why would I?"

"For what I've done to myself over the years. You have no idea of how ashamed I am for doing this to myself." My vision was blurred because of the tears and when Chester's' hand cupped my cheek and I finally felt his warm skin on mine, they stroll down my eyes like a waterfall.

"You shouldn't be. You're a fighter. And a winner. After everything you've through, you are still standing. You're an amazing woman and that's why I love you so much.

And that was the first time Chester told me he loves me. He also didn't expect such words to come out of his mouth - especially on a moment like that -, nor did he regret saying them. Too overwhelmed by his words I just pulled him closer and kissed him without saying anything else.

It had been a few months since we both decided to give ourselves a chance.

And we've been really good at keeping it a secret.

I don't know how we managed to do that, really. Mike seemed suspicious every once in a while, but nothing we said would denounce us, no sir. We kept our rehearsed speech in which we said we're  _only good friends._

We would often see the sunset on a deserted beach. I took him to various places in the country, to meet several famous monuments and eat several delicious foods. We spent lots of time alone at home, and while he played instruments, wrote songs or sang, I just had fun with him and tried to give him ideas for new sounds.

Our relationship was perfect. 

Until that night. That fucking night. 

We were alone playing PES. I won more games than he did and he was getting impatient. 

In the last game, we had to do move to penalties kicks to break the tie.

He wanted to win at all costs and then started tickling me. I squirmed on the sofa and tried to defend his goals, and - damn, I'm really good at this - I managed to defend it every with tickles. Then, Chester lay practically on top of me stop me from scoring the goal that would give me the victory. But, - once again -, he failed miserably and I won that game. Without getting off of me, he put the PS controller down and pinned my arms above my head as he tried to tickle me with his mouth on my neck. It made me laugh, but it also gave me a shiver in my spine and heat at different spots in my body. 

I tried to get free of his grip but was laughing so hard that I couldn't even move properly.

"That's cheating Chester" I giggled.

"That was the idea. What a little brat you are." He stopped looking at me.

"Why? Because I beat the crap out of you?"

"You think you're in a position to mock me, young girl?"

"What you're gonna do about it?"  _And I had to ask, genius._

Chester's' expression changed completely from an entertainment gaze to a darker one, even dangerous. His shiny brown eyes were completely dark, filled with something wild and even sultry. I felt his breathing uneven when he connected his lips to mine, looking for pleasure inside my mouth, as he kept my arms pinned above my head.

At first, even though his kiss was full of longing, he kept his gentle touch, kissing me slowly and softly. My heart was pounding really fast inside my chest and I felt some kind of electricity running every inch of my skin. My body was betraying me, aching for his touch, as both our hips started rubbing on each other.

Chester moaned in my mouth and intensified his kiss, in a more demanding way. He was losing control and he knew it. But he still let his hands wander my body, caressing slowly every inch of skin exposed - my arms, chest, waist - until he reached for the edge of my light pink t-shirt. Without thinking twice, his hand slowly pulled it up, enough to make his way up my belly, feeling my skin getting hotter by the minute.

"Chest..."I tried to tell him to stop but my mouth betrayed me, letting escape a moan.

He didn't notice my slight discomfort when he was rubbing himself wilder between my legs. Even though my mind was asking me to stop it, that I couldn't do it, between my legs it's a whole different story. I felt a wet sensation between my legs, something that I haven't felt for a long time and my body tried to keep up with his horny behavior. 

When his cheeky hand reached for my bra, he squeezed one of my breasts, moaning as he felt my skin. Pulling the bra down, he was now cupping fully my breast and squeezed it harder, playing with the sensitive nipple.

He closed his eyes as he felt my soft skin on his hand but when he opened them again and looked at me he froze and ceased any movement immediately. When he saw my panic expression, he understood:  _he went too far._

"I'm so sorry, Cat. He tried to apologize, getting off of me and helping me to a sitting position.

"I can't do this to you. I can't be with you, Chester." I buried my head in my hands, pulling my hair back.

"Don't say that." Chester tried to soothe me and tried to pull me to a hug but I flinched back. "Look, I won't try anything you don't want to. We'll follow your own pace. I won't rush anything. You only do what you are comfortable with, nothing more. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I got carried away... But please, don't leave me because of this, Cat." 

His eyes were pleading me to stay with him and I couldn't deny the feelings I had inside my heart.

So, I stayed. 

But we both knew things were about to get harder as we try to take this step forward in our relationship. For the next weeks, we didn't go further than kisses, rubbing bodies or squeezing my breasts. He would stop himself when he was losing control and I know how hard it has been for him.

When we tried again to go further I ruined things once again... Chester was being too patient with me and I was grateful for that. But even though he told he would wait for me as long as needed, I started to notice his discomfort with my behavior. 

One day I showed up at his house, David let me in with a wide smile on his face and I walked over to Chester's' door. I knocked on it and heard noises inside but no one opened the door. So I knocked once again and suddenly Chester opened it slowly and peeked only with his head.

"May I come in or your gonna stand there holding the door?" I asked curiously.

"Sure... sure, come in."

I entered the room and it was empty. Nothing seemed out of order, so I had no idea why it took him so long to open the door, nor why he was clumsy walking in his room.

Scanning the room, my eyes fell on his bed. His phone was there, one of the pictures he used to take me showing on his screen; there was a bottle with some kind of lotion; and some folded napkins. I'm not stupid. I noticed his huge bulge in his pants as soon as I walked in, despite his attempts to hide it.

In the back of my mind, I laughed so hard but I kept my face serious and innocent. So I decided to mock him. I sat on his bed, arms behind me to support my weight while I leaned on them and watch him with the most neutral facial expression.

"What were you doing?"

"Nothing." He coughed uncomfortably and moved on his seat. "What are you doing here?"

"I CAME to see my boyfriend" I made sure to use a mocking tone and let my body fall back on the bed laughing out loud. 

"Ha-ha very funny." Chester looked down as if he was a little kid about to get scolded.

"Were you doing what I think you were doing?"

He nodded with his face still looking down to his pants and to still hard erection. Chester has always been a gentleman with me, never doing more than I let him. But he is still a man, he still had needs he needed to satisfy and he felt that way was the best way to do it - _thinking in me._ And somehow when I saw everything he felt guilty for not wait for me.

After a few moments of silence, I was snapped back to the world.

"Keep doing what you were doing."

"What?" For the first time since I entered his room, he was actually looking me in the eyes. He opened his mouth in surprise for what I just asked him.

"Resume what I interrupted... please?" I asked.

"Cat... You don't need to watch this. I know this makes you uncomfortable."

"There's a woman on your bed asking you to masturbate yourself and  you hesitate." I muffled a laugh but then became serious, without taking my eyes off him. "Taking small steps forward, ok? I want to watch you." And since he didn't even move, I asked him one more time. "Please?"

Chester considered the request for a while and without saying any word, he unzipped his pants and took his dick out, grabbing it with his right hand. I couldn't help but let my eyes fall down to his lap, where he started rubbing his erection with his lotion.

I saw a mix of emotions in his body: he didn't know what to do, he was clearly turned on but shocked by my request. So he continued rubbing his dick up and down with firm movements, eyes never leaving my face and he had his body trembling with excitement. The whole scenario was more than arousing and before I knew it, my hand landed on his erection and I started to rub it myself. As soon as he felt my hand mimicking his movements he took his hands of his dick and let me give him pleasure. Since I didn't know what I was doing I tried not to tighten my grip too much and rubbed it just like he was doing before. Feeling cheeky, my hand explored different movements, directions, and paces and even teased the tip, making a moan escape his mouth.

Without taking my eyes off him, I was trying to read his facial expression, to see what kind of movements he liked more. And as only pleasure could be seen on his face I fasten the movements and the grip, as Chester trembled on the bed.

"Jesus... Fuck... Cat..." He kept moaning.

"You want me to go faster?" I asked as I felt his body trembling even more.

"Yes, baby..."

I fasten my movement and soon after I felt his cock hardening in my hand. I knew he was about to cum and that made me squeeze my hand a little more and increase the speed. He started to groan louder and when I saw his white cream coming out of his tip he immediately handed me a napkin to stop me from making a mess.

I slowed down my movements but kept rubbing him until the last drop. 

And when I finished, he was panting, trembling and trying to speak, but only whispered and"Oh god", or "fuck", or "Cat" could be heard. I picked up the napkins and started to clean my hands and his dick. He watched me very attentively, still recovering from the orgasm without saying a word. When I finished I threw the dirty napkins in the dustbin he had in the room right next to his desk and I lay beside him on the bed watching him - his cheeks were crimson red and he was sweating.

"You're perfect you know that?" He kissed the tip of my nose.

"I didn't know what I was doing... That was a first for me..." I blushed a little.

"Beginner's' luck, then." He smiled.

I smiled shyly at him, but then became serious. "And you don't need to hide from me." 

"You could be mad at me." He looked down.

"For what?" I made him look at me. "I'm not capable of giving you pleasure and, yet, you were trying to jerk off to pictures of me." He wasn't capable of saying a word and looked ashamed. "That's somehow... sweet" I smiled at him and he finally smiled back.

"Would I be authorized to return the favor?"

"I don't know Chester..." He closed his eyes trying not to show his sadness - he wanted so badly to give me pleasure, to be the first to show me how intimate two lovers can be just by giving into each other desires.  "But trust me, this gave me a lot of pleasure... Looking at you that way... That's something I won't forget... And maybe next time we will switch roles."

He hugged me and planted a kiss on the top of my head.

"You really are amazing. And I love you."

I smiled to his gesture - but, yet, I didn't say those three magic words.


	8. Chapter 8

Chester and I have been dating in secret for months. Like three or four months without telling anyone about us. Not even Mike, the most caring person I've ever met. He thought our relationship odd, but we decided not to tell anyone until we were sure of what was happening.

Besides, we couldn't forget the fact that they are a famous international band. Their fans must be dying for news and even though Chester was way better than he was when he came to Portugal, there was still a long way to go. I knew it. He knew it. 

So we kept everything quiet.

Obviously, eventually, some of the members started to travel more often, working on new projects or visiting their families. 

And often Chester would be alone if it wasn't for me.

"How can you work here without melting all day? I'm melting already and I've been here for five minutes." Chester stated and laughed as a dog licked his face. That day I didn't want him to be alone in his house since everyone was away, so I took him with me to my veterinary hospital.

"You get used to it." I checked the cages where there were several dogs resting. Due to several diseases, they had to make chemotherapy and they needed to rest. So I shushed Chester and kept checking the dogs.

"This is really the job for you," Chester stated when I showed him the cats' area. I lift a brow at him but continued checking the medicine of the poor creatures. Some of them were agitated, they don't usually like unknown people around. He continued. "Animals kinda sense good people and bad people. And for what I've seen, they love you."

"Well, I make them feel better and give them food and water. They better love me." I winked.

"I know I do." He barely whispered, his eyes focused on the way my body moved carefully while I checked the little white rabbit on the last cage, then he was lost in his thoughts.

I tried not only to be his girlfriend, but also his best friend. I worry about him every minute I'm not with him and part of me wanted to be with him all the time. Yet, I was still having a hard time letting someone new in - I was working on that.

Mike knew how close we were and even though he was worried about his friend, he trusted me. So, one day he knocked on my door before leaving Portugal for a trip back to his homeland.

"This is for you." He said.

He handed me a Linkin Park keychain -  _how original_ \- with a key attached. I held it in the air and raised a brow at him with a puzzled look. He grinned and explained why he was giving me a key.

"It's your neighbor's house key. You know... Chester can be too lonely sometimes. I've been avoiding letting him alone, but for the next weeks, I'm not going to be able to do so. So I'm giving you a key to check on Chester in case anything happens or just if you want to surprise him." He winked and smiled weakly. And even though he was showing a smile, I knew there was something else.

"You don't trust him alone yet, do you?"

Mike tilted his head to the side as if he wanted to say "NO" but instead he said with a sad smile on his face. 

"Chester needs a company to be good again. And you're his favorite company." He winked.

"I'll watch him. Don't worry".

I smiled and watched Mike turning around and leave. Something about that gesture got me worried. Chester has been telling me about his therapy sessions and how good he was going, but knowing that Mike didn't trust him alone in the house created lots of demons inside my head.

 _Is Chester down again? Ain't I helping him?_  

Anyway, I wouldn't use the key if it wasn't really necessary. I trust Chester and I need him to feel that.

In the following weeks, the band organized a great party with friends from all over the world, from different cultures. They came back from their holidays with their families for a week, too much excited about that party. And even though Chester and Mike refused to organize the party, they did it anyway, saying  _It's Christmas! We always celebrate Christmas with friends!_

"I don't know, maybe I'm getting too old for this kind of parties," Chester confessed to me while we were sitting on his porch, blanket warming us up in that cold winter night. "When I think of Christmas, I think about family. A big dinner with all the loved ones. Not people we only see twice in a year that only want an excuse to get drunk."

"My Christmas are always great. I have dinner with my family, exchange gifts, play Monopoly or any other game and shoot fireworks. Of course, it's even better now that my brothers have children." 

"It's been a while since I had a Christmas eve like that." He whispered, lowering his gaze to the floor.

We remained silent for a while. My heart was tight inside my chest feeling sad for Chester. He above all people deserved better. He did nothing wrong to be like this, and if there was something that I could do to help him, I wouldn't even look back.

"Spend the Christmas with me and my family," I told him without thinking twice.

"What?" He lifted his teary eyes, glowing right at me.

"Have dinner with me and my family. I know it's not the same as a family of yours - my family is full of flaws -, but it's the best I can offer."

He stared. He just stared.

And I smiled, pulling him to a deep hug.

"You don't know how much you mean to me." He stated, sobbing uncontrollably while I held him tight against my chest. "I don't deserve you."

"It is I who don't deserve you." I kissed the top of his head and rocked him in my arms, humming a lullaby my mother used to sing me when I was little.

****

The party was only a few hours away when Chester knocked on my door. 

"Hey there, rockstar," I hugged him and invited him in.

He was acting a little strange but I didn't ask him anything about it. Instead, I guided to my room where I was reading a Norse Mythology book. I closed the book and lay on my bed and he mimicked me.

"Are you alright, Chester?"

"I... had a crazy nightmare and I had to see you." He gulped and sighed.

I turned my body around to face him and he just turned his head, fighting hard his tears.

"What to tell me about it?"

He just nodded "no", a tear betraying him and strolling down his cheek.

With my thumb, I carefully wiped that tear away, stroking his cheek gently before placing a kiss on his lips. He closed his eyes as he felt my touch and part of him was fighting his urge to take me that moment.

So his body started shaking and pulled my body close to his.

He finally let his body wander my body in a slow and gentle way, feeling my skin under my shirt. I knew Chester needed that contact; to feel the warmth of my skin; to feel me. That's why I allowed him to move his fingers along my belly, down to my the edge of my pants.

Chester couldn't control himself any longer, so he just connected his lips with mine, his tongue finding his home inside my mouth. He bit my lower lip gently, making me shiver under his touch. And feeling that, made him go further down, under my pants until he felt the fabric of my panties.

He broke the kiss, looking me in the eyes. His dark brown shiny eyes were now full of tears, piercing my soul with his intense stare. It almost looked like he was pleading me as his cheeky hand started to go under my panties and further down.

"I need you, so badly." He whispered, his forehead resting against my forehead. And since I didn't protest of flinch, his fingers finally met my folds, making him moan as soon as he felt them all wet. "I could make you happy..." He started spreading my juice all over my folds, gently rubbing my clit in a circular motion. "If only you let me feel you."

All I could do was moan almost silently, and feel a burning sensation wherever he touched.

"Chester..." I gasped, too weak to even say a proper sentence. You would think I wanted to stop what he was doing, but my mind was too intoxicated with pleasure that I couldn't even move away. I wanted him. More than anything.

Right by my side, Chester' erection was twitching and getting hard.

"Give in to me, Cat." He whispered in my ear, kissing my neck and biting it gently.

Slowly, he was crawling on top of me, always making sure I wanted him to continue. And since there was no fear in my eyes, he parted took his hand off my panties and placed his body in the middle of legs, his mouth kissing all the way down to my chest.

"You're so beautiful." He whispered, looking at me. "If only you could see yourself the way I see you." And he started rubbing his hard erection between my legs, provoking a hot sensation with the friction.

My hands were freely rubbing his back, slowly pulling his dark blue shirt up, exposing his tattoed torso. When his shirt finally met the floor, his eyes finally met mine, lust gleaming through his dark orbs.

I couldn't bear the distance from his lips, so both my hands grabbed his back and pulled him back to me, back to my lips. And his hands traveled down my body until they found the button of my pants.

Both of us were panting, hearts racing with excitement, a smiles plastered on our faces. He finally unbuttoned my pants and pulled away from my lips to pull them down. And right before he started taking them off, we heard a key on the keyhole.

"It must be my mother," I whispered in despair and frustrated.

Chester buttoned my pants back and in a quick movement had his shirt on, sat on the bed with a pillow hiding his erection and a fake smile hiding his disappointment. 

"Come on in," I said after she knocked on my door.

She just entered the room and greeted us, before closing the door and leave us alone again.

We glared at each other, faces reddened and breathing uneven.

"I should go now," Chester said jumbled with his still hard erection, hands trying to hide it. And before I could say a word, he fleed the room and left me alone, panting and flushed.

***

During the party, Chester didn't approach me very often. He greeted me with a smile when I arrived at his home, but he didn't stay by my side to talk like we used to do.

Instead, he stayed on the other corner of the living room, chatting with some friends, while Tabitha kept approaching him all night. And he didn't even tell her to fuck off - he just stayed there, laughing whenever she said something stupid and often glanced at me with a bored expression.

When people started dancing to the sound of the stupid "Despacito" I had enough. I grabbed a whiskey bottle and started to fill my cup, drinking it dry, with no ice. Then I turned to Tequilla and many other drinks until I almost couldn't walk in a straight line. 

"Hey, are you ok?" Mike asked me with a worried smile.

"I am, thank you very much," I answered, glancing to Chester and Tabitha dancing by the corner of my eyes. She was almost grinding on him, but as much as he stepped back, she didn't let go of him.

"Come, let's get some air." Mike hugged me and guided me to the back porch. The night was cold and I shivered immediately. "Feeling better?"

I looked at Mike and nodded, feeling my head still dizzy.

"You don't drink much do you?" He asked with a mocking expression.

"No. I don't know what gave into me tonight." I confessed.

"Don't worry. You're doing fine." He sighed and whispered. "But don't drink your problems away. It doesn't work that way."

I nodded and turned around to go back inside the room.

Chester was now playing PES and Tabitha was in the kitchen with the girls, chatting. I joined them hearing their conversation. And that made me drink even more that night. She kept on bragging about her and Chester relationship and how they were close since childhood and how their relationship evolved to something more intimate. I kept my mouth closed, biting my lower lip, while I kept filling up my cup with all kinds of drinks.

In the middle of the party, Mike whispered something in Chester's' ear and after that, Chester didn't take his eyes off me with a worried expression.

And after a while, he got up from his seat and approached me, pulling me gently by my arm and guiding me to his bedroom.

As soon as we entered his room, I pushed him against the door and kissed him savagely, not giving him a chance to speak. He kissed me back, obviously, and his hands started wandering the curves of my hips and my back, pulling me closer to him.

We broke the kiss to catch our breaths and Chester finally managed to speak.

"Hey, baby... what gave into you?"

I didn't answer. I just started pulling his shirt up and off and dropped it on the floor. I began to kiss his torso as he leaned against the wooden-door and planted kisses from his neck down to his pants.

Even though he thought my behavior was odd, Chester couldn't deny how aroused he was by my wild behavior. And as expected, when I got on my knees, his shaft was huge, his erection pulsating to be released.

My hands started loosening his belt automatically, but I was stopped by his on other pair of hands that pulled me up to the level of his dark eyes.

"Cat, what are you doing?"

"Can't you see? I'm trying to give you what you want."

I tried to go back down but he stopped me, closed his eyes and sighed, his head banging back against the door.

"Cat... Look... It's not that I do not want to... Believe me, I really do... But we can't... And you're drunk."

"So what? I want to!" I was acting like a teenager, too horny to even think straight. So I grabbed his face and tried to kiss him but he pushed me away more strongly than he intended.

"But not this way!" He almost yelled and suddenly it seems like I was snapped out of a trance and calmed down.

I started to retreat away from his grip, with tears forming in my eyes.

"I tried so hard to be able to have an intimate moment with you. I tried everything. Today I tried the alcohol and I really had the courage to do it and... now you reject me..."

As words failed on me and I started sobbing, Chester took a step in my direction, but I backed up until I sat on the bed. 

Chester didn't know what else to do, so he closed his eyes, sighed and knelt in front of me, one hand landing gently on my tight.

"Cat ... I want you... God, I had to hold back all this time not to take you whenever I wanted. But knowing how important this is to you, never in life I would let it happen while you are drunk."

"I'm not that drunk." I made a grimace.

"I bet you can not walk straight." He lifted a brow at me and I shrugged, knowing too well he was right.

"I'm less drunk than your friend Tabitha who doesn't take her hands off of you, and you don't even push her away, you don't even put her in her place." I pouted. -  _Yes, I know, I'm acting like a total OAG._

"Cat ... Tabitha ... is a complicated person." He sighed, diverting his gaze from me.

"She seems easy to me," I whispered and looked away from him, arms crossed in front of my chest.

"Cat!" He protested.

"What is it? Everybody sees how she acts on with you and you do nothing about it. Care to tell me why is she so important?"

When he opened his mouth to talk someone opened the door without knocking. It was her, Thabita.  _Great timing._

She leaned against the door frame in a seductive pose, eyeing me and Chester on his knees. Then she saw tears in my eyes and started laughing for no reason. And seeing her acting that way and Chester doing nothing made me cry even more.

Between laughs, Tabitha managed to speak a few words.

"Such little pathetic girl you are. You must be like all the other girls, gold diggers that only what Chester for his money and his fame. He'll get rid of you as he did with all the others. So, do yourself a favor and leave before he leaves you."

Her doll-like voice and her fake innocent expression made my blood boil with rage. Word after word she stabbed my heart like daggers and Chester didn't even flinch. So I got up and ran away from Chester's' grip and away from that house, pushing Tabitha against the wall on my way out.

Everyone looked puzzled at me while I left the house running like I've seen the devil.

Right after I slammed the door, Mike appeared behind me.

"Hey, hey. What happened?" He grabbed my arm and stopped me from running.

"They... They... How could I be so stupid?"

"Sssh, don't cry" Mike hugged me and I started sobbing. "Tell me what's wrong. Chester did anything to you?"

"He did... or no, he didn't. Tabitha did. Gosh, I'm sorry Mike, but I can't handle this anymore."

"Don't say that. We're all drunk. Maybe this was a misunderstanding." He tried to calm me down but it only made it worse.

"Do you see him here with me now? Do you see him running after me? No. YOU came after me. Because you care about me. He doesn't. He must have stayed in his room with that bitch."

"It's not like that..." He wanted to explain something but I interrupted him, letting my rage get the best of me.

"What? It's complicated? Yeah, Chester told me the same. You know what? Never mind. I have a job proposition far away from here. Probably it's best if I just take it and I'll pretend this never happened." I turned my back to go home. "But you're cool though. It was nice to meet you, Mike."

"Cat. Come one. Wait."

I didn't give him the chance to speak as I turned my back to him and went straight home, ignoring Mike calling my name.

When I finally felt the bed under my body it was when I collapsed and began to cry non-stopping. After all these years I finally let someone approach me so much that I ended up hurt. It wouldn't happen again. I would never be that stupid again. What was I even thinking? A relationship with a rockstar? A man that could have any girl he wanted, a supermodel, actresses, anyone. Why would he want to be with me? And hearing Tabitha talking about the "other girls" that he disposed of whenever he grew tired of them, felt like someone was broking every bone of my body into tiny pieces.

My tears and my thoughts only stopped because I was so tired that I fell asleep. No dreams, no nightmares. Just blackness and loneliness. And never in my life, I wished I had nightmares to keep me company.


	9. Chapter 9

Chester and I have been dating in secret for months. Like three or four months without telling anyone about us. Not even Mike, the most caring person I've ever met. He thought our relationship odd, but we decided not to tell anyone until we were sure of what was happening.

Besides, we couldn't forget the fact that they are a famous international band. Their fans must be dying for news and even though Chester was way better than he was when he came to Portugal, there was still a long way to go. I knew it. He knew it. 

So we kept everything quiet.

Obviously, eventually, some of the members started to travel more often, working on new projects or visiting their families. 

And often Chester would be alone if it wasn't for me.

"How can you work here without melting all day? I'm melting already and I've been here for five minutes." Chester stated and laughed as a dog licked his face. That day I didn't want him to be alone in his house since everyone was away, so I took him with me to my veterinary hospital.

"You get used to it." I checked the cages where there were several dogs resting. Due to several diseases, they had to make chemotherapy and they needed to rest. So I shushed Chester and kept checking the dogs.

"This is really the job for you," Chester stated when I showed him the cats' area. I lift a brow at him but continued checking the medicine of the poor creatures. Some of them were agitated, they don't usually like unknown people around. He continued. "Animals kinda sense good people and bad people. And for what I've seen, they love you."

"Well, I make them feel better and give them food and water. They better love me." I winked.

"I know I do." He barely whispered, his eyes focused on the way my body moved carefully while I checked the little white rabbit on the last cage, then he was lost in his thoughts.

I tried not only to be his girlfriend, but also his best friend. I worry about him every minute I'm not with him and part of me wanted to be with him all the time. Yet, I was still having a hard time letting someone new in - I was working on that.

Mike knew how close we were and even though he was worried about his friend, he trusted me. So, one day he knocked on my door before leaving Portugal for a trip back to his homeland.

"This is for you." He said.

He handed me a Linkin Park keychain -  _how original_ \- with a key attached. I held it in the air and raised a brow at him with a puzzled look. He grinned and explained why he was giving me a key.

"It's your neighbor's house key. You know... Chester can be too lonely sometimes. I've been avoiding letting him alone, but for the next weeks, I'm not going to be able to do so. So I'm giving you a key to check on Chester in case anything happens or just if you want to surprise him." He winked and smiled weakly. And even though he was showing a smile, I knew there was something else.

"You don't trust him alone yet, do you?"

Mike tilted his head to the side as if he wanted to say "NO" but instead he said with a sad smile on his face. 

"Chester needs a company to be good again. And you're his favorite company." He winked.

"I'll watch him. Don't worry".

I smiled and watched Mike turning around and leave. Something about that gesture got me worried. Chester has been telling me about his therapy sessions and how good he was going, but knowing that Mike didn't trust him alone in the house created lots of demons inside my head.

 _Is Chester down again? Ain't I helping him?_  

Anyway, I wouldn't use the key if it wasn't really necessary. I trust Chester and I need him to feel that.

In the following weeks, the band organized a great party with friends from all over the world, from different cultures. They came back from their holidays with their families for a week, too much excited about that party. And even though Chester and Mike refused to organize the party, they did it anyway, saying  _It's Christmas! We always celebrate Christmas with friends!_

"I don't know, maybe I'm getting too old for this kind of parties," Chester confessed to me while we were sitting on his porch, blanket warming us up in that cold winter night. "When I think of Christmas, I think about family. A big dinner with all the loved ones. Not people we only see twice in a year that only want an excuse to get drunk."

"My Christmas are always great. I have dinner with my family, exchange gifts, play Monopoly or any other game and shoot fireworks. Of course, it's even better now that my brothers have children." 

"It's been a while since I had a Christmas eve like that." He whispered, lowering his gaze to the floor.

We remained silent for a while. My heart was tight inside my chest feeling sad for Chester. He above all people deserved better. He did nothing wrong to be like this, and if there was something that I could do to help him, I wouldn't even look back.

"Spend the Christmas with me and my family," I told him without thinking twice.

"What?" He lifted his teary eyes, glowing right at me.

"Have dinner with me and my family. I know it's not the same as a family of yours - my family is full of flaws -, but it's the best I can offer."

He stared. He just stared.

And I smiled, pulling him to a deep hug.

"You don't know how much you mean to me." He stated, sobbing uncontrollably while I held him tight against my chest. "I don't deserve you."

"It is I who don't deserve you." I kissed the top of his head and rocked him in my arms, humming a lullaby my mother used to sing me when I was little.

****

The party was only a few hours away when Chester knocked on my door. 

"Hey there, rockstar," I hugged him and invited him in.

He was acting a little strange but I didn't ask him anything about it. Instead, I guided to my room where I was reading a Norse Mythology book. I closed the book and lay on my bed and he mimicked me.

"Are you alright, Chester?"

"I... had a crazy nightmare and I had to see you." He gulped and sighed.

I turned my body around to face him and he just turned his head, fighting hard his tears.

"What to tell me about it?"

He just nodded "no", a tear betraying him and strolling down his cheek.

With my thumb, I carefully wiped that tear away, stroking his cheek gently before placing a kiss on his lips. He closed his eyes as he felt my touch and part of him was fighting his urge to take me that moment.

So his body started shaking and pulled my body close to his.

He finally let his body wander my body in a slow and gentle way, feeling my skin under my shirt. I knew Chester needed that contact; to feel the warmth of my skin; to feel me. That's why I allowed him to move his fingers along my belly, down to my the edge of my pants.

Chester couldn't control himself any longer, so he just connected his lips with mine, his tongue finding his home inside my mouth. He bit my lower lip gently, making me shiver under his touch. And feeling that, made him go further down, under my pants until he felt the fabric of my panties.

He broke the kiss, looking me in the eyes. His dark brown shiny eyes were now full of tears, piercing my soul with his intense stare. It almost looked like he was pleading me as his cheeky hand started to go under my panties and further down.

"I need you, so badly." He whispered, his forehead resting against my forehead. And since I didn't protest of flinch, his fingers finally met my folds, making him moan as soon as he felt them all wet. "I could make you happy..." He started spreading my juice all over my folds, gently rubbing my clit in a circular motion. "If only you let me feel you."

All I could do was moan almost silently, and feel a burning sensation wherever he touched.

"Chester..." I gasped, too weak to even say a proper sentence. You would think I wanted to stop what he was doing, but my mind was too intoxicated with pleasure that I couldn't even move away. I wanted him. More than anything.

Right by my side, Chester' erection was twitching and getting hard.

"Give in to me, Cat." He whispered in my ear, kissing my neck and biting it gently.

Slowly, he was crawling on top of me, always making sure I wanted him to continue. And since there was no fear in my eyes, he parted took his hand off my panties and placed his body in the middle of legs, his mouth kissing all the way down to my chest.

"You're so beautiful." He whispered, looking at me. "If only you could see yourself the way I see you." And he started rubbing his hard erection between my legs, provoking a hot sensation with the friction.

My hands were freely rubbing his back, slowly pulling his dark blue shirt up, exposing his tattoed torso. When his shirt finally met the floor, his eyes finally met mine, lust gleaming through his dark orbs.

I couldn't bear the distance from his lips, so both my hands grabbed his back and pulled him back to me, back to my lips. And his hands traveled down my body until they found the button of my pants.

Both of us were panting, hearts racing with excitement, a smiles plastered on our faces. He finally unbuttoned my pants and pulled away from my lips to pull them down. And right before he started taking them off, we heard a key on the keyhole.

"It must be my mother," I whispered in despair and frustrated.

Chester buttoned my pants back and in a quick movement had his shirt on, sat on the bed with a pillow hiding his erection and a fake smile hiding his disappointment. 

"Come on in," I said after she knocked on my door.

She just entered the room and greeted us, before closing the door and leave us alone again.

We glared at each other, faces reddened and breathing uneven.

"I should go now," Chester said jumbled with his still hard erection, hands trying to hide it. And before I could say a word, he fleed the room and left me alone, panting and flushed.

***

During the party, Chester didn't approach me very often. He greeted me with a smile when I arrived at his home, but he didn't stay by my side to talk like we used to do.

Instead, he stayed on the other corner of the living room, chatting with some friends, while Tabitha kept approaching him all night. And he didn't even tell her to fuck off - he just stayed there, laughing whenever she said something stupid and often glanced at me with a bored expression.

When people started dancing to the sound of the stupid "Despacito" I had enough. I grabbed a whiskey bottle and started to fill my cup, drinking it dry, with no ice. Then I turned to Tequilla and many other drinks until I almost couldn't walk in a straight line. 

"Hey, are you ok?" Mike asked me with a worried smile.

"I am, thank you very much," I answered, glancing to Chester and Tabitha dancing by the corner of my eyes. She was almost grinding on him, but as much as he stepped back, she didn't let go of him.

"Come, let's get some air." Mike hugged me and guided me to the back porch. The night was cold and I shivered immediately. "Feeling better?"

I looked at Mike and nodded, feeling my head still dizzy.

"You don't drink much do you?" He asked with a mocking expression.

"No. I don't know what gave into me tonight." I confessed.

"Don't worry. You're doing fine." He sighed and whispered. "But don't drink your problems away. It doesn't work that way."

I nodded and turned around to go back inside the room.

Chester was now playing PES and Tabitha was in the kitchen with the girls, chatting. I joined them hearing their conversation. And that made me drink even more that night. She kept on bragging about her and Chester relationship and how they were close since childhood and how their relationship evolved to something more intimate. I kept my mouth closed, biting my lower lip, while I kept filling up my cup with all kinds of drinks.

In the middle of the party, Mike whispered something in Chester's' ear and after that, Chester didn't take his eyes off me with a worried expression.

And after a while, he got up from his seat and approached me, pulling me gently by my arm and guiding me to his bedroom.

As soon as we entered his room, I pushed him against the door and kissed him savagely, not giving him a chance to speak. He kissed me back, obviously, and his hands started wandering the curves of my hips and my back, pulling me closer to him.

We broke the kiss to catch our breaths and Chester finally managed to speak.

"Hey, baby... what gave into you?"

I didn't answer. I just started pulling his shirt up and off and dropped it on the floor. I began to kiss his torso as he leaned against the wooden-door and planted kisses from his neck down to his pants.

Even though he thought my behavior was odd, Chester couldn't deny how aroused he was by my wild behavior. And as expected, when I got on my knees, his shaft was huge, his erection pulsating to be released.

My hands started loosening his belt automatically, but I was stopped by his on other pair of hands that pulled me up to the level of his dark eyes.

"Cat, what are you doing?"

"Can't you see? I'm trying to give you what you want."

I tried to go back down but he stopped me, closed his eyes and sighed, his head banging back against the door.

"Cat... Look... It's not that I do not want to... Believe me, I really do... But we can't... And you're drunk."

"So what? I want to!" I was acting like a teenager, too horny to even think straight. So I grabbed his face and tried to kiss him but he pushed me away more strongly than he intended.

"But not this way!" He almost yelled and suddenly it seems like I was snapped out of a trance and calmed down.

I started to retreat away from his grip, with tears forming in my eyes.

"I tried so hard to be able to have an intimate moment with you. I tried everything. Today I tried the alcohol and I really had the courage to do it and... now you reject me..."

As words failed on me and I started sobbing, Chester took a step in my direction, but I backed up until I sat on the bed. 

Chester didn't know what else to do, so he closed his eyes, sighed and knelt in front of me, one hand landing gently on my tight.

"Cat ... I want you... God, I had to hold back all this time not to take you whenever I wanted. But knowing how important this is to you, never in life I would let it happen while you are drunk."

"I'm not that drunk." I made a grimace.

"I bet you can not walk straight." He lifted a brow at me and I shrugged, knowing too well he was right.

"I'm less drunk than your friend Tabitha who doesn't take her hands off of you, and you don't even push her away, you don't even put her in her place." I pouted. -  _Yes, I know, I'm acting like a total OAG._

"Cat ... Tabitha ... is a complicated person." He sighed, diverting his gaze from me.

"She seems easy to me," I whispered and looked away from him, arms crossed in front of my chest.

"Cat!" He protested.

"What is it? Everybody sees how she acts on with you and you do nothing about it. Care to tell me why is she so important?"

When he opened his mouth to talk someone opened the door without knocking. It was her, Thabita.  _Great timing._

She leaned against the door frame in a seductive pose, eyeing me and Chester on his knees. Then she saw tears in my eyes and started laughing for no reason. And seeing her acting that way and Chester doing nothing made me cry even more.

Between laughs, Tabitha managed to speak a few words.

"Such little pathetic girl you are. You must be like all the other girls, gold diggers that only what Chester for his money and his fame. He'll get rid of you as he did with all the others. So, do yourself a favor and leave before he leaves you."

Her doll-like voice and her fake innocent expression made my blood boil with rage. Word after word she stabbed my heart like daggers and Chester didn't even flinch. So I got up and ran away from Chester's' grip and away from that house, pushing Tabitha against the wall on my way out.

Everyone looked puzzled at me while I left the house running like I've seen the devil.

Right after I slammed the door, Mike appeared behind me.

"Hey, hey. What happened?" He grabbed my arm and stopped me from running.

"They... They... How could I be so stupid?"

"Sssh, don't cry" Mike hugged me and I started sobbing. "Tell me what's wrong. Chester did anything to you?"

"He did... or no, he didn't. Tabitha did. Gosh, I'm sorry Mike, but I can't handle this anymore."

"Don't say that. We're all drunk. Maybe this was a misunderstanding." He tried to calm me down but it only made it worse.

"Do you see him here with me now? Do you see him running after me? No. YOU came after me. Because you care about me. He doesn't. He must have stayed in his room with that bitch."

"It's not like that..." He wanted to explain something but I interrupted him, letting my rage get the best of me.

"What? It's complicated? Yeah, Chester told me the same. You know what? Never mind. I have a job proposition far away from here. Probably it's best if I just take it and I'll pretend this never happened." I turned my back to go home. "But you're cool though. It was nice to meet you, Mike."

"Cat. Come one. Wait."

I didn't give him the chance to speak as I turned my back to him and went straight home, ignoring Mike calling my name.

When I finally felt the bed under my body it was when I collapsed and began to cry non-stopping. After all these years I finally let someone approach me so much that I ended up hurt. It wouldn't happen again. I would never be that stupid again. What was I even thinking? A relationship with a rockstar? A man that could have any girl he wanted, a supermodel, actresses, anyone. Why would he want to be with me? And hearing Tabitha talking about the "other girls" that he disposed of whenever he grew tired of them, felt like someone was broking every bone of my body into tiny pieces.

My tears and my thoughts only stopped because I was so tired that I fell asleep. No dreams, no nightmares. Just blackness and loneliness. And never in my life, I wished I had nightmares to keep me company.


	10. Chapter 10

After a night full of strange dreams about Chester, I slowly opened my eyes when I woke up the next morning. 

Getting up to a seating position, I rubbed my eyes and yawned, stretching my body.

My attention was diverted to the blue intermittent notification light on my phone. Lazy, I picked up the phone and unlocked it, opening the text messages I had. One was from Mike saying he would leave at 10 A.M. to the airport, asking me to check on Chester as soon as I wake up.

There were three more text messages from Chester. One at 1 A.M., other at 6:02 AM. and the last one was at 9.30 A.M.

CHESTER:  _I'm losing my mind without you... I just need to talk to you. You'll understand after I explain you everything. I can't lose you. Please... Mike told me about your job proposition. Are you considering to accept it? Would you leave me like that? Am I so despicable to you?_  
CHESTER:  _I'm sorry for my last text... I'm desperate... If I can't have you in my life, there's no point in it._

The last message caused me to burst in tears, a knot in my throat making me want to throw up. The way he talked, like I was the only reason to live, made me scared of losing him. All my life I've been pushing people away and now that there's that possibility, I'm scared. I don't want to lose him.

Cleaning my tears away I read the last message and the lump in throat tighten as well as the heartbeat in my chest. 

CHESTER:  _Mike will be gone in a few minutes. I'll be alone. I'm afraid of being alone... My head is not the best company for me. Please, talk to me._

I looked at my clock and it was 10:49 AM.  _Shit_. He was alone probably for about an hour and that's not good. I began to shake for no reason, my hands sweating making it difficult to grab my phone. I started to write a text message to him. 

The first in weeks. 

ME:  _Hey... Are you up? You didn't sleep last night, did you? We can talk if you want."_

I bit my lower lip while I waited for an answer. Ten minutes later, there was no response so I texted him again.

ME:  _Can I come over so we can talk?"_

After some time my phone finally rang: Chester on the ID. 

 I took a deep breath and answered it.

"Hi..."

All I could hear was his heavy breathing and some muffled cry. He was trying to talk to me, to tell me something, but between sobs and sniffing, there was no way on Earth I could understand what he was really saying.

"Chester, calm down... Are you ok?" Without thinking twice I jumped out of bed, looking for something to wear instead of my pajamas. 

"I love you Cat." Was all that I could hear before he hung up.

My heart was racing faster than it ever was, my head was dizzy and I couldn't find any fucking clothes on sight. So I just grabbed the key Mike gave me and I started running down the street as my life depended on it.

I knew he wasn't well and needed help.  _How could I be so stupid?_  He needed me and I was selfish, as always... 

As always, I thought my problems were far more important than those of others. But sometimes we have to get out of our comfort zone so we can find true happiness. And because I only realized this at the moment, I could lose Chester forever and, then, I would lose myself too.

The fact that I couldn't get the key in the keyhole because my whole body was shaking also did not help at all.

When I finally opened the door, hearing nothing but silence, I looked around and saw that the kitchen table was filled with crumpled papers, a pen and 2 bottles of beer. As I approached the table, there was a sheet of paper all written in Chester's handwriting, and there was no need to read more than the first line to see what it was: _a farewell letter_.

"Chester??? CHESTER!"

I screamed so loud that my throat hurt and froze in fear. My head was now throbbing and hurting like millions of hammers were hitting on it and tears were clouding my vision.

With the letter in my hand, I started running through all the doors inside the house looking for him. He wasn't in his room, nor in his bathroom. The bed was empty, perfectly done, as if he never slept on it that night. And the rest of the room was all tidy and clean.

I left his room and ran to their rehearsal studio.

That's when the floor left my feet and the blood left my veins.

Chester was hanging by his neck with a rope that was tied in the iron bars of the ceiling. He was red and purple and his eyes were bulging out at me, filled with tears. He was still alive, probably been there for a few seconds, but he was clearly in a lot of pain, so I had to think fast and scream later.

I grabbed a chair that has fallen on the floor underneath him, lifted it and put it under him until he leaned on it. I also climbed it at the same time and pulled the rope out of his neck. It wasn't working so I put all of my weight on the rope and pulled it so hard that it fell off the ceiling. He slumped off the chair abruptly and fell back against the green couch, struggling to catch his breath. I knelt down in front of him crying and screaming as he tried to get back to normal.

Like a snap of a finger, anger started boiling inside my veins and I yelled at him, throwing the farewell letter against his chest and slamming my clenched fists against it, over and over again.

"What the fuck were you thinking? Why? Why Chester? Why the fuck did you try to do this? Huh?"

"I'm sorry Cat..." He shivered so much. "I'm so, so sorry...

"Don't you dare say I'm sorry one more time Chester or help me, God. Why did you do this?"

"I d-didn't want to... live in a world y-you're not in..." He was still struggling with breathing.

"I wasn't going away from this world." I raised my hands in the air as a plea.

"B-but were n-not in my world."

"And what? Do you think it would be fair for me when I found you dead? Did you think about me when you d-did this?" I gulped, not controlling my sobs anymore and just let my head burry in my hands.

He didn't say anything. He just stared at me, still trying to get back to normal. 

"You could have just waited for me. You could have been patient. But no... You were a selfish asshole. You didn't think about me at all."

"N-n-no... I d-d-id... I thought of you, every m-oment" He coughed as he tried to speak, and my anger dissipated, giving way to pure concern. "I wanted you t-to sho-ow up every moment to stop me from d-doing th--is..." He coughed again. "But y-you didn't. And when I saw you..." He coughed one last time. " I... immediately regretted what I was doing."

He tried to speak some more but he was still recovering so I just interrupted him and finally approached him slowly, not knowing exactly what to do.

"Sssshh. Don't talk now. I'm so sorry... I'm so scared, Chester..." I hugged him at last, my body melting as soon as I felt his warmth. He returned the hug with difficulty and we remained silent for some time until I finally decided to do something to help him. "But you need a shower. And ice on your neck. We're going to the hospital."

He started to tremble, shaking his head quickly.

"No... N-no. Please. No hospitals."

"Chester, you can be severely injured."

"N-no... Please..." He looked at my eyes with his dark shining orbs pleading for mercy. That look on his eyes made me lose all my logical reasoning so I just nodded.

"Come, let's get a shower, then."

I helped him to get up and he leaned on me, slowly walking towards his bathroom in total silence.

I made him sit on the toilet seat while I turned on the hot water. Never in my entire life, I had a moment so intense and heavy like inside that bathroom. Not knowing exactly what to say or what to do to relieve the tension I just took care of him. I approached him, took off his shirt, letting it fall on the floor. Then, I pulled him up and started to unbutton his shorts while he looked at me with a puzzled look. Ignoring his uncertain gaze, I took off his grey pants along with his black boxers. And then I blushed, looking at his fully naked body in from of me.

His body was covered in black and colored tattoos, contrasting with his pale skin. He wasn't a very muscular man, but he had his body very well defined. If I didn't stop my sultry mind I would be touching his arms and his torso just to feel how firm his skin was. 

But it was no time for that. My only mission was to take care of him, to save him.

So I guided him to the shower, where the steam of the water was already fully fogging the mirror and he closed his eyes as soon as he felt the hot water warming up his gelid body. His previously uproarious mind was now in complete silence as if his neurons had ceased to function and his body was now lighter than it ever was.

He couldn't feel any kind of emotions, he even wondered if those had ceased to exist, but his question was answered when he felt my two arms embracing him from behind.

When he wasn't expecting, I let my white nightgown fall on the floor and entered the shower. I don't what the hell got into me, but before I knew it I was completely naked, planting kisses on his red and purple neck. 

We didn't talk or anything. There was no need for that. So we just let the hot water wash away the dirt and the sweat from our bodies and warm up our skins.

After a few minutes, I moved, picking up his shower gel that smelled like red fruits and carefully started washing his body. I started on his shoulders, massaging them gently. This made him sigh and a moan escaped his mouth. Then, I washed his back all the way down, kneeling to wash his legs too.

When I got up he turned his body around and finally faced me and while I was focused on cleaning his body, his eyes never left mine. He seemed like he was lost in his own world, staring emotionless at me. And when I washed very carefully his hurt neck he flinched, making me stop whatever I was doing.

I couldn't stand his lost gaze like he was in some kind of trance. I couldn't stand looking at him in the eyes and don't see the Chester I knew. So I closed mine and planted a kiss on his lips.

As soon as my lips touch his, even though he was confused by my attitude, it seems that he finally woke up from the trance he was and was brought back to the real world. He grabbed me by my waist and deepened the kiss, gently asking for permission to feel my tongue with his. I thought it was the hot water, but when we broke the kiss to catch our breaths, I saw his eyes filled with tears, strolling down his cheek and mine. That moment, the walls that I've been building over the years were trembling and threatening to fall down completely.

When we finally broke the kiss, still no words came out of our mouths. Chester left the shower first, drying his skin with a towel, but when I got out of the shower he stopped and stared at my naked body. I could see him fight hard against his desires, his eyes were even more dark with lust and you could almost touch the heavy tension hovering us.

Despite his sultry fantasies, he approached me slowly and put his towel around me, to help me dry my own body. And when he was done, he took the robe hanging behind the bathroom' door and put it on my back, tightening the belt in front of me to cover my naked body. Then, he wrapped another towel around his waist and finally left the bathroom.

He sat on the edge of his bed, looking down as if he was a kid preparing to be scolded.

"Chester?" I asked with a low and worried voice. He didn't answer but instead looked right at me, with his teary eyes. "I'm worried about you... Let's go get some ice to put on your neck. Come with me."

I offered him my hand but he didn't grab it. He just got up and exited the room, heading for the kitchen. I followed him quietly and opened the fridge door, looking for some ice. There was a bag suitable for wounds and I picked it up. When I turned around I didn't see Chester in the kitchen, and for any reason, my heart started pounding faster inside my chest.

Quickly, I ran through the corridors I went straight to the rehearsal room where he tried to hang himself earlier. Chester was there, sitting on the floor, leaning against the sofa and holding the rope I ripped off the ceiling.

"I'm truly sorry for what you saw earlier. I didn't think about what I was doing. I just wanted it to end..."

"What did you want to end Chester?" I started to approach him, carefully sitting on the floor in front of him.

"My life. My broken heart and my broken mind. You're the best thing that ever happened to me and I managed to fuck this shit too. I didn't mean to hurt you, Cat. But I had too... I had to protect you... I didn't know it would be like this." He buried his head on his hands and look desperate to the floor.

"I don't think I understand what you're saying--"

"Tabitha... The girl... is obsessed with me. It's my fault, really. I was sorry for her and I couldn't do anything to hurt her. So I kept her close. But she always messed up every kind of relationships I had with women. She becomes jealous and dangerous... She started to see you as a threat, so she... she found out about your past. I don't know how but she did."

"It's not that hard to find out, Chester. It was all over the news."

"Yes, but she knows more than what was exposed. She knows about your private life. About your trust issues, about your intimate life, or lack of it... She even knows stuff about your high school boyfriend. I don't how the fuck she found out all of that..." 

I gasped.

"She told me what happened to you. She thought that maybe I would be disgusted or something. But she noticed that I was already aware of your past and so she threatened me." He muffled a laugh. "She said that she would tell everyone about it... Not only our friends but to magazines and other shitty papers. She would expose you if I touch you again. I could never do that to you, Cat. I couldn't... I wanted to be with you... to have you... But I had to protect you from her."

He buried once again his head in his hands, the rope still intertwined in his fingers.

"I didn't know what to do. And then, you tried to seduce me. And then, she tried to kill herself and you didn't want to talk to me. And I understand why though. But it escalated so quickly and I had to protect you... I had..." He couldn't finish his sentence, so I just hugged him and cried with him. 

When he felt my breathing in the crock of his neck, it caused him to shiver, but it also made him stronger to continued explain what happened.

"I had to protect you, Cat... But knowing happiness like I have known with you and then losing it all... It was just too much to handle. I'm sorry for being unfair with you."

"Unfair? Why?"

"I love you, Cat. I don't care that you don't feel the same. I love you and I would give up everything just to be by your side. Even if as simple friends. Having you in my life is motivation enough to live it."

My brain took some time to process his words. And I felt stupid when I realized how much he was wrong. He told me he loved several times, and I never had the balls to express my true feelings for him. But the truth is, even though he meant so much to me, I never realized the nature of my sentiments.

"I'm so, so sorry, Chester. I was selfish and... and I was scared. I AM scared. But I want to be with you! I am truly grateful that you tried to protect my past. Thank you so much for what you've done for me... But you're wrong about something." 

I cupped his face, making his teary eyes to look at me. Both of us were so overwhelmed, we've been through a hell of a rollercoaster of emotions and when we think our heart couldn't take more, life shows you differently.

"I do love you, Chester. I love you so much." 

There was a new light shining through Chester's' eyes. Like a new hope stirring inside his vulnerable heart. And before he could say anything, I threw my body at him, crashing my lips against his. He didn't move. He was still shocked.

And when I pulled away from his lips and looked him in the eyes, he knew that moment that it wasn't a dream. I love him. 

So he pulled me back to his arms and kissed me more fervently, his tongue seeking for comfort inside my mouth. His hands roamed the back of my neck, tangling his fingers with my hair, pulling me even more against him.

The way he touched me so gently, was enough to set something on fire inside my body. I wanted to feel more of him. I wanted him to feel more of me. So I sat on his lap, never daring to break the wet kiss, and connected my legs behind his waist. Just like magic, my body was rocking against his crotch under me, provoking a burning sensation between my legs. He felt it too, as he started getting hard and breathless.

My body was aching for more intimacy, so I decided to obey its needs and loosened my robe and dropped it on the floor behind me.

Chester didn't know what was going to happen before he saw me undressing in front of him. As soon as his eyes scanned the vision from heaven in front of him he wondered what had he done to deserve such sight. 

"Take me now, Chester."

I didn't need to ask him twice. He tossed away the rope that he was still holding on his left hand, pushed me gently against the floor and lay on top of me, kissing me as passionately as possible. 

Feeling the way my body was reacting to his touch made all my insecurities and fears vanish and that day was the day I finally gave myself to the love of my life.


	11. Chapter 11

Chester was well aware of my history and my fears. He couldn't understand how such a kind and good person could hide a past so horrible as I do. And he couldn't certainly understand how I was capable of enduring life with a wide smile on my face every day. 

He admired me for it and he respected me above anything else.

That's why he tried to conceal his wild desires with his gentle touches. Seeing me naked and connecting my body to his like I was doing, made him feel that kind of warm inside his heart that made him smile for no purpose. That was something he didn't remember when was the last time he felt it -  _Hell, he never felt anything like that before!_ He had sex with many women in his life, sometimes more than one at the same time ( _and how ashamed he felt for that_ ) but nothing compared to feel the woman he loved exposing her vulnerabilities in front of him.

While our bodies were grinding against each other, Chester's' towel loosened its grip from his waist and connecting our skin together at last.

And experiencing his naked body against mine for the first time made me feel something I actually felt before: The craving for Chester's' touch; The deep sultry desire that I've been ignoring -  _Foolish of me._

My hands started roaming his back, pushing him harder against the middle of my legs as his mouth left my lips and started kissing my neck and shoulders as gentle as possible. He couldn't help but bite and suck all his way down to my breasts, while one of his hands clutched and squeezed one breast. He was trying to be patient, he wanted to wait the right moment to explore other parts of my body.

The shy moans that escaped my mouth made him smile, _it sure seemed like those were made in heaven._

And noticing how my body reacted to his touch, he decided to let his other hand travel along the curves of my hips, down to the lower belly. He eyed me attentively, trying to find any kind of fear in my eyes, but he saw nothing else than passion.

So he traveled further down until he felt my wet folds. I gasped, feeling a burning sensation wherever he touched (and he was too delighted with the innocent sounds coming from my mouth). His fingers were calloused due to the instruments he plays, but they felt smooth as he massaged tenderly the source of pleasure between my folds. In circle motions, he rubbed my clit the right way, aroused with the shivering woman under him. One bold finger ventured further down to my entrance, always on alert for any sign of displeasure. He saw none once again, so with a slow movement, the finger penetrated me, my soft velvet clutching immediately around his long finger.

"Are you sure you want me?" He asked with his shining dark orbs staring at me with expectation. He didn't stop the tender movement of his finger, going in and out of me.

I wanted to answer him, but I could only snort.

"Yes... Fuck... I want you, Chester."

"I love you so much," He let a tear fall down his eyes, so he just closed them, feeling my wet walls around his index finger. Chester was hoping to hear an  _I love you too_ , but my words made him stop and snap open his eyes.

"I need you, Chester... Inside me."

I could see a mix of emotions in his eyes: he was clearly horny, yet, worry that he would give in to his wildest desires. He was anxious about what to do next and I could unquestionably see it in his eyes - the fear of crossing a line and push me away for good. But I didn't want to be away from him. Never again. When I realized I could lose him forever, nothing else mattered to me. I wanted to save him. I wanted to be with him.

And that's why I chose to give myself to him.

"I want to... I really do. But not here. Not on this floor, you deserve better."

Then, he got up and held a hand in the air to help me get up. He pulled me against his naked body and after a passionate and wet kiss, he picked me up, bride-style, and took me to his dim bedroom.

He opened his bedroom door and put me down, gluing his lips to mine once again. But this time I took the lead, and slowly pushed him against his bed until his body fell back on the mattress. Without giving him time to do anything, I climbed on top of him, kissed his lips and started leaving a trail of kisses along his body, down to his belly until I reached for my prize.

Chester was more than aroused with my bold attitude. Carefully, I grabbed his erection in my hand and he gasped at the touch. So I smiled, licked my lips and - without knowing what I was doing - I started licking and sucking the tip very slowly, playing with his emotions. He couldn't help but groan as the burning sensation my tongue was provoking in him made him fly over the clouds.

The beautiful sounds that came out of his mouth motivated me to explore him with my mouth, so I parted my lips and swallowed his length until my limit. And a sweet moan escaped his mouth. So I continued that movement, in and out, increasing the pace as I felt him getting harder.

Chester was trying not to grab my head and force me to go faster, as his wilder self was ordering him. No. Instead, he decided to enjoy the moment and take a mental picture of how well he fit inside me.

"Come here." He pulled me up by my shoulders and rolled my body so he could be on top.

He smirked as he decided to reciprocate the pleasure, slowly approaching his mouth to the middle of my legs. I wasn't ready when he attacked my folds and my clitoris. It was like nothing I've ever experienced before. It was electrifying. And Chester wanted to show me how much it could pleasant. So he worked his tongue gently, sucking and licking my clitoris for some time, beaming as he heard my moans. Then, he penetrated me with one finger, feeling my tight walls clenching around him. 

When he started licking and finger fuck me at the same time, something started to build inside my womb. Something warm, threatening to explode any minute. And when he intensified his pace, it finally came out in the form of a liquid, making me moan louder than I expected.

Panting and feeling dizzy, I looked at Chester with a puzzled expression and he smiled planting a kiss on my forehead and laying on my side.

"Congratulations, your first orgasm."

_I've been losing those sensations my whole life? What a dumbshit I am!_

Even though my breathing became almost normal, my heart was beating faster and faster - I wasn't done.

"Please... I want you inside me."

The stroking of my hair stopped when Chester processed those words. He eyed me with caution as he warned me.

"Baby... This is different. Having me inside you will be the most intimate moment. It's THE moment. Do you want to share it with me? There's no turning back."

"I know..." 

"At first, it's going to hurt... But endure it for some time and it will be better. I'll be gentle with you, I promise."

I didn't answer him anymore, it wasn't necessary. I just pulled his body closer and crashed my lips against his.

Before I knew it Chester's' body was in the middle of my legs, playing with my wet entrance with his erection. For a while, he did just that, almost like he was trying to tease me, which made me feel even more excited.

And before I knew it he was slowly entering me, stretching my walls.

"If you want me to stop you just say it, ok? I want you to enjoy yourself, baby."

I nodded, still gasping with the new sensation of feeling him inside me, even if he's still playing with my entrance.

Then he entered me at once making me scream with the excruciating pain. It felt like someone was cutting me from inside. 

Chester didn't move nor took his worried eyes away from me. I was trying to control my breathing since I started panting and moaning in pain. Scaring me away wasn't on his plans, so he did everything to keep me comfortable. He planted kisses all over my face and neck, tickling me in the process. I let out a laugh and he smiled.

"I'm gonna start moving ok? In a few movements, you will adjust to me and it will stop hurting. Do you trust me?"

"Yes..."

Chester started moving slowly, in and out, as gentle as he could be, while he devoured my lips passionately, making me forget about the pain. But - once again - he was right. After some time, it stopped hurting and started feeling good.

Chester pulled away from my lips and lifted his body up, his hands supporting the weight of his body on my waist, while his hips smacked against mine at a faster pace. I felt him hardening inside me, stretching, my walls even more. The way his body trembled on top of me and how his moans echoed the empty house, gave me the idea he wanted to come.

And I was right. 

Chester couldn't think about any other image more pleasant than having me under him and him being fully inside me like he dreamt every night since he met me. And watching me moaning, breasts bouncing at the rhythm of his own body was sending him over the edge.

Then he slowed down and stopped.

"What is it?" I asked, part of me frustrated.

"Cat, I can't hold on anymore. It's just too good -- I want to come." He buried his head on the crook of my neck, inhaling the scent of my hair mixed with the sex-sweat.  _It turned him on even more._

"So?"

"I-- don't--" I interrupted him.

"Chester. It's ok, I'm on the pill if that's what you're worried about..."

"Not that... Ok, that too... But, do you want to feel me like that?"

"Until the last drop..." I smiled warmly at him and he closed his eyes groaning.

After telling me how much he loved me, Chester recommenced his fast pace as he seized my hips with his hands and started thrusting faster against me. He wouldn't last long, he knew that. And my loud moans didn't help him either, it sounded like music to his ears.

And for some time he tried to hold on just a bit more, to give me time to feel what pleasure feels like, but he failed. He couldn't help but spread his seed inside the small woman under him, the only woman that actually made him want to live.  _The love of his life._

He collapsed on top of me, heavy breathing and still moaning and shivering as the last drops of his seed were spilled out.

I was speechless and shocked with my ability to finally let him in. 

I fell in love for the first time in my life, and giving myself to someone like Chester was something that I never thought I would be capable of doing. And I felt good. I felt complete. And, most importantly, I was happy.

"Did you like it?" Chester's' weak voice could be heard from the crook of my neck.

"God... Chester," I sought to speak but I was still breathless. "It was amazing. I never felt anything like it."

"So, can I say that I exceeded your expectations?" He lifted his head and smirked.

"You're amazing and, yes, I had pleasure if that's what you want to know." His smile grew larger. "Although I'm all sore inside. I guess it's normal."

 "Now I'll have to move from inside you. We need another shower, I think." He looked down to our sweaty but sated bodies and lifted a brow.

"Oh, you think? How perceptive of you!"

Chester rolled his eyes but kept the smile on his lips. He was now focused on pulling his now wilted member from me without hurting me. I flinched at first, but my second feeling was incompleteness.

"Don't worry. I'll be inside you again, soon." Chester understood exactly why my facial expression switched because he felt it too. He felt like I was his home, that he belongs with me. " But first, back to the shower we go." 

Like the gentleman he is, he carried me on his arms to the bathroom, turning the hot water on.

As the hot water started to wash our sated bodies, Chester embraced me from me behind, holding me in his arms like he could lose me any second, planting kisses on my neck.

I swirled around to face him, a smile plastered on my lips that vanished gradually as my brown eyes fell on his bruised neck. That moment I felt a twist inside my stomach and a lump in my throat.  _It was because of me that he wanted to end his life. How would I be able to move on knowing that?_  His hands rested on my waist as I approached his neck and planted a soft kiss in his red and purple skin. He flinched at first but relaxed as I hugged him back and pulled him closer to me.

"Chester, I-- don't know how to handle this. I never felt like this before... I don't know what to do. Or what to say... But I know you love me too. I can see it... I can feel it." I whispered, while my head rested on his chest, feeling his heartbeat.  _I would never imagine how that simple sound would be such a relief._

"I do, Cat. I love you so much..." He pulled away, cupping my cheeks and making me look up to him. "You have no idea how much you mean to me. How many times your simple smile saved me from being consumed by own darkness..."

"You need to promise something to me, Chester. If you love me as you say you do, you have to promise me something." My face remained serious, gazing at his soul through his shiny brown eyes.

"Anything for you." 

"Never - ever -, under any circumstance, try to take your life ever again. This is a one-way trip, Chester. There's no turning back." He glanced away. "Look at me."

But he wasn't strong enough to look me in the eyes after what he did. God knows how much he felt guilty for even think to take his own life. And worse than that, how much he felt guilty for putting me through this. So, silently he cursed himself but thanked God for sending such a pure guardian Angel to his life. He wasn't sure what he did to deserve that, but he was eternally grateful.

With my index finger on his chin, I forced him to look at me.

"Look. At. Me." His teary eyes finally met mine and I melted. "You are the most extraordinary man I have ever met. You are kind to people, even though your world is in full sadness. You want to help everyone, even though you need help. That's why I'm in love with you. And that's why you're my first... And - I hope - my last. Never think any less of yourself. You are strong and powerful. You can have anything you want. There's nothing in this life worth taking your life for. Nothing, not even me. And if you think that way, then I also want you to think that I don't want to live in a world you're not in and if you ever tried to kill yourself again, you'll be killing me too. So, let's live our lives together. It's not easy. I am not easy. But I DO love you."

Chester was out of words.

No one ever talked to him like that and surely no one ever made him feel that way about himself. Could it be possible that he finally found his place in the world? That he finally found the light to cease his darkness? He truly believed that all the demons he built all these years could finally be killed if he held me one more time.

So he pulled me back to him and claimed my lips with his.


	12. Chapter 12

I presumed that one day - if I was capable of being this intimate with someone - I would have millions of thoughts revolving inside my head, but it turned out differently. My head was clear but full of emotions of completeness, happiness, and full satisfaction. Even hours after making love with Chester, my body still quivered with pleasure. It was like nothing I've ever felt before. 

I wasn't certain of what to do next - I never came this far. But giving myself to someone like Chester must mean something. Maybe he is the one. Maybe this is where my happiness should be and I shouldn't be afraid of love.

"Where are you now, love?" Chester questioned so softly with his deep sultry voice that made my body tremble and a moan almost escape my mouth. After our long shower, I decided to spend a full day with him in bed. Part of me didn't know if I could trust him alone again and the other part didn't want to find that out.

"Uh?" He snapped me away from my own world of thoughts and sensations as he caressed my arm tenderly.

"For a long period of time, I felt like I lost you somewhere else. What were you thinking?" He smiled. Chester tried to think of a time when he felt so peaceful like he was feeling at that moment. He thought about every moment of his life that filled him with joy, but nothing could compare.

I turned my body and got on top of his bare torso, our clean skin burning at the contact.

"Thinking about the future," I answered him and he raised a brow, foretelling a hard conversation. I sensed the turmoil boiling inside his heart, worry about the unrolling of our relationship. "And you know what I see when I think about that?"

He made a hmm sound, gulping hard and no words came out of his beautiful lips.

"You. I don't care how, but we have to make this work."

The warm smile forming on his lips was more than enough to make my heart skip a beat. Lately, it behaves like that every time Chester was near me.

"I know music is the most important thing in your life. And I would never get in the way of your dreams. But I want to be by your side, no matter what."

"Do you really mean that?" I nodded, but his face became serious as he cupped my cheeks and made me look at him. "My life as a member of Linkin Park is no bed of roses. And I'm not talking about the music, nor the fans. I'm talking about social media and paparazzi and shitty magazines. Those are cancer for my reputation and seem to love writing bullshit about our personal lives. Are you sure you're up to the challenge?"

"I am--" I answered but he interrupted me.

"Baby, I'm being serious. I'm warning you. It's not easy. I survived all these years, and I'm sure you will too. But your life will change if this turns out to be official."

"I'm aware of that Chester. I've thought about that, hundreds of times, and you're still all I see in my future." I kissed the tip of his nose and he smiled.

"I promise, I'll do anything I can to protect you from the spotlight. But I'm not sure it will be enough." Behind his shiny eyes and his masked smile was pure concern and fear of losing me for some stupid fake news about his personal life, like he was used to. He ignored all the shitty stories about him, but now there was someone who would be hurt by them and he couldn't afford that.

"I know you will." 

I crashed my lips against his, and he rolled our bodies around so he could be on top of me, between my legs. And nothing felt more like home.

***

"How was your Christmas?" Mike asked us two once he sat his ass on the couch. "Anything excited happened?" 

They were all back from the holidays, with new ideas for new songs and new sounds to share. 

It's been almost two weeks after Chester and I decided to stay together, but we decided to wait for his friends to come back to tell them. Mike called several times and asked how he was doing and we tried to conceal our happiness as much as we could. Of course, he was suspicious about it: when he left we weren't talking to each other and now we were constantly smiling.

"Not much," Chester answered and glanced at me.

Mike jumped on the couch and clapped his hands too excited. 

"No, no, no. Something happened, shithead. Tell me!"

Meanwhile, Joe, Rob, and Brad were by our side, curiously listening to our conversation, while a frustrated David was left with all the bags in the hand. So he cursed them all under his breath.

"Come on, guys. Tell us everything." Mike crossed his legs under his body and pleaded. He was dying to know as much as we do, so Chester decided to tease him a bit longer.

"Oh, I spent the Christmas' Eve with her family. They are such a lovely family and her mother is the best cooker in the world. So, it was fun." Mike stared at us expectantly, but Chester didn't say anything else for some time, making him groan in despair and get up from the couch to help David. "Of course there was also the fact that Cat and I are together officially, but nothing else happened."

"I knew it, you little shit!" He threw himself on top of Chester like a dog excited for seeing his owner, making him fall from the grey ottoman he was sitting. Mike even punched Chester in the arm before holding a hand for him to get up and give him a proper hug. 

Everyone stopped what they were doing to congratulate us and tell us how much they were - I quote - happy for us stop fucking around and just get on with it.

"Well, this surely deserves a party to celebrate!" Rob said too ablaze.

"No, no, no. No more parties." Chester answer promptly, remembering the aftermath of the last party. He was determined to push away everything that went wrong before and wanted to make sure he wouldn't commit the same mistakes that almost led to his end.

"Ok, ok." Rob raised his hands in defeat. "A dinner then." 

Chester approached me, kissed my forehead and embraced me in his arms, agreeing with the dinner proposition. The rest of the day was spent talking about us, about their holidays and their new ideas for the band.

***

Chester was walking nervously from one side of his living room to another. He wasn't sure what to do. That morning he had the last appointment with his therapist, months after trying to kill himself. He was hesitant about telling what he tried to do, but I made him promise he would hold no secrets with his therapist.

Well, for what I see you are more stable than you've ever been. The girl you keep talking about faced your condition with bravery. You must understand that you're not healed, your past will always be with you. You just learned to accept it and embrace it. And Cat seems to agree with that, for what you told me. He remembered the words from their last session. But you must understand you're not better because she's in your life. You're better because she finally made you unlock something inside your head. And you must continue what you're doing: Believing in yourself and accept your failures and success, the good and the horrible. That's why I think you should go back to your job, sing and inspire thousands of people like you used to do. Only now you can't touch those people even deeper.

Chester wasn't quite sure what she meant by that, but it certainly made him think about our future together.

For the last year, he wrote several songs. Most of them were love songs, with no sadness, no sorrow, nothing dark behind them. Only love. He wasn't ready to share them with the world. So he made a collection of his favorite ones and showed them to his bandmates. The songs talked about healing and battles. It talks about being a warrior against his darkest sides of ourselves and, of course, he did introduce hidden meanings that addressed his love for me. 

But now that the band showed the music to their managers and producers, they wanted to make a new album and a new tour.

He knew that day would come, but he wasn't expecting it to be that soon.

"Dude, you're going to make a hole on the floor." Mike said irritated with his friend's' behavior. For the past hour, he watched his friend bite his nails, move his irritant leg on the floor and walking around like a mad man.

"What would you do if you were her?" Chester asked, finally sitting on the couch, facing Mike.

"Hey, don't ask me. You should talk to her instead." He answered, not knowing exactly what to say. Chester made him a question, a hard one, and for the first time, Mike wasn't sure what advice he should give to his friend.

"I'm afraid she says no. What if she's not willing to do it?"

"Man, that's fucking hard to answer. You should talk to her, I guess."

Chester threw him a pillow and got up from the couch and resumed his nervous pace around the room. "Yeah, thank you for the help."

Mike rolled his eyes and picked the up the PlayStation controller. "What? Your balls dropped off? Just go and talk to her."

"Fuck you," Chester muttered and turned around to leave the house.

"No, fuck you," Mike yelled, making his friend grin already outside the house. 

Chester wasn't sure of what he was going to do - he was actually shaking dreading about the outcome of the conversation -, but he was sure of one thing: he wouldn't let me go that easily. He would fight, even if that meant slow down his career.

His therapist was right. I didn't heal him or anything. I only made him see what life could be if he just let go and be free. So he took a deep breath and knocked on my main door, almost hearing his own heartbeat for how wild it was beating inside his chest.

"Hey, rockstar." I greeted him with an open smile on my face.

"Hey, there beautiful." He stole a kiss from my lips and entered my house. "Do you have spare time? I need to talk to you."

I lifted a brow, sensing the anxiety behind his words, but I just nodded and guided him to my bedroom. As soon as we walked in I approached my desk and hid some drawings I've been working on.

"What's that?" He asked with an innocent but clearly curious smile.

"Nothing. Just some squiggles..." I closed the books and opened the drawer to guard them.

"Let me see them." He suggested and I looked him in the eyes.

"I-- I started drawing these last night. They're still not finished and they're not that good."

"Oh, come on. I bet you're being too modest."

I groaned and opened the drawer, handing the drawing book to Chester. He opened it and started to flip through all the pages, with his mouth opened in a bewilderment expression. He glanced at me and then back to the drawings.

"These are amazing... And you drew me, damn... I look more attractive on the paper... You're good!" I felt my cheeks crimsoning and he grinned, pulling me to his arms. "You're so cute when you blush."

I strucked him in the chest and he laughed. Damn, that sultry laugh...

"I'm serious. These are amazing..." He set the book down and cupped my cheeks. "I really think you should try something with these drawings."

"Oh, don't mock me." I tried to pull away but he kept me close to his face. His sparkling brown orbs, staring deeply inside my soul were intoxicating and hypnotizing.

"I'm not." He rustled, feeling the same sensations as I was feeling. "You really should show this to the world." Something occurred through his mind but he kept it for himself. "Look, I need to talk to you about something."

He sat me on my bed and sat by my side, explaining me everything about the end of the therapy sessions, the new album idea, the tour and I listened to every word he said, carefully expressing a neutral face, even though my heart was pounding fast inside my chest. After telling me all of his worries and his expectations he turned to me, grabbed my hands and made me a question.

"You said you would do anything to be by my side and now with the album and the tour that got me thinking. Would you come with me to New York? I-- I mean, would move in with me?" 

I gasped.


	13. Chapter 13

After Chester's' proposition I battled with myself for weeks, considering every pros and cons about it and if I should accept it. There was too much to think about - the clinic and my job, my family, my friends, and my beautiful country. I would have to leave all of that behind just to be with him. Would it be worth it?

I never got out of my country. Never met foreign countries, not even the closest ones, and now he wanted me to move to a new country, to a big city, all across the ocean. That's crazy.

I talked to my business partners about the possibility of moving to New York. Of course, I could run the business from miles away. After all, what's technology for? But we all know it wouldn't be that simple. I wouldn't be able to do my work as well as I do it living in Portugal. On the other hand, I couldn't be out of a job. What would I do if I move in with Chester?  

I love what I do. But I also love Chester.

I knew that day would come, but I wasn't really prepared for it and neither was he.

For the next weeks, Chester was so sweet and didn't press me to give him an answer. He understood how arduous it was to make that decision. He didn't know what he would do in my situation, but one thing he was certain: he wouldn't be without me.

After killing millions of neurons, one of my partners came up with an idea and I finally decided without thinking twice.

***

"Come on, hurry up. The cab's waiting!" Chester tried to make me walk faster. My surroundings amazed me so I just observed everything around me. After a long flight, we finally landed in New York. I opened a new clinic in America, sharing European medicine with the country. I would be specialized in horses. Chester had some connections and introduced me to potential clients. Companies from horses' races that needed a partner to take care of their animals. So I made a deal with one of those companies and I would work for them, with a straight partnership with the Portuguese clinic. 

I walked through the automatic glass doors of the airport, inspecting everything around me. Even though I was so tired for the almost 12 hours of flight, my eyes weren't closing any time soon. I wanted to see everything. I wanted to see what else movies don't show us.

New York is one of those places that has everything to captivate anyone from any place in the world. It's big, noisy, frantic, but also colorful, dynamic and full of entertainment.

One can even say NYC it is the synthesis in human nature, with all its contradictions - good and bad things living together. It acts with a magnet, attracting tourists, artists, philosophers, adventurers and mainly professionals of any category. Winning in New York is winning in the world - Big Apple, the City that Never Sleeps, Capital of the World, Melting Pot City or Empire City are just a few nicknames given to NYC.

"We're heading home. If you want to rest, that's fine. It's been a long flight. Then we can visit the city. I'll be your personal guide." Chester snapped me out of my trance. I was watching the view through the cab's' window, analyzing every little detail that somehow caught my attention.

"No. I want to see the city."I replied, never taking my eyes off the view.

Chester must have nodded, but I didn't pay him much attention.

For what I saw on our way to the hotel I could be sure of one thing: the city is fully mixed - they have heterogeneous styles, with various and varied facets translated into their appearance, gastronomy, spoken languages, and races, as well as colors and sounds.

We stayed there for months. Chester would go to the studio to record the album and I would go to work, and - in my spare time - I would just walk around the streets, taking pictures and experiencing new things. I visited places completely different from each other. Art, architecture, old things, and very modern things. The city goes from chaos to charm in the blink of an eye, and around the corner, everything can change: scenery, energy, ethnicity ... I found dirt and mess and places with an alternative footprint and/or Rock-and-roll, Hip Hop... It was like changing countries every day.

Of course, I miss my hometown - the city as old as time. But I could admit after a few weeks that the big city was growing on me.

Chester and the rest of the band had a mansion in Manhattan, near West Harlem, with six rooms, being three of them suites. Chester and I had one of the suites (obviously) with a beautiful view over the Hudson River, where everything was quieter at night.

The band had a long day of work and got home tired but happy for what they have been working on.

"Hey," Chester approached me and kissed my forehead. I was sitting on the edge of a window, reading a book and occasionally gazing at the view in front of me. The river was illuminated on each side and you could travel with your eyes all the way up the river, following the lights. I was taking mental pictures of the view. I would try to draw it one of those days. "How was your day?"

"It was alright. I had a horse with a broken leg today. The owner is a 14 years old girl. She had been racing since she was 9 and she had an accident. She's alright, but I think her horse won't be able to race ever again." Chester's' eyes softened, and he embraced me in his arms, holding me close to him. "But it's ok, it's part of the job."

"And I know you did your best." Then he called the rest of the members, all of them gathering around us, with wide smiles on their faces.

"Ok, you're intimidating me smiling like that." I set the book aside and turned my body around, my legs falling from the edge of the window while I remained sitting on the frame. 

"Well, we've been talking... I told them about your drawings." I gasped and punched Chester in the arm. "Ouch! We want to ask you to draw things for our new album."

"What? No, I can't!" 

"You can. And it won't be the cover, don't worry. It will the book of the songs of the album."

"You're mad. You're all mad." I said, getting away from their sight.

"Oh, come on. Chester said you were that good and we trust him. Come on. You won't be doing it alone. We will give you ideas." Mike approached me, stopping me from entering my room. He put his hands on my shoulders and smiled tenderly. "At least, think about it."

"Ok," I answered and went straight to my bathroom to take a shower. 

For some time I was alone, removing all of my clothes and getting ready to enter the hot water. As soon as the water fell on my skin, I shivered and relaxed. Chester entered the bathroom slowly as if he was afraid that someone would hit him. That someone could be me.

I noticed his presence and looked at him by the corner of my eye.

"You're not mad at me. Are you?" He asked with his puppy eyes he knew very well I couldn't resist.  _Damn him._ I didn't answer him, so he took off his clothes as well and entered the shower, pulling me closer to his body. I swear every time he does that it feels like the first time. He's always so warm, so welcoming. "Are you mad?" He kissed my shoulders, my neck and licked my earlobe.

"Why did you tell them that? It was something personal." I tried to protest, but he was trying to seduce me with his lips.

It was working.

"I know but I wanted this album to be different. To be special. It is more than anything else the band ever made. It is from the deepest corners of my heart. And it will be even more special with your touch." He kissed my neck again, sucking it gently and bitting it until I trembled under him. "Besides... you're good. And we only want to best for our album."

"You should have asked me before..." I replied but I was too distracted with his mouth. And when his hands traveled down to my core, I couldn't remember why I was mad in the first place.

"You would have said no." He smirked as he felt the already wet folds burning and aching for his touch.

"You know me too well..."

"Yes, yes I do," he whispered before penetrating me with his index finger until I couldn't handle the weight of my body and my legs failed on me.

***

Night after night, Chester would come home, tired of his day of work, but always with a smile on his face. But one night, when they were working late, and I was all alone in the house, someone knocked on the door.

I furrowed my brows. It couldn't be them, they had the keys. Anyone who wanted to get in would have to pass through the security guard. 

Slowly I approached the door and opened it just enough to see who was on the other side. My stomach twisted inside my belly and rage started boiling inside me _. Tabitha._

"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked harshly, not opening the door fully. "Chester's' not home."

"I know. I'm here to talk to you. To say I'm sorry. Can I come in?" 

"Sorry? And you think I believe in that bullshit?" I asked.

"It's already hard to be here as it is, don't make it harder, please. I just want to talk."

I considered her request for a while, but since I had nothing to lose, I figured it wouldn't hurt anybody to let her speak.

"Alright. You have two minutes. Make it count."

She entered slowly, scanning the room all around her, smiling when her eyes landed on the huge Linkin Park picture in the living room. 

"One minute," I said impatiently at the silent girl.

"I know I've been a bitch, and I was insane. Chester was an obsession. I can see that now. And I'm truly sorry for everything I did. If you knew me, you would know I'm not like that. I-- Chester is a very important person in my life but I understand that loves you. And I respect that. I hope one day you two will be able to forgive me."

Not knowing if I could trust her I kept my arms crossed and my expression blank. 

"You have nothing to apologize for. Take care of yourself above anyone else. Whatever is happening to you, it's not worth to destroy your life for that."

"Thank you," Tabitha said smiling, and I raised a hand, not letting her speak further.

"But I don't want you near me ever again. And Chester." She was about to open her mouth to protest but I interrupted her, opening my front door. "Look, I get it. You were sick. You can see that now. But either way, you hurt us. Chester the most. Severely. So forgive me if I don't want your presence around. I have nothing else against you, nor wish you a bad life. On the contrary. Just... do it away from us."

She said nothing else and left me alone in the house. I closed the door and leaned against it, taking deep breaths, slowly calming down my pounding heart. Trying to decide what to do next, I ended up going to bed. I was too tired to wait up for them and as soon as I felt the pillow under my head I fell asleep.

I don't know how much time I've been sleeping, nor what I was dreaming about when Chester woke me up scared.

I groaned and opened my eyes with difficulty since some stupid ass decided to turn the lights on.

"Catarina? Cat! Are you alright?"

"No!" I protested, pulling the blanket over my head. "Let me sleep."

Chester insisted on waking me up. I sighed and sat on the bed, gasping when I saw everyone inside the room with terrifying looks on their faces.

"What? What happened?"

"The guard said Tabitha was here. Are you ok? Did she made anything to you?" Chester asked, sitting on the bed and hugging me tightly to his chest.

"Ah! That... I'm ok, and no, she didn't do anything. She came here to talk."

"Oh. Did she? She didn't hurt you?" Chester asked with his furrowed brows.

"Yes, why? Is that bad?"

"No..." He started talking but Mike interrupted him.

"We think she's still not over Chester's' obsession and we thought she might want to hurt you since we weren't home. We had our eyes on her and we know that she's been watching our house. The guards didn't know that she wasn't allowed to get in. They know now."

"She's been watching us?" Mike nodded, and I turned to Chester, who was looking at me with sadness and with a scared look in his eyes. "And why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to scare you..." He admitted.

"What did she talked to you about?" Mike interrupted his friend once again, afraid that this would turn to a discussion between us. Two weeks ago, when they found out that Tabitha was being released from the clinic she was in, they put someone after her to follow her every step. They knew she was watching them up close, walking by their house almost every day to study their routines. Mike insisted with Chester to tell me everything and to hire a bodyguard for me. But he refused, saying I shouldn't be worrying about that, that it would scare me. He would make things right by himself. But he failed.

"She only said she was sorry for everything she did. And she admitted it was only an obsession. And I asked her to get away from us for good and that I don't wish her bad. Then she left."

A wave of silence hit the room. Everyone was confused with that attitude. None of them was sure if it was safe to believe in Tabitha. I wasn't too. But as long as she keeps her distance, I was fine with it.

The rest of the band members just nodded their heads and said goodnight, turning around to leave the room. Before closing the door, Mike smiled at me and turned off the light.

"Thank you!" I yelled sarcastically.

Then I turned to Chester. He was staring at the wall, lost in his own thoughts and only came back to the real world when he felt my hands cupping his cheeks, making him look at me.

"I'm alright, Chester."

A tear strolled down his cheeks, and he closed his eyes, smelling the scent of the red fruits lotion I put on my body every day before going to bed. Even with the lights off, I could see the frame of his face with the lights of the city coming through the window. And was still gorgeous in the dim light.

"I wanted to protect you. And I failed once again."

"Chester, nothing happened." I tried to make him look at me but his eyes remained closed. I moved my body closer to him, sitting on his lap, face to face. Then, he slowly opened his teary eyes. "I'm here. I'm alright."

"I'm so sorry..." He tried to talk, but I kissed his lips.

"You have nothing to apologize for."

"I should have warned you... They told me to hire a bodyguard to keep you safe but..." He gulped and looked down.

"You know me too well and knew that I would never accept that." He looked at me once again with those apologetic self-judging dark orbs. "You didn't want to scare me. I get that. And nothing happened. I'm alright."

"If I ever lose you..." He pushed me against the bed, laying his body on top of mine, but always looking me in the eyes, looking for comfort.

"You will never lose me, Chester." I smiled. "You're stuck with me, rockstar."

"And you with me." He kissed me passionately but then he jumped out of bed, walking to his bag. He searched there for something and he handed me a CD. "This is it. It's recorded.  _One more light_."

I widened my eyes at him, and threw my arms around his neck, planting lots of kisses on his lips and making him laugh.

"Already? I bet it's amazing! I want to hear it."

He took the CD from my hands and hide it behind his back. I tried to grab it but he pushed me away.

"Uh-uh. Have you thought about the proposition to draw for us?" He asked.  _Smart ass._

"Yes, I thought about it. But I need to hear it first. Only then I can tell you if I'm able to make anything for you. I need to feel the music before working on the paper." I said all matter-of-factly, and he raised a brow.

"Alright." He set the CD on the bedside table and looked at me. "But you do that tomorrow. Now I need to have you in my arms."

"And I need to sleep. Never, ever wake me up like that again. You could be a dead man by now." 

Kissing him one last time, I lay my head on his chest and felt him smiling warmly at me.

"I will remember that next time." He kissed the top of my head and slowly I started drifting away back to my peaceful sleep.

In the middle of the night, I woke up, sleepless. Part of me knew exactly why I was awake, so I turned my head to check on the peaceful Chester sleeping shirtless on the left side of the bed and tried to get out slowly. I didn't want to wake him up, so I walked on my toes around the bed, grabbed the CD and left the bedroom. 

On the living room, everything was even quieter. Chester's' breathing slowly was the most relaxing sound in the world. I smiled at the thought while I tried to find some headphones. I picked the black ones from the kitchen counter; it was Rob's', but he wouldn't mind. Then I tried to find a paper and a pencil and headed back to the living room.

Putting the CD on the radio, and connecting the headphones, I sat on the floor and closed my eyes.

 

************************

 

[Linkin Park - One More Light Live at Rock Werchter 2017](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=im0XNsWct_k)

 

_"And you're angry, and you should be, it's not fair_

__Just 'cause you can't see it, doesn't mean it, isn't there"_ _

 

One more light by Linkin Park.

**Well, I do. We all do.**


	14. Chapter 14

Chester woke up slowly, groaning once he felt the bed empty on the side I should be in. He raised his beautiful head, scanning the room for any sign of me, but there was none. Then something occurred through his mind and he turned his head to his bedside, finding it empty. 

He smiled but felt nervous at the same time.

He knew I would listen to the new album once I had an opportunity. In one hand, he was nervous that I didn't like it. He wrote his heart and his soul in those lyrics and those melodies. He really wanted that album to be a mirror of his true feelings and most of those good feelings existed because I was in his life. On the other hand, he wanted me to help them finish the album with the drawings for the book. It would be the icing on the cake and would complete the idea of the whole album.

Slowly he walked to the bathroom to check if I was there. Nothing.

Then he stepped out of the bedroom, only wearing his black boxers (failing to conceal his morning erection). He walked silently, hoping that no one was awake and entered the living room. He scanned all the way around, furrowing a brow when he didn't see me anywhere. Then he entered the kitchen, only to find it empty.

"Where the hell is that crazy girl?" He muttered to himself. Since I was nowhere to be seen he decided to cook something for breakfast. He opened the fridge door and picked up some eggs, cheese, and ham, some orange juice, and some strawberries. Then he took a cooking pan and made an omelet, washed and cut the strawberries. Soon after he was happily eating his breakfast.

"Good morning," Rob said, entering the kitchen.

"Good morning," Chester replied with his mouthful of food.

"Uh, I need some coffee," Rob grunted while he turned the coffee machine on.

"Hey, good morning." Mike appeared in the kitchen with his hair all messed up and yawning.

"Hey," Chester greeted.

"How's Cat?" He asked and the rest of the people in the kitchen stopped to listen attentively.

"Out of bed and nowhere to be seen." He stated. "She's alright, I guess."

"Did she give you a hard time yesterday? Over the Tabitha matter?" Mike asked, worried about his best friend' wellbeing.

"No, not at all. She was the sweetest thing. Understood immediately why I did want to tell her. She never ceases to amaze me." He admitted, looking down to his plate smiling like a teenager in love.

"Awwww..." They all said in unsound. 

"When will you ask the girl to marry you?" Rob asked and Brad elbowed him.

"Actually, I..." Chester started talking and Mike widened his eyes. Once he was about to open his mouth to speak, they all became silent as they heard the main door opening. Chester got up from the chair, walking towards the entry hall.

"Good morning, rockstar," I said smiling and holding with difficulty the bags in my hands. Chester ran to my side to carry the bags for me.

"Hey, beautiful," he planted a kiss on my lips. "Where have you been?"

"Shopping."

"Clearly, I can see that." He said sarcastically, and I rolled my eyes.

"I have drawings to do."

Chester stopped his walk, freezing in place. He stared at me, with shiny eyes, hoping that meant that I accepted their proposal.

"I heard the album during the night. I... I felt like I needed to draw my feelings out because I can't actually express how much I loved every song on that album. Chester, it's amazing...  It's completely different from what Linkin Park usually does. It sounds more like... you. More personal, even deeper. I can't explain it. I just need to draw. You do what you want to do with the drawings later. Either you use them or not, I have to express my feelings some way."

Chester could come up with a romantic sentence that makes my heart skip a beat but his face turned into a wicked smirk.

"I can think of another way for you to show me your feelings." I widened my eyes, almost letting my handbag fall from my hand. 

Behind me, I heard someone coughing and turned around to see the rest of the guys too embarrassed for overhearing the conversation.

"Uh, thank you for accepting  the proposition?" Mike said awkwardly, looking anywhere but us. The remaining crowd gradually disappeared from the living room, trying to get away from that situation. Before closing the main door, Mike looked back at his best friend Chester, staring mockingly at him. So he made a grimace before disappearing.

Chester turned his head back to me and smirked.

"Where were we?"

***

A month later, the drawings were ready and digitally prepared for the album. Everything was going too well. Sometimes I stopped and wondered why life was being so good to me. After all the pain, I was fine. I was more than fine. 

Before Chester, I was the shy and scared little girl, trying to appear strong to the outside world, while, deep inside, she had her heart broken into tiny pieces.

Now, I found love. A love so strong that I never believed it truly existed; I had friends for the first time in my life, real friends; I do what I love and I still live my life like a princess. 

I thanked God several times for that blessing, but I was always expecting something to happen that would ruin everything. Then I also wondered how would my life be if I didn't have a horrifying past. If I would be there with Chester. All my life I wished that I didn't go through all that hell. But I know if I didn't had that past, I wouldn't probably be with him. So I was in a phase in my life that I was grateful for everything that life taught me.

"Hurry up, we will be late for the dinner, man!" Mike yelled at Chester's bedroom door. He was still getting ready for the party. They would commemorate the release of the album that night, after dinner. First big party. The last one didn't go that well. But it was a year ago, it was time to let it go. 

"I'm nervous..." Chester admitted, staring at his own image at the mirror.

"For what? The album?" Mike calmed down once he saw the pale face of his friend. He sat on the edge of our bed and listened to Chester.

"Not only, but yes. I'm afraid of the fans' reaction. I'm afraid of the tour. I'm afraid of how this will affect my relationship with Cat."

"I don't think you need to worry about that. She's amazing, you know that? And look at everything that's been going on the past years. She comes to your life, her life wrecked as it was, and she helped you through the pain. She healed you, man. I will be forever grateful for her, no matter what. And after everything, she's here. With you. With us. You shouldn't be afraid. If she came this far, she'll endure whatever's to come."

Chester looked at his friend with a shocked and amused expression.

"Where did you learn to talk like that?"

"I'd do anything to get your ass out of the house. We're late." He smiled and walked to the door. "But I mean it. You have nothing to worry about. Come, don't let the girls wait too much."

Chester nodded and took a last look at the mirror. Mike was right, and deep down he was aware of that. But he was worried either way. Taking a deep breath, he left the room and headed to the garage. 

Me and the rest of the girls, Anna, Heidi and Vanessa (Rob's new girlfriend) went out after work. They insisted on going to the salon to get our hair, makeup, and nails done. As much as hate those kinds of stuff, I went anyway. In fact, I needed some girl time, so I accepted the invitation.

We would meet the guys at this five-stars Thai restaurant. Too much for my taste, of course. When we arrived, they weren't there; they were late, so we made our way to our seats and ordered drinks and continued our long conversation about our jobs since we work in different areas.

"Look who's finally here," Anna said sarcastically, accepting a kiss on her cheek from her husband Mike.

"Chester was unsure if he should wear pink lace panties or none." This earned him a poke from Chester on his arm.

Chester took his seat next to me and his eyes wandered my dress after a kiss on the cheek. He smiled at me, nodding his head as if he enjoyed my outfit for the night. I might even say that there was a sparkle behind his polite eyes, something arousing.

"Well, I propose a toast first," Rob said, holding his glass in the air and getting up from his chair. "A toast to our hard work and a pray for it to be well received by our loyal fans."

"Amen, brother," David answered and then we drank a sip.

The rest of the dinner was enjoyable, as always. Mike would always get into fights with Chester, mocking each other as much as possible and entertaining the table the best they could. I realized sometimes I stared at Chester too much whenever he was talking, but I couldn't help it. He had this peaceful aura around him; an angelic glow, like he was truly happy. And the smile on his face was the most real I've seen in years. He truly found himself and I was so thankful for being a part of it.

The party wasn't so entertaining as dinner. There were so many people in the room, all well suited up, people that I never saw in my life. And they would put the fakest smile and pose for photos so foolishly.

"We will be going soon, honey. Don't worry." Chester whispered in my ear, after observing my troubled face. I looked at him and furrowed my brows, making him smile. "I feel the same about the people in this room, but it's needed. They can be stupid as fuck, but they are important."

"I know... It's just... They are so... artificial?" I tried to find the right words but nothing better came to my mind.

"Yes. Unfortunately, yes. But this business isn't easy. There are tremendous good people, but there are also disgusting ones."

"Like in everything in life, I guess," I answered, examining, once again, the room around us.

Soon after we were back to hour mansion, to our lovely suite, finally able to relax in each other's arms, talking about the future.

"It's going to be hard for the next six months. I would be away most of the times and we'll be together on weekends, if possible." He whispered and I felt his heart beating faster inside his heart. He was nervous. Not only because he was going to be away from me but also because he wasn't sure how I felt about it. "I want you to know that this is going to be the hardest thing I have to do. Being away."

"I'm going to miss you... I'm going to miss waking up every morning by your side; having dinners with you every night and talk about stuff from work. But I'll be waiting for you to return and I'll even travel to wherever you are every time I can."

"Would you do that? Spend every weekend with me? Visit new countries for me?" He asked, lifting my chin with his index finger.

"Of course I would. I'd be miserable here without you for six months! I came with you to New York to be with you. I would travel every day if needed just for five minutes with you."

His worried expression melted almost instantly, and he pulled me closer to his arms, kissing my lips passionately. I've been with him for almost two years and I swear that every time I feel his touch I quiver like the first time. His lips still have the power to hypnotize me. I think I would do anything he asked if he kept on kissing me like that.

He pulled away, gently brushing the tip of his nose against mine.

"But for now, the first show is here and the next are near New York. Only after the fifth show, I'll be farther away," He stated.

"Well, I think we should enjoy our time together, don't you think?" 

Chester smirked and attacked my neck, kissing me and tickling me in the process. It seems like we were about to go to round two that night.

***

Two weeks after the release of  _One More Light_ , the  _One_ _More Light Tour_  was about to start. That night would be the first of many shows, and I was blessed to see Linkin Park live for the first time. Somehow I was so excited and nervous, even though I was present in every rehearsal. I never grow tired of hearing them play, and most importantly, of hearing Chester's angel voice. It causes me a twirl of emotions that I can't even begin to describe.

I was in the VIP zone, right in front of the stage, after the safety barriers. Security guards were everywhere, eyes attentive to any possible danger, but that didn't stop Chester from jumping out of the stage and get close to the crowd.

He said he  _wanted to feel them, after years away he believes he should be close to his fans. The closer, the better._

I always knew they had such a good deal of chemistry on stage, the melody always on sync, but Chester's voice was stronger than ever. It was like they were still the same, but different at the same time. There was something else there, something good. Something warmer. It was like Linkin Park was reborn. 

The crowd was going crazy, singing and screaming along the lyrics of the song, most of them crying through all the show. And every time Chester talked to them, opened his heart to them, they would cry even more and scream his name out loud.

And I was there, watching my surrounding, mesmerized with the scenario and singing along with Chester and Mike. But as much as I wanted to take in everything around me, my eyes couldn't leave Chester. They just couldn't. It was like he was a magnet and my eyes were a piece of metal. 

The last song they sang was Battle Symphony like a hymn for hope and love. Chester wanted everyone in that show to sing along with him.

"Whenever the world is being hard on you, if someone tells you that you're not good enough, even if that someone is yourself, don't listen. There's always someone out there meant for you, someone who's life' mission is to make you happy, and to ease the pain." His eyes fell on me for a second, but then he was back to the crowd. "Maybe that person is yourself. You just need to find it and face the rest of the world. I wish you all good night and for you to return to your homes safe and sound."

By the end of the concert, I was speechless and my eyes were teary. After the last speech, I couldn't hold the tears anymore. I just saw him right where he belonged, where he was truly happy. That was an image I wanted to memorize until the day I die.

Only after a good five minutes after the show was finished, I was able to move from my place and walked with the security guards to the backstage. Anna, Heidi, and Vanessa were talking and laughing, but I was simply not there. I was lost in my thoughts.

Chester's' laugh reverberated through the hall that led to the backstage. The band was gathered in the corridor near the dressing rooms, each door containing each member's' name.

Once I turned around and saw them, something unusual hovered my body. Something burning in my lower core. Something erotic. The way his pale torso glowed because of the sweat and the devotedness he always put on stage, was inexplicably arousing. Sex with Chester is extraordinary. It's passionate. Filled with love and care for each other. But what I felt that moment was something else entirely different. It was like a wildfire. I found myself imagining pushing Chester inside his dressing room' door, locking the door behind him and take the rest of his clothes off. Never wanting to look away from his dark sultry eyes, I slowly kneeled in front of him, adjusting my mouth to swallow his length...

"Hey, Cat!" Mike snapped me out of my inappropriate thoughts and I almost groaned in frustration.

Somehow, my imagination got the best of me and my breathing was a little uneven, my cheeks were crimsoned and my light brown eyes were dark. Lewdly dark.

Chester turned around with a warm smile on his lips, but once his eyes fell on me it was like I transferred him a piece of my mind. His shiny brown eyes disappeared behind the dark dilated pupil and he parted his lips slightly.

"So, what do you think?" Mike asked once I was near them. I could smell Chester's' intense scent of Hugo Boss perfume and I breathed it in slowly, my senses tingling and craving for his touch.

"You are astounding on stage, you know that? I'm so amazed by the show, the crowd... God, that was good!"

"Cool, cool. I'm glad you liked it." He drank another sip from his beer and they all continued a happy conversation for more five minutes until Chester decided to talk.

"Well, I need a shower if you don't mind. I'll grab my stuff and get back to the hotel." Chester interrupted the conversations like he was hurrying them or something.

"Oh, come on, let's celebrate. It's our first show." Rob protested, but Chester already made up his mind for what he intended to do.

"That's exactly why I need to rest." He answered and Mike grinned immediately. He knew exactly why his friend was so persistent about leaving. So he interrupted the conversation and persuaded their friends to go party without Chester and me.

Once they turned around to leave, my eyes were locked on them, too lost in thoughts to acknowledge the wild look Chester was giving me. He had to hold himself not to pin me against the white corridor' walls, so he grabbed my hand - snapping me out of my trance - and pushed me inside his dressing room.  _Well, it appears I wasn't the only one with the same plans._

He locked the door behind him, heading directly to the couch. He sat there, and took a deep breath, exhaling all the electricity he still had running his body for being on stage for the first time in two years.

"I wanted to pay attention to our fans. I wanted to sing for them. To make up for the two years I've been away. But I couldn't take my eyes off of you. All the effort and all the love I gave on that stage was for you, and you only." He said humbly, his head resting on the back of the couch as he stared at the ceiling.

"I know I couldn't take my eyes off of you. I've seen you on stage on videos, but that was... wow. It is entirely different. You..." I approached him, feeling my heart already beating faster and the blood running through my veins, burning on my lower belly. "You looked like a God."

I sat on his lap, legs joined behind his waist and he looked at me with the same wild look he showed before.

His hands traveled from my tights to my hips, following the curves of my waist and resting on the crook of my neck. His fingers were intertwined with my hair, caressing my head so tenderly.

"For a long time there, there was only you and me. The rest of the world disappeared." Chester admitted, his gaze falling on my lips.

"I would love to have a private show," I said playfully, and he grinned.

"I might give you one. What would you give me in return?" He asked, and I lifted a brow.

Slowly, I let my body fall to the floor, right in front of him, not daring to look away from his eyes. He had this seductive but lovely look behind his shiny brown eyes. And I couldn't stare anywhere else. So my hands went down on him at the same time I positioned myself in the middle of his legs, kneeling in front of him. Then, I unbuttoned his black pants, opening them and pulling them down along with his matching boxers.

My eyes abandoned Chester's eyes and gazed down to his erection. It never ceases to amaze me how big he gets when he's aroused. And I don't have any idea how I am able to take him all inside of me whenever he's pounding against my hips.

I licked my lips, locking my eyes in his again and approached slowly his hard member. I teased him just a little, kissing the tip and smiling when his dick twitched in my hand. Then I opened my mouth and sucked it, just a little further, slowly opening my mouth to swallow him entirely. He made the sexiest groan ever and I couldn't take it anymore; I started sucking him faster and harder with the help of my hand, and he almost jumped in surprise. His left hand grabbed the couch tightly, and the other landed on my head, intertwining his fingers with strands of my brown hair.

"Fuck!" Escaped his mouth. And again. Along with loud moans. Like I've never heard him make before. "That's good..."

"How do you like it more? Like this?" I asked, sucking harder around the tip. "Or like this?" And I opened my mouth, swallowing all his length until he hit the back of my throat. Pushing the gagging reflex away, I took him further inside me and he even quivered as he let out an even louder moan.

"You're going to be the death of me." He whispered, panting.

I looked at him and smirked.

"What is it?" He asked.

I didn't answer him. Pulling myself up, I found my way back to his lap. But before, I took my nude pantyhose and panties off and made him penetrate me. He wasn't expecting that, so another moan escaped his mouth and another "fuck".

Then I started riding him. Like I never did before.

His hands rested on my hips, helping me through my movements up and down and I could feel my juice spreading all over his length as his moans echoed through the walls of his dressing room. 

Chester knew that with the pace I was riding him he wasn't able to hold it any longer. As soon as he laid his eyes on me once he was on stage, he was praying for it to go unnoticed that he was more than aroused: I was wearing a Linkin Park white tank top, with a black pleated skirt, hair in a half up-down and little makeup; and he thought that outfit as arousing as it was beautiful. 

And now that his eyes were having the most lovely sight of me riding him, he didn't want to hold it any longer; he wanted to fill me inside.

He licked the tip of his index and middle finger and started rubbing my clitoris under the skirt. Once I felt his tender touch I let my head fall back and moaned as my pleasure started to increase. Something was burning deep in my lower core and it was making me weak. Chester grabbed my waist with his other hand to keep me on a quick pace. He didn't want me to slow down or stop, he only wanted me to continue wild and thirsty for him.

"Come on baby, come for me." He said, trying to conceal his moans as his dick was hardening and twitching inside of me, begging to release his seed.

"Almost there, keep going." Hearing those words, Chester increased the speed of his fingers, rubbing me even faster, making me tremble on top of him. 

Our moans were loud and in sync as both our orgasms were exploding from inside of our bodies. I finally reached my climax, releasing the juice from inside of me, at the same time he filled me with his. And slowly I continued rubbing myself on him until both our orgasm wear off.

"That was... amazing," Chester whispered, still panting. I was leaning against his chest, my head buried in the crook of his neck.

"That's what you get for being ravishing." That earned me a laugh from Chester.

"Well, it seems to me that I'll want you in every concert." He kissed my cheek and pulled me closer to his embrace, smelling my perfume. "Let's go home and get a shower."

"Finally! I'll be able to take off your clothes at last." 

He looked at me with an amused expression. "What have I done? I turned you into a sex monster. A ninfo, I might say."

"You're calling me a ninfo?" He got up from the couch, returning soon after with a damped towel to get me cleaned.

"Yes, I am. What you're going to do about it? Sex me to death?" He mocked me.  _The asshole was mocking me._ I stole the towel from his hands and threw it to his face, getting up from the couch to get myself together. "YUH! What was that for?"

"For calling me a ninfo."

This caused Chester to storm towards me, pushing me against the wall behind me. I gasped in surprise but he didn't mind. He glued his body to mine, holding me between him and the wall. One of his hand intertwined his fingers in my hair, pulling my head back and exposing my bare neck.

"Yeah? I bet you won't be able to resist me when we get home." He kissed my neck and bit it carefully, making me quiver in his arms. Then he let one of his hands travel down my body until he reached for my skirt. Slowly, while his lips kept on making me crazy, he lifted up the skirt and slipped the panties to the side. "I'll strip down all of my clothes and let the hot water wash off my body. I bet you won't be able to resist and I will end up fucking you from behind because you begged me to do so." A moan escaped my mouth once his fingers started caressing my folds, carefully rubbing my clit. "See? We just had sex and you're already wet for me. That's how addicted you are."

I let out another moan, but this was a frustrated one since he pulled away from me, leaving me wet and trembling. I wanted to grumble, to scold him, but I wasn't capable of saying a word... 

And in the end, Chester was right. He did fuck me from behind in the shower.


	15. Chapter 15

The following weeks were harder than I expected. I was left alone in a big mansion that was usually full of life.

Sitting at my usual spot - the window's frame -, with a cup of hot chocolate in my hand, I was in a mix of watching the stars in the night sky and looking to the empty living room. In my head, I imagined the typical night in the house: Mike would be playing his guitar to his wife, Anna; Rob and David would be drinking beers; Joe would already be asleep on the edge of the couch; Heidi and Vanessa would be chatting, Chester would be writingsome lyrics on the paper while his eyes occasionally fell on me; And I would be in that same place, in the window, reading my books and taking mental pictures of those casual but sweet moments.

And how I missed them.

A cold winter breeze made me shiver and snuggle myself with my light brown jacket. Drinking another sip of my chocolate, and after looking at the clock, I leaned my head against the window's frame, closed my eyes, and imagined Chester going on stage. It was about time for their 14th concert to begin. They would be performing for 50 nights straight. Sometimes twice in the same country, but mainly once in each country, only in America. For now.

As I was imagining Chester's naked torso and him screaming and singing his songs, there was a ring in the bell and the security's voice could be heard.

"Miss. Catarina? I have something for you."

"I'll open the front door. And it's Cat, we've talked about this." I smiled, and I heard a small laugh from the other side. Jeff was Chester's most trusted bodyguard. He worked for Chester for maybe 15 years now and he never let him down. He was his personal bodyguard, but before going on the tour he insisted on leaving Jeff with me, to keep me safe. From reporters, or paparazzi. And especially from Tabitha. He was doing a pretty good job, I must say. I was not even once pestered by anyone.

"May I come in?" He said, knocking gently on the front door.

"Of course. What is it?"

He didn't come inside just yet; he stood behind the door, only peeking with his head. He had this amused expression and his green eyes twinkling with excitement.

"Chester asked me for a favor. He knows you feel all alone in this house. So he wants you to have company." Then he entered the house, with a brown and white Shiba Inu puppy with a red ribbon on his collar.

"OH.MY.GOD." I yelled, jumping up and down, too hysterical for my usual calm posture. I ran to Jeff's side taking the puppy in my arms, watching him with teary eyes.

"He knew you would like it. And feel free to leave the dog with the other guards whenever you need to travel our of town, or out of country. Also, there's this postcard from him." He handed me the beautiful postcard from Peru and I squeezed it against my chest, thanking Jeff for the surprise. "Well, that was all Chester's. But I took the liberty to complement the gift. "

He opened the door fully and there was a cart with two bags of puppy's food, two bowls for the food, a cozy dog' bed and some toys. Placing the dog on the floor, I hugged Jeff before finding the perfect spot for the new tenant.

When I was comfortable on the couch with the puppy sleeping on my lap, I opened the envelope with the postcard. I took a postcard and a ticket plane to Brasil. Squealing with the excitement I read the short letter Chester wrote on the postcard.

_I will be soon in Brasil for two shows. And I was_ _laying_ _in my_ _bed_ _,_ _imagining_ _you_ _walking_ _around_ _the_ _amazing_ _Brazilian_ _beaches_ _in your little yellow bikini that I love so_ _much_ _. Then I_ _thought_ _, what the_ _hell_ _? Why would I be_ _imagining_ _you if I_ _could_ _have you t_ _here_ _with me? There's a plane ticket for next Friday night._ _I'll_ _be_ _waiting_ _for you at the front gates of the_ _airport_ _._

_I miss you so much_ _._

_Love you._

_PS. I hope your_ _new_ _company_ _is of your_ _liking_ _._

_P.P.S. As_ _soon_ _as you_ _choose_ _a_ _name_ _for the_ _dog_ _,_ _call_ _me. Please,_ _call_ _it Mike. I_ _can't_ _wait to_ _yell_ _"Mike, I_ _told_ _you to stop_ _shitting_ _on my_ _bedroom_ _' floor!"_

I muffled a laugh reading those words. Even away, Chester never stops to make me laugh. But suddenly I felt a sharp pain inside my heart: I missed him so fucking much! Three weeks! Three weeks since I last saw him. Since I kissed him the last time. I worked for two whole weekends, and thank God I wasn't working in the next, and the coolest part? I took Monday and Tuesday off.

The rest of the week was so slow. It was like the Gods were messing with my heart, keeping me waiting to see the love of my life after so many weeks apart. Of course, he called me all the time, made video calls, sent photos. But that only hurt me even more because I couldn't feel him, nor kiss him. And that was pure torture.

And after 10 hours of flight, I finally landed on São Paulo, Brasil.

The first thing I thought was, "Finally, I can hear some Portuguese!" Because everyone around me was speaking and even though it's a different dialect, it was comfortable to hear some Portuguese words.

As promised, Chester was on the front gate, with a wide smile on his face. I ran to his arms the faster I could, jumping to his lap. I buried my head on the crook of his neck, smelling his perfume. And he did the same.

"I missed you." He whispered, kissing my head all the way to the face. "I missed you so, so much."

"I missed you too... But now I have another Chazzy to keep my feet warm at night."

"Chazzy? Really? What about Mike?" He asked pretending to be offended. "I thought we had a deal!"

"I don't remember accepting any deal," I said, pulling him to an embrace as we walked out of that airport.

"Did you sleep on your flight?" He asked, opening the car's door for me.

"Yes, like a baby."

"Good." He kissed the tip of my nose once he got to the driver's seat. "You're about to meet São Paulo." And he drove through the roads, stopping whenever he wanted to show me something.

A country is not just about stereotypes, otherwise, Brazil would be just the land of samba, the beach, the Amazon, and of the Carnival. Fortunately, they're also the land of axé, maracatu, and bossa nova. Of the cerrado, the canyons, the mountains, and the Pantanal. Of the most famous New Year's Eve in the world, yes, but also of the feasts of the reign, of St. John, and of BoiBumbá. But more than that: Brazil always knows how to invent a little more. Every summer is elected a new beach of the year. Space for this isn't lacking - their coastline is of over seven thousand kilometers long.

Eventually, we stopped for lunch. Chester insisted to pay for it in his favorite restaurant and I ended up accepting his invitation. He would be in Brasil for five more days since he was having a show Sunday and Monday night. Then he would travel to Argentina, where he would have a show in Buenos Aires.

Brazilian cuisine is superb, tasty and diverse. Each of the Brazilian states has its typical dishes, prepared according to ancient traditions, which are transmitted to each generation. The meaning of food goes beyond the simple act of eating. Many traditions regard the hour of the meal as semi-sacred, of silence, composure, and severity. The table time should be respected, and inside there should be no guns, no hats on any head, and no one should eat without a shirt.

"What's all of this?" I asked once we sat on our seats in "Tesouros do Brasil" restaurant, with a great view of the ocean. You could also see the "Cristo Redentor" statue, with its arms open, 709 meters from the ocean level. It is a symbol of Christianity in Brazil that represents peace and love.

My eyes finally fell in the table in front of us, filled with various types of food.

"Typical food. It's delicious!" Chester was already picking up some kind of pastry called "Pastel de Freira". "It's crunchy and delicious, you should try it."

"Ok..." I hesitantly eat it. And Chester was right. It was delicious. Then he made me try something called Acarajé - the crust consists of black bean, onion, and salt, fried in palm oil. The filling may vary, but the most common are shrimp and vatapá. I also tried Vatapá, made with moldy bread damped to various flours, such as manioc or manioc flour. The differential, however, is in the seasoning: lots of onions, garlic, tomatoes, and coriander. The version I ate was made with chicken, but it's usually made with fish. At last, we ate Farofa, some corn flour or manioc, seasoned with salt, onion, garlic, and other dishes.

"And for dessert, my favorite, Quindim." He proudly said, leaning back on his chair, belly full. I thought I couldn't eat more, but I was wrong. And after Quindim we ate Bolo de Rolo, Beijinho, and Cajuzinho.

"So, where do we go now?" I asked once we stopped eating for good.

"I just want to roll over and sleep. I can't even move."

"Yeah, me too," I admitted. "But I have three days here with you, we can sleep later. Show me more."

And for four more hours, Chester drove his car and showed me the famous spots as Ibirapuera Park, the Metropolitan Cathedral of São Paulo, and the Municipal Park. We walked down the street called Beco do Batman, named after the graffiti based on the DC comics character, Batman. Before going to his hotel, Chester took me to the Museu do Futebol, since he knows I'm a Sportsgirl.

"Hey, look who's here!!!" Mike shouted once he saw me entering the hotel. I hugged all of them and talked for a while before going to our bedroom.

His room as simple, as usual. The furniture was black, but the decoration was silver and white, giving it a beautiful touch. The bedsheets were the softest I've ever felt. And the mattress felt like heaven.

Chester was leaning against the dresser, watching me appreciate every corner of the room. After weeks of being away, he wanted to take a mental picture of my presence in his hotel room. He took his time before moving to my side on his bed.

"I missed you." He whispered as his arms found their way to my waist, pulling me closer to him.

Even though I was tired as fuck, it didn't stop me for feeling aroused by his touch. He felt it. That's why he started caressing my arms and my back, feeling every curve I had to offer. Slowly he started to unbutton my shirt, exposing my pink lace bra. His favorite. This caused him to moan softly.

His mouth attacked my breasts, kissing and biting at the same time he positioned himself on top of me, between my legs. His hips started moving slowly, rubbing in the right place as his mouth devoured the skin on my chest.

"I missed you too. So badly." I said gasping.

*****

The next morning, after another lovemaking session in the shower, we took a walk through the beaches. I was wearing my yellow bikini, the same Chester was so eager to see, and a black lace beach dress. After lunch, we were supposed to go to the building where the concert would be held, but we ended up being late. Chester wanted to take off my bikini himself.

You could think that after watching them perform live several times it would become dull, but it didn't. Night after night, every weekend I visited them to be with Chester and see them on stage, it was like the first time. The band's harmony was just flawless, and they were doing more acoustics sets where you could hear Chester's powerful voice.

"Good morning beautiful," Chester whispered in my ears, planting soft kisses on my face. "It's time to wake up."

It's been a couple of weeks since I visited Brasil. Chester already had about 40 shows, which meant there were only more 10 to go. He visited Uruguay, Paraguay, Bolivia, Chile, and Ecuador, and several cities in those countries. And almost every weekend I would travel to wherever he was and spend Saturday and Sunday with him until it was time to go back to Manhattan. The flights were always too long, too exhausting, but in the end, it was worth it. That night we were in Colombia.

Hearing his voice made me wake up grumpy, so I groaned and turned my back to him. Chester smiled at the sight. I had my hair wrapped in a bun on the top of my head, which usually gives me a voluminous curly/wavy hair that he finds so sexy. I was wearing one of his long white t-shirts, that becomes a dress on my little body. And he couldn't help but feel excited because of the pointy nipples he could see through the t-shirt.

"You have to go, baby, you have that conference tomorrow morning, remember? Come on, sleepy head." Chester embraced me from me behind, but since he saw me comfortable grinding my ass against his crotch, he started bitting gently my neck. That didn't help either. "That's playing dirty!"

"Is it working?" I rubbed myself a little more against his already hard shaft.

"It is. But you have to go. Go and make me proud." He kissed my head but pulled the blankets away from me, making me groan.

"I'm going! I'm going. Jeez, no need to be a jerk!" I jumped out of bed, running to the bathroom for a morning shower.

"Isn't that why you love me?" His shiny brown orbs made my heart twitch and for a second I wished I was there with him all the time and that I didn't have to leave. But life is hard and not always as we expect it.

"Not only. But yes." I admitted, entering the shower.

Chester surprised me when I felt him entering the shower and hug me from behind, kissing my neck and shoulders and making me quiver under his touch.

"Don't get me wrong. I want you by my side. If I could, I would have you all for myself."

"I know," I gasped and turned around to face him. "I'm just... tired. I'm away from you all the time and when I'm with you, we can only be alone in our bedroom. And... that's it."

"This won't be always like this, I promise. But it's not it, is it?"

"I'm so happy that you're back to your old self. That you're better, healthier. Whenever I see you on stage, it's like you belong there... It's just out of this world. And when I'm all alone in Manhattan and think about you, I can't help but be scared. Scared of losing you." I avoided eye contact.

"Oh, honey, why would you think that way?" He cupped my cheeks and forced me to look at him. "It's just me, you can talk to me."

I gulped and got the courage to open my heart and my mind.

"You don't need me. You're amazing as you are. You're amazing on stage and off stage. And you have billions and billions of fans crazy about you, that would kill just to have a piece of you. Some of them are even supermodels and people accustomed to your world." He didn't say a word and kept his intense stare locked in me. And that didn't help at all. So I muffled a laugh, even though all I wanted to do was to cry. "I mean, look at me. It's not like I can compete with that."

Chester looked like he was in some kind of trance, lost between my eyes as if he as looking for something. But as a snap of a finger, he pushed me against the wall, pressing his naked body against mine.

"You are not aware of the nature of my feelings, are you? Can't you understand how much you mean? Yes, sure, a lot of women, hot women would kill for a piece of the vocalist of the Linkin Park, but can't you understand that Chester Charles Bennington only wants you? You are the love of my life, Cat. And nothing will change that. No distance, no women, no work, nothing. I love you, forever. And forever is not even enough for me."

And without letting me even answer, he crashed his lips against mine, kissing me deeply and as passionate as he could. What I thought were droplets of water were actually tears rolling down his cheek. He was feeling _that_ vulnerable.

"And if you can't understand how much my heart is yours..." He was panting for the intensity of the kiss. "I will spend the rest of my days telling you." Then he kissed the tip of my nose making me smile. "But now you have a plane to catch and a conference to present. Hurry up."

With a less heavy mind and a tightened heart, I said my goodbyes on the airplane gate, kissing Chester several "last times". It was another long flight back to Manhattan, so my mind kept on remembering Chester and all the moments we spent together. We were together for almost three years now. And what a rollercoaster it has been. I wondered what the future was holding for us...

Would it be good, or would be sad?


	16. Chapter 16

My work never gets boring. The last couple of months I was too busy to even think about Chester and miss him all the time like I used to. 

There was a serious case of a very promising racing horse that was poisoned. We even had to call the police to investigate the crime. Someone broke into the stables and poisoned the horse's food. At first, they assumed the animal was just tired. It slept through all day, barely ate or drank. But then the horse couldn't even get up and looked like it was in severe pain. 

I was called in early in the morning and as soon as I saw the animal I knew what happened. I sedated the poor creature and told my team to take it to the clinic. Then I called the police and assisted the forensic doctors to uncover the truth, by extracting and examining the traces of poison in food and on the floor. They loved my work so much that they even offered me a position in the National Animal Identification System (NAIS) that works directly with the police to fight bioterrorism.

For a moment I studied the feasibility - it would certainly be something else entirely different from what I was used to -, but then I put the idea to the side and decided to think about it later. They said the proposition would be open whenever I want, so no rush for me. Yay.

Finally, after six months and three weeks, Chester was about to get back from his tour. He was excited about it, as was I. We couldn't wait to be together every day again. To wake up next to each other, have dinner every night, or just being able to touch each other. But he never really told me the exact day he would come home to me.

"Hey, sweet baby." I picked up my ringing phone, Chester was on the other side of the line, panting. "What are you doing?"

"Hi, love, I just came out of the shower. If you called earlier, I would have missed your call."

There was a brief silence and I could hear him running.  _Odd._

"So, that means you're home alone, right?"

"I have Chazzy with me, but yes." Then I started laughing. "Don't even think about it. I won't make another sexy video call. I'll have to get some dinner and get some sleep, I'm getting up early in the morning."

"You still haven't eaten? Good, that means I'm on time!" 

"What do you mean?"

Then I heard a key on the main door's lock and my heart skipped a beat. I stared at the closed bedroom door, wishing I wasn't getting crazy and imagining things. My breathing was silent but unsteady and for a split of a second, I lost my hope until I saw the door being open.

There it was: the smile that makes my knees feeble. The dark brown eyes that can melt the coldest element on earth. The tattooed arms that I love to massage just to feel how soft, but firm they are.

"I brought dinner," he said, showing his hands with two boxes from McDonald's. "You once said you prefer dates that include McDonald's, right?"

"How do you remember that?" I gripped tightly the towel against my chest and Chester's eyes traveled from my bare feet to my wet hair falling down my shoulders. His eyes became darker but his sweet smile never faded away.

"I may be turning to an old man, but I still know my girl's tastes."

I smiled but remained frozen in place. My heart was beating too fast and my head was dizzy. It felt like I was dreaming.

"You brought the diner. I have dessert." I opened the towel and dropped it on the floor.

"May I skip dinner?" He asked playfully, approaching me slowly, and I laughed.

"Is it done? Are you back for good?" 

He nodded his head, placed the boxes on the bed and pulled me to a hug. Just like that. No kiss, no caress. Just a long and full of longing hug. Once Chester inhaled the scent of my red fruits' lotion, he finally relaxed  - _he was home_.

Then he kissed me as passionately as possible, his hands wandered my naked back, pulling me closer by my waist. Chester couldn't help it: he was already getting hard. But for some divine influence, he stopped himself, picked up one of my casual long-shirt that fit like a dress and told me to get dress. He went to the kitchen and dragged two chairs to the balcony that has an astonishing view over the river. I would be a perfect spot if it wasn't for the lack of stars due to the city lights. I was used to living in a small town, where you could see so many stars in the sky. It is truly fascinating to just lay down and watch at those sparkling spots and, occasionally, meteorites leaving a quick trace of light behind them, only to vanish in front of our eyes, as if by magic. That was one of the things I missed more about home.

"Come on, baby, let's eat."

For hours we talked about everything. About the past half year. About his adventures. About my job. And I even told him about the police proposition. He enjoyed that idea too much.

"Would you have to wear a police uniform?"

"Uh, no? I wouldn't join the police itself. I would wear my normal white gown attire."

"But wouldn't you have access to a police uniform?" He insisted with a grin on his lips.

"I don't think so, Chester. But if you want to see me in a police uniform so much, I can get one." I laughed.

He laughed too and relaxed in his chair, watching the view in front of his eyes.

"That would be nice."

The remaining members of the band only arrived the next morning, making the familiar noises that I missed so badly. After months of solitude, the house was finally full of life again. And everyone's attention was on Chazzy, the new tenant.

"So, what are we doing for the party next weekend? An acoustic set?" David asked as Chazzy jumped to his lap. The puppy was growing by the second and was getting heavier. It landed right on David's balls, so he groaned the last part of his question.

"Uh, party?" I asked, lifting my head from Chester's shoulder where I was reading a book about a homicide police department. It was actually getting interesting.

"Well..." Chester started talking in a strange and clumsy manner. "... we decided to throw a party to... commemorate the end of our tour. It's going to be only to a small circle of friends and family, of course."

Sensing my hesitation, Chester pulled me closer in his embrace, planting a kiss on my head. As the rest of the group started talking about other matters, unaware of my anxiety, Chester whispered in my ears.

"I wanted to tell you about the party last night, but we got so lost in many other matters that I was afraid of how you'd react if I told you about the party the same day I arrived. I'm sorry, honey. But I promise you it's going to be small, just for us. And it will be special. Very special."

"How special?" I asked, and he beamed.

"You'll have to wait for the party."

I didn't insist on the matter. If Chester assured me it would be something small, I believe in him. But for the next days, Chester was a little distant and a little uneasy. I would come home from work and he wasn't there waiting for me. And when I asked him what he did during the day, he just said  _rehearsing_. But the rest of the guys were at home most of that time and they had nothing to rehearse for.

Maybe I was just being neurotic. Maybe I just missed him so much that I assumed there was something going on. But that feeling never left my heart.

Friday morning, Chester received a message. I took a day off on Friday to spend the day with him before the party at the weekend, and Chester offered himself to bring me breakfast in bed. I was playing  _Candy Crush_  on his phone (since I ran out of lives on my account) when a notification appeared on the screen. I didn't open it, but the first sentence appeared on the screen from a "Rachel SO".

_Meet me at Secrets of the Ocean store at 3 P.M. It's rea (...)_

I didn't know any Rachel and didn't know Chester knew any Rachel. 

My first reaction, obviously, was suspicion. But then I thought that she could be something related to the party or someone from the music industry. I felt bad for thinking so low of him, but have you looked at Chester? Who wouldn't want a piece of that? He's too perfect to be true, so I presume loads of people would kill to be with him.

I ignored the text message.

Until 2.30 P.M.

"Hey, baby, I'm sorry. I know I told you that I would stay home with you today, but something came up and I have to leave for a while."

"Is everything ok?" I inquired innocently, but then I remembered his weird text message.

"Yes, yes. Just need to take care of a few things for the party. I'm sorry. I'll be home as soon as possible and then maybe we can have dinner and go to the movies?"

"Ok... I'll be here waiting for you. Or maybe I'll take Chazzy for a walk."

"I still hate you for calling him that." He kissed my forehead and walked to the main door.

"No, you don't." I tossed a pillow at the door while he was closing it.

"AH! Fuck you, no I don't. I love you." And finally, he shut the door.

For hours I waited for him. Mike and Anna arrived in the meantime but left around 7 P.M., as did Rob and his girlfriend Vanessa. But no Chester. It was almost 8 P.M. when I heard him unlocking the door with his puppy eyes pleading for forgiveness.

"I'm so sorry to keep you waiting. I had to take care of a few things for the party with the guys."

"The guys?"

"Yes, you know, Linkin Park? Rob, Brad, David and Joe?" He mocked me with a foolishly nervous smile. And that made me even more suspicious.

"The whole evening?" I asked, getting down of my favorite spot on the window's frame.

"Yes. Can we eat now and stop with the interrogatory? You look like my mother, Jeez!" He slapped me in the ass. "Get your shoes and your jacket, I made dinner reservations."

My heart was racing more than ever, with confused thoughts about why would Chester lie to me. That never happened before (except that time when he didn't tell me about Tabitha's obsession for him or about her watching our house when we moved to Manhattan), so I knew something was up; I knew he wasn't with his bandmates all evening.

And for some reason, Chester sensed my restlessness. He knew I was suspicious about him, but he couldn't tell me what he's been planning, at least not just yet. So he made an effort to make me laugh the rest of the night and to take my mind off that subject. 

I know Chester's feelings about me. I know them. But deep down there will always exist this fear of losing him without knowing. A fear that includes him knowing some hot girl during his tour and have his feelings for me shaken. Was I being a total fool for not trust in him, certainly! Was it illogical? I don't think so.

Something was going on. That I was certain of.


	17. Chapter 17

"Come on, we're going to be late!" Chester shouted from the kitchen while he was sipping a cup of coffee. He didn't get much sleep that night due to the turmoil inside his heart and the lump in his throat. He was excited and nervous like he has never been before. And for that, he couldn't sleep at all. So he craved that coffee so badly. A strong one.

"We're always late, Chester," I said, with the toothbrush in my mouth. "And what's the big deal? You're the host. You can be late. It's like you're about to get married. And you're the bride."

For a second, he chocked on his coffee and coughed hard.

"Are you ok?" I showed up at the kitchen ready to leave the mansion.

"Yeah, yeah. Let's party, baby!"

I rolled my eyes and followed him to the garage where he chose his black Jaguar F-Type.  _Discretion mode._

"It's too bad my family wasn't able to come. My friends had a conference and my mother had something already planned."

"Yeah, the weekend on  _Serra da Estrela._ " As soon as those words came out of his mouth, he shut up because he knew he fucked up.

"How the hell do you know?" I asked, turning my head to him, perceiving his stumbled expression.

"You must have mentioned it."

"No, I didn't." I crossed my arms at him and waited for an explanation. "One of the two: either you've been listening to my conversations, or you spoke to my mother and I'm not aware of that."

"So what if I talked to your mother? Are you jealous?" He tried to joke his way out, but I wasn't giving up so soon. I lifted a brow at him and insisted.

"You rarely talk to my mother. You're afraid of her."

"No, I'm not afraid of her!" He protested like a kid. "Gosh, Cat! You're being a pain in the ass. Your mother -- called you and you were away and picked it up. She said she'll call you later, and I forgot to tell you, you jealous Minx."

"You're a bad liar, Chester. And you are lying to me. I'm going to find out why."

He rolled his eyes but inside he was even more nervous about the party. He wasn't certain of how he could make me spend the rest of the night happy and worries-free by his side without thinking about his  _lies_. He knew me too well to know that I would be speculating about that all night. So he knew he had to tame the beast.

"Alright, you caught me. Yes, something is going on. I'm setting something for you. Are you happy now, meddlesome?"

"What does that even mean?" Chester was about to answer but I raised my hand. "Uh, on second thought, don't tell me."

"I wasn't going to." He made a grimace and laughed, so I just punched him in his arm earning a deathly glare from Chester.

Mike was pacing nervously at the entrance of the building. It was an event hall that they rented for the night, with music, food and drinks and just a few close friends and family, just like Chester asked them. 

Chester was his best friend since the beginning of Linkin Park in 1999 when they switched Xero's band's name to Hybrid Theory, and then permanently to Linkin Park. He knew about his depression, his anxiety and the other dark battles Chester had to struggle every day. They wrote several songs about it for years. He was there the first time he tried to kill himself and when he was buried deep in his own sorrow. But he was also there when he saw his friend falling in love with a complete stranger. At first, he was worried it would go wrong and break the rest of Chester's soul that still prevailed. But then he saw it: it was meant to be. And that's why he was anxious. He only wanted happiness for his best pal, even if that affects Linkin Park's work. 

"Thank God! You're late," a techy Mike said as soon as he laid his eyes on us.

"Wow, you found out that all by yourself?" I defied him.

"Awe, Mike is getting perceptive." Chester backed me up against the snappish Mike that was glaring at us as if we were insufferable kids bullying him.

"Ha-ha. Fuck you two."

Mike turned around immediately and made his way back to the building, cursing us under his breath. We just laughed and followed him. Once we entered the room, people started clapping and whistling at us. We just smiled and joined our friends at the food table to greet them all.

Chester disappeared for a while with the rest of the band. Probably to get ready to play something for us, I thought to myself. So I started talking with Anna and Heidi, trying to know if they were aware of why Chester was acting so different lately. I also noticed that Vanessa was a little strange that night, but I decided not to pry.

"So, do you know something I don't?" I asked, catching them off guard.

"About what?" Heidi asked.

"Chester is hiding something from me. I know it. Have your husbands talked to you about anything?"

"Not to me," Heidi answered the same as Anna.

"Are you sure?" I asked, and they answered the same thing. Well, they seemed too honest to me. Or maybe they were just good liars, unlike Chester. They even said they would ask their husbands if there was something going on. I smiled and thanked them, but I was still suspicious about this whole party thing.

Meanwhile, Anna got us drinks - thank God -, and we started drinking and eating and chatting with people that would come by. I met other Chester's friends and family that I never saw before and they all seemed to enjoy my company, which made me feel good. His mother made sure I was introduced to everyone in the room, and she did nothing but praise me and brag what I did for her son. She was really thankful and sweet, and I was happy for it, but it was actually getting embarrassing. 

Soon after we heard taps on the mic. All heads in the room turned around and ceased all conversations, waiting for Chester to speak. I whispered  _Thank God_  as soon as the party's attention was fully on the stage.

"Thank you for being here with us. What a trip!" Chester laughed along with the crowd when Mike interrupted him by screaming out all his frustrations. "Yes Mike, thank you for resuming the speech. We just want to thank everyone that made this last album and tour possible. And what a better way to end it than playing our favorite songs for our dearest friends and our amazing family? So, this is for all of you inside this room. The first one, it's older. And I want to dedicate it myself for a special person in the room: My lovely girlfriend, who I love from the bottom of my heart. For you, The Messenger."

Everyone in the room muttered "awe" in unison and I felt flustered. Luckily, Mike started playing his acoustic guitar and Chester's voice echoed through all the room, making everyone feel a shiver through their spines.

By the end of the song, Chester looked at me and blew a kiss as the crowd clapped and whistled. His voice never ceases to amaze me nor to make me quiver in pleasure. His voice is my favorite sound in the world. It's amazing how it changes how I'm feeling like a snap of a finger. And before I knew it,  _Sharp Edges_  was already playing, and I was deeply lost in Chester's beautiful figure on stage. The way he looked at the crowd, and at me, only to close his eyes and feel the music inside his heart, it was heavenly sight. Or the way his neck's vein protrudes whenever he does a higher note or have to scream the lyrics. It was too intoxicating.

Thankfully, I asked him to take off his sunglasses whenever he's on stage. It's entirely different when people can see his shiny brown orbs, staring at them (or at me) while he sings his heart out. It makes you connect with his soul by just looking at him in the eyes.

They played  _One More Light, Invisible_  and many others of their new album, before taking a quick break. The rest of the band went backstage for a while, but Chester jumped out of the stage to give me a quick kiss.

"You're still the one that made this all possible for me, baby. I love you." Then, he ran back to his friends, leaving me with the girls smirking and poking me with their elbows.

"Oh, stop it," I said with a bashful smile on my lips.

"We can't. Chester it's just too sweet. You're a lucky girl."

"Yes, I am..." But my mind was already lost again: it followed Chester to the room in the back of the stage where he gathered with the rest of the band members.

Chester asked them all to meet in the room and wait for him. He wanted to share with all of them his decision. He already shared it with Mike, who has helped him, but that moment he wanted to share it with all his friends. Chester knew the band would support him no matter what, and the fact that he was happy with his decisions and his life was enough for his friends to make a group hug.

"Whenever you're ready, man." Mike patted his best friend's back and gave him a slap on his neck, earning a pillow fight inside the room. For five minutes they were like children, playing  _Counter-strike with pillows_ , using any object at hand as a shield.

They were interrupted when Jeff entered the room and stared at them bewildered with the scenario. Chester had just blown a pillow in Mike's back and there were feathers flying around the air, slowly resting on the floor.

The bodyguard had a mocking expression on his eyes but kept his professional face as he gave Chester his order.

The rest of the band rushed to Chester's side as he opened the little bag and showed them what he purchased for me. 

"Dude, if I was a pussy like you I would be crying by now," Mike said and groaned when Chester elbowed him in the stomach. "Really, I'm happy for you, man."

"Yeah, we all are," Rob said, and they formed a group hug again. This time it was a long embrace, feeling all the years of hard work finally paying off. Mike opened his eyes and looked at a smiling Jeff. Then he pulled the man to the hug, much to his surprise.

*****

"Are you ready for some more?" Mike asked the crowd once they were back on stage. They all cheered and screamed and he smiled warmly. "We'll bring you some old stuff now. You know the lyrics."

Then, he started playing  _In the end_  in his piano, asking the crowd to sing along word by word. My favorite part is Chester's, obviously. But that must be one of my favorite songs. Another one that I love to hear is  _Waiting for the end_ , and of course, Chester who was aware of that sang that song. They even made an acoustic version of  _Final Masquerade_ ,  _Numb_ , and  _What I've done_. 

Song by song, Chester's stomach was twisting inside and provoking him goosebumps. It was time to be a man, and finally, do what he so desired ever since the moment he met me.


	18. Chapter 18

  
"Excuse me, can I steal the lady from you?" I heard Chester's smooth voice behind me as I was telling Anna, Heidi, and Vanessa about the poisoned horse incident that I helped the police with. They were focused on what I was saying, but their concentration shifted to the brown-eyed gentleman that was holding a hand in the air for me. I smiled affectionately and accepted his hand.

For a moment I furrowed my brows since Mike and Rob were grinning like two lunatics. It was actually scary the way they were looking at us, now that I think of it. But I focused on Chester's behavior, as he guided me through the crowd to grab the mic from the small stage where he sang just five minutes ago.

"What are you doing?" I asked, faking a smile to the crowd that was now looking at us expectantly.

"Hi, everyone. Can I have your attention, please?" Chester ignored me with a nervous smile on his face. He spoke on the mic and all the conversations in that room ceased.

I glanced again at Mike and he nodded his head in a mocking way.  _What the_ _hell_ _was_ _happening_ _?_

"First of all, I want to thank you all for joining us tonight. It is an honor to have our family, closest friends, and influencers in the same room. You were there with us since the very beginning and you became like family to us. So, you all know about my condition. You know the struggles I've been suffering ever since... well, ever since I'm me. I was in deep shit four years ago. I don't think I ever felt so lost in this world. Nothing made sense to me anymore. Not even music. And not even my life." He took a deep breath as memories from his darkest years raced through his mind. He bravely pushed those thoughts away, concealing the tears burning behind his eyes. "I wanted that pain to end and I tried to kill myself. But fortunately, my friends saved me and never gave up on me. They tried everything they could and, eventually, I ended up in the most beautiful country on the other side of the ocean in search of a cure."

He glanced at me and smiled. That made me ease for a while and he proceeded his speech.

"Then, I met the person that changed everything. Someone that even though suffered so much and that had no reasons to enjoy life, showed me how to enjoy mine. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't record this album, wouldn't finish this tour. Probably wouldn't even be alive..."

For a second his voice trembled and weakened, but he took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and continued to open his heart and his soul. Chester told everyone how we met, and how we ended up together, including the time he tried to hang himself and I saved him. Everyone around us gasped and some even cried. Mike had his mouth opened and his eyes widened staring with a puzzled look at me, so I looked at him and made a sad smile. I never told them about what happened. _For Chester_. Because I believed in him, even when he didn't believe in himself, and I knew that he would never do anything like that again. He promised me.

A leap of faith, that paid off.

"I don't know how many times I asked God what have I done to deserve such blessing. But I make sure to thank Him every day for the wonderful woman he put in my life. She is my guardian angel. Every day she saves a piece of my soul an bring it back to where it shouldn't have even left in the first place."

I was bitting my lower lip the whole time, trying to conceal my tears. It was getting harder to keep them from falling. And when I saw Chester's tears running down his face, I couldn't hold mine any longer.

"This..." he pointed to the crowd in front of us in a circle motion, to the pictures of the album hanging on the wall, and to himself, turning his body to me, locking his sparkling eyes on mine, "would never be possible without you... I'm here because of you. For this past six months, whenever I was away from you, my mind and my heart were with you all the time. I would give it all up for you, to be by your side. When I tell you, you are the love of my life, I mean it. Every single word. Can you understand? I want you, forever... There are no right words to say this: I love you. I love you more than anything in this world."

Then, Chester let go of my hand, took a step back, and searched for something in his pockets. He was trembling and he was anxious. Never in his life, he imagined himself in a moment like that. He didn't know if he was going to be able to live enough to search for a moment like that. 

Chester kneeled in front of me, with a red velvet box open, exposing a simple silver ring, with light red rhinestones. With his humble sparkling brown eyes, he stared at me with a nervous posture and a loving smile on his lips.

"I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy. Will you give me the honor of marrying me?"

Most of the people around us gasped, and clapped, and cheered. But the members of the band were smiling with tears in the corner of their eyes. They all knew that Chester wanted to propose. They all knew that Chester would give up everything to marry me. Even if that meant sacrificing his career (something they knew very well I was not going to allow to happen).

For me, it was like the world around us stopped. 

For him, I was taking too much time to answer, and his knee and his face were hurting from smiling too much.

"I believe you need to answer that." He mocked me, still with a smile plastered on his lips.

I nodded, cried and laughed at the same time. "Yes!!!" 

I wasn't expecting this at all. All the secrecy, the anxiety, and the stupid thoughts that it caused inside my head were because he wanted to propose. Because he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.

With his face flustered - mimicking mine - and a purely happy face, Chester got up, took my hand and put the ring on my finger, watching it for a second before pulling me to a passionate kiss. Around us, the crowd just clapped and whistled, but we didn't pay them attention; we kissed for several minutes and made promises of eternal love to each other.

Before we knew it, Mike, Rob, David, and Joe surrounded us and squeezed us in a big hug. Their wives and girlfriends joined them and we stayed there for quite some time, hearing words of happiness and congratulations from all of them. It was one of those moments where you feel the love of a family all together. Those moments that you just want to videotape or slow down. Those moments that warm your heart and raise your spirit whenever it's down.

"Ok, that's enough!" Chester shouted from the middle of the hug. It was actually getting hard to breath under so many arms squeezing us tightly. "Let go of my fiancé."

I looked at him. I loved to hear him call me "fiancé". It made my heart skip a beat but also something burning between my legs.  _Great timing to get_ _horny_ _. Way to go,_ _Cat_ _, way to go._

People started to disperse and we were left alone in the middle of the crowd, my arms resting on his shoulders and his on my waist, dancing to the sound of random music that we weren't even paying attention to. We were lost in each other eyes as we talked about what we were feeling at that moment.

"Your family already knows about this." He admitted. "I stole your mother's phone number from your phone and called her to ask for her blessing. I tried to learn more Portuguese words to be able to do that. I bet she'll mock me once you two talk. But she was happy for you and she gave me her blessing, so... Yeah, that's it."

"That's why you've been acting strange lately." I started connecting the dots.

"Yeah. I didn't know what your reaction would be. You have no idea how many people I asked for advice. I asked Mike, my ex-therapist, a friend that is also a priest, your mother... I was a complete mess."

I laughed at his nervousness.

"Why? Were you afraid that I would say no?"

His pleading eyes answered for him.

"Then you are dumbest than I thought. I would never say no to spend the rest of my life with you. I moved to the other side of the ocean for us. Silly." One thing crossed my mind, and I had to ask. "So, what's Rachel's role in all of this?"

"You know Rachel?" Chester asked with a surprised face.

"Well, I may or may have not read a message notification on your phone." He lifted a brow at me and I excused myself immediately. "It was an accident. I was playing on your phone when she texted you. I didn't pry on your stuff if that's what you're worried about."

"I have nothing to hide from you. Ok, except for that, but it doesn't count." He smiled. "What I'm worried about is that I bet that little head of yours started imagining things, didn't it?"

I bit my lower lip and he chuckled.  _Damn, his laugh still makes my body tremble, even after all these years._

"Wow, jealous. I like it." I punched him in the arm and he laughed louder. "Ok, ok, I take it back. Jeez. But, baby, whenever there's something bothering you, you talk to me, understand?"

"It was stupid and I knew it, that's why I didn't ask you anything. But the fear of losing you it's stronger than I thought." I admitted and he smiled in the most tender way.

"Nothing that worries you is stupid. If we're going to be man and wife, we need to talk about this stuff." 

I smirked and he lifted a brow.

"I like the way it sounds. I love the idea of being your wife."

"Wasn't that the point when you said yes?" 

I rolled my eyes at the singer and he laughed. A sound that I love so much to hear. The sound of his happiness. And he was happy. You could see through the gleam of his eyes, the reddened cheeks, and the uneven breathing.  
  
"When would you like to get married?" I asked curiously while our bodies swayed slowly through the dance floor.

"Tomorrow?" We both laughed shyly. "The sooner the better. I want you to be mine."

"I am yours already."

"You know what I mean." He planted one last kiss on my lips before being interrupted by Mike's family that wanted to congratulate us on the engagement. 

Even though we were surrounded by people that loved us, all we wanted to do was running back to our mansion, to our room, and celebrate it in our own way. And that's what we did as soon as no one was watching us. First, Chester excused himself to the bathroom, but instead, sneaked to the parking lot. Then I tried to make my way out, thanking everyone who decided to approach me. Eventually, I was able to exit through the side door where Chester was waiting for me.

"Took you long enough." 

I rolled my eyes but pulled him to a deep kiss. He wasn't expecting it, but his hands fell immediately on my waist, pulling me closer to him. It was getting too intense, my hands were wandering his back, his hands were pulling my dress up, and our breathing was uneven. Chester left my lips only to connect them to the skin on my neck, kissing it and bitting it gently, making me shiver. His body was crawling slowly to be on top of mine, ignoring the handbrake hindering his movement.

"Maybe we should go home, baby. Someone could be watching us." I tried to stop him, but he was too hypnotized to listen. Chester's eyes were dark with lust, his skin was burning with wild desire. If I let him, he would take me there, not minding if people would be watching. But eventually, he managed to stop and sit back in his seat, breathing profoundly.

"Let's go home." He gasped, struggling with his lungs for air.

"Yeah," I answered with my cheeks flustered while I tried to put myself together, and Cheste started the car, entering soon after the driveway, the quickest way back home.

After a few moments of silence, hearts still pounding inside our chests, Chester spoke.

"Are you happy?"

"Yes. So happy." I answered, turning my body to face him.

"Good," was all that he said. And before he was able to speak some more, I moved closer to him and let my right hand travel down to his pants, to caress his still hard shaft. He looked at me surprised, with his mouth open, but didn't say anything. Then, I unbuttoned his pants and pulled his zipper down. "What are you doing, crazy girl?" He asked, but I had his hard member free from his boxers making him gasp. 

"I'm showing you how happy I am." 

And before he could open his mouth to speak I already had my mouth swallowing his length. He moaned too loud, almost losing control of the car, but he calmed down and focused on the driving. At least, he tried to.

I sucked him as hard as I could, with a slow pace at first, and a hand mimicking my up and down movements. My intention was to make him feel every inch of my mouth, from the lips to the back of my throat, with a special treatment from my tongue that licked him in process.

My hands also played with his balls, that were becoming rough. He was about to come,  _and how I love how he comes when he's too high with pleasure._ So I increased my pace, harder and faster than I could and he was trembling in his seat. He even had to slow down the car. It was getting too intense for him to focus on the road, but Chester was doing the best he could.

"Stop." He muttered. 

I ignored him.

"Stop. We're almost at home." He grabbed my hair carefully, rubbing my head. 

"Come for me." 

"Not yet." 

I ended up doing as he asked and sat back on my seat, gently cleaning the corner of my lips. The guards outside greeted us and opened the gates for us, smiling and waving as they usually do. Chester proceeded to the garage, where he parked the car, turned it off and looked at me for a moment. With a serious expression, but a wild look on his eyes, he lifted his brow and let his eyes scan my body.

"To the backseat. Now."

His voice made me quiver but I obeyed immediately, crossing a leg over the middle section of his Jaguar. Leather seats weren't really my thing, but I had to admit, it was actually exciting being inside that car with Chester Bennington, my fiancé.

Chester didn't wait too long, he was already by my side, pulling my stockings down, and taking my shoes off. Then, he opened the front zip from my red dress, that ended over my navel level, exposing my matching lace bra. Without a word, he unclipped my bra and its straps, pulling it off without having to take the dress with it.

His mouth attacked my exposed breasts, sucking and licking the nipple of one, while his hand caressed the other. He played with them for a while before his hands moved to his pants to stroke himself and get his cock ready for me. And when he was pleased, he checked my folds to see if I was ready for him. With that confirmation, he immediately penetrated me, burying himself deep inside my velvet.

That was the first time he made a sound since we got home - he moaned.

And he looked at me with a more passionate look than before. His animalistic desire disappeared and now I could see the lovely Chester behind his eyes.

He thrust as fast as he could, too aroused with the view under him. He had to close his eyes because with that sight he would spread his seed inside me sooner than he expected. So he leaned his head down, moaning and thrusting against my hips as my own moans echoed inside his head. _Such delightful music_ , he thought to himself. And when he opened his eyes again, they fell on my hand, gripping hard the backseat' leather. He saw the shiny red and silver engagement ring on my hand and that reminded him of how I belonged to him.

So he grabbed my hips and thrust harder than he thought possible, feeling his orgasm building in the lower core of his belly. He didn't mind though. He was waiting for that all evening and he knew I was too.

And looking at the ring on my finger, symbolizing our love, that I was meant to be his, made him over the edge even faster. So he finally filled me with his seed, both of us moaning until the last drop.

Chester let his body fall on top of mine, sweating and breathing heavily as he planted kisses on my face randomly.

"That was amazing!" I muttered, too overwhelmed by the orgasm to even say an audible word. He just kissed me on my lips and smiled.

"I was dying to have you."

"That was before or after proposing?" 

"One must say that hearing the love of his life being called his fiancé is kinda a turn on." He muffled a laugh and pulled me closer to his arms. The leather backseats of his car were becoming uncomfortable since our sweaty skin was glued. So we just decided to grab our clothes and run to our room, to a much-needed bath.

As soon as the hot water started cleaning our sated bodies it felt like all the excitement and rush of the day were vanishing. It was a long day, filled with emotions that overwhelmed our hearts, and we needed to find some time to exhale them all.

"Hey, where were you?" Chester's sweet voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I must have disconnected for a while, lost in my own world and Chester noticed.

"Just thinking..."

"Oh, that's never good." He joked and I elbowed him. "I'm kidding. What were you thinking about?"

"How good it sounds my future name: Ana Catarina Bennington."

Chester widened his eyes and his face turned to the happiest expression I've seen on him.

"You want my name?"

"Of course, I'll be your wife." He closed his eyes once he heard the word  _wife_  and smiled even more. "Why, you don't want me to?"

"No! I mean-- , Yes!!! It's just, you don't need to if you don't want it."

"But I do. It's a cute name." I turned around in the shower and leaned my back against his torso, and my head against his shoulder, holding my hand in the air to watch the ring. "Who would imagine? Mrs. Bennington."

"Now, you're just playing with fire." He warned me, his hands caressing my wet naked body.

"Why is that?"

"You know what that does to me."

I pretended to be surprised and gasped.

"What? Round two already?"

Chester turned me around, pinned me against the shower wall, pulling my body up to his lap.


	19. Chapter 19

We tried to make it quick: the guest list, the church selection, the date, and all the preparations needed. The quicker, the better. And even though we spent the next three months nervous about it, we wanted to get over with it and run away to our honeymoon, just the two of us.

Since my dream trip is Egypt and Chester never had the opportunity to enjoy the country whenever he had concerts there, he wanted it to be our destination. I had nothing against it, obviously.

I opted for a simple wedding dress, something beautiful but that allowed me to breathe. I never liked those huge princess wedding dresses, that makes the dancing and having fun part harder. It's our wedding, the dress shouldn't be a nuisance. So, after explaining my preferences and sharing my ideas with Heidi, Anna, and Vanessa, they helped me find a proper wedding dress. And how hard was that?

We tried millions of dresses, even the ones we knew that wouldn't be chosen, just for fun. Well, their fun; it wasn't fun for me having to undress and dress time after time.

"Well, when you know, you know." A lady from one of the stores told me. She showed me almost her entire store and there was nothing resembling what I had imagined.  "Don't worry. Most of the brides spend months looking for the right dress."

"I don't have months! I have weeks! We need to keep searching." 

She eyed me for a moment like she was thinking about something. Then, she smiled and left me alone in the fitting room, returning soon after with a dress inside a bag in her hand and a shy smile on her lips.

"I don't show this dress to every customer. But I think it is meant for you."

She opened the bag and my eyes widened open. That was it. The exact design I imagined, simple, comfortable and beautiful. She placed it on the hanger and turned around to open the back buttons. I heard her sniffling and she started whispering.

"This was supposed to be my wedding dress."

"Supposed? Why? What happened?" I asked, fighting with the actual dress that I was trying to undress.

"My fiancé died in a car crash, three years ago."

I stopped, frozen like the whole blood of my body ran away from me. She looked at me and smiled.

"It's ok, I never wore it, and I don't think I'll ever will. Try it, please." 

She helped me get inside the dress but didn't let me see it in the mirror yet. Instead, she walked me out of the room, to find the girls expectantly waiting for me, sitting on a couch. As soon as they lay their eyes on me, they gasped and that moment I knew it: that was the one.

That's how I got my wedding dress. From a tragical story that hopefully would end up in a happy one. My happy story.

***

The girls insisted that I had to spend the last night before the wedding at the most exquisite hotel in the city.  _Their treat_ , they said. They slept there with me, making sure I had a beauty day and relaxed, but all I wanted was to lay naked on Chester's arms in the comfort of our bedroom. Occasionally, I escaped from their sight and called him on the phone for a minute or two, just to hear his sweet voice.

So you can imagine that my last night before the wedding was hard: I had to sleep away from the one whom I share my bed every night.

(Skipping all the boring, but overwhelmed part where you get a makeover, with bridal makeup and a simple wavy hair, before getting inside the wedding dress and actually feel like a bride, and where your bridesmaids almost ruined their makeups and yours. You know the drill.)

Next morning, just outside of the hotel was a black discreet car in the parking lot, waiting for us. Mike was on the elevator with an anxious smile on his lips.

"Aren't you suppose to be with the groom?" I asked him, planting a kiss on his cheek.

"Chester asked me to be the one to take you to the church. I guess he trusted me to get you to the altar." He smiled, acknowledging my wedding dress. "You look beautiful, Cat."

"Thank you. He's afraid I'll run away, isn't he?"

"Well, you know Chester." Mike kissed his wife, Anna, hugged her and turned to me again. "Your family is already there, waiting for you. Let's go?"

I nodded and took a deep breath before grabbing the skirt of my dress to walk easily. We went down on the elevator in an awkward and nervous silence. Everyone waited for this day since they saw the way Chester and I looked at each other. They prayed the Gods for someone to enter Chester's life and save him from his demons. And once they met me they knew I was the one. They just wanted us to admit that by ourselves.

Mike opened the door for me, like a gentleman, holding a helping hand in the air.

But once he walked around the car and put his hand on the door to take his driver seat, he started swearing and kicking the car's tire. His wife jumped out of the car to check her husband and gasped, walking to the trunk of the car, to get Mike the tools to replace a tire.

"We have a flat. Don't worry, Mike will take care of it. Give us five minutes, honey."

Then she ran to her husband's side and whispered as she took a knife from the tire.

"Why would someone do such a thing?"

Mike looked at her with a furious but worried look and she understood who he was thinking of. He was right, that was too strange to be a random person's doing.

"If Tabitha knows about the wedding, this won't end here."

"Should we call Chester?" Anna asked, helping Mike with the new tire.

"No. He will be worried for no reason. We'll handle this. Eyes open, baby. She can be anywhere and I'm afraid what she might do."

She nodded and once they were finished, the car was ready to take them to the church. Anna smiled nervously at me but kept her gaze distant, looking around while we drove off the parking lot.

We were almost arriving at the church when we heard the bells. That deep twist inside my stomach was back and I wanted to throw up to get rid of it. Watching the church appear in front of me as Mike was parking the car made me realized the reality: I was about to get married. I was really about to get married. Imagine that!!!

All these years I thought that I wasn't worthy of it, and now I was about to marry the love of my life, fucking Chester Bennington! Somehow along the way, I thought that maybe I was dreaming. But no, I never had such good dreams.

"Hey..." Heidi called my name, several times before snapping me out of my thoughts. "Come on. It's time."

She helped me out of the car, gave me my bouquet of flowers and the rest of the girls placed the dress' tail on the floor, perfectly set to slide easily through the floor. 

We walked to the main doors and Rob was already waiting for us with a suspicious look.

"What's wrong?" I asked and Rob was stumbling in his words.

"We'll need to wait a few more minutes, uh... We're having troubles with the priest."

"What kind of troubles?" I leaned on one leg, with my hands on my waist, impatient with the man in front of me.

"Uh, well... he's... kinda drunk? Or drugged. We don't know."

"WHAT? What the fuck?" I yelled too loud and Mike shushed me.

"Dude, you're on a church, watch your language!!!"

I looked at him with a deranged look and he held his hands in the air in defeat, shutting his mouth. He knew better than irritate a woman on her wedding day.

"Where's the priest?" I asked, ready to get inside of the church to check on the incompetent priest.

"He's on the fitting room. Chester is there with the rest of the best men, you can't go. Wait here and I'll be here in a minute."

Anna and Heidi had to hold me to stop me from going inside and cause a scene. Something was going on and they were trying to hide it from me. Maybe Chester was having cold feet and they were trying to convince him to marry me. They came up with a crazy story about the priest being drunk because they wanted to protect me.

"Calm down, Cat. There are lots of priests out there, just chill the fuck out!" Anna almost yelled at me.

"Language!" I yelled back and she rolled her eyes. "It's Chester, isn't it? He's having second thoughts and you're trying to take care of the situation."

"What? Are you mad?" Heidi asked, after taking a peek at the inside of the church. "He's crazy in love with you and you think that? Are you stupid or what?"

"Then what the hell is happening? First the tire, now the priest? What is happening?"

Anna and Heidi looked at each other suspiciously but kept their mouths shut. Vanessa had just appeared from inside of the church with a pale face.

"It's her, Tabitha. She's messing with the wedding!"

I widened my eyes at her but when I was about to open my mouth to speak, several cars stopped in front of the church, the doors opening quickly and men with cameras rushing to our side. Some of them had recorders and others had microphones on their hands, yelling and asking questions like hungry vultures.

"Please, stop. Go away!" Anna tried to push them away, but they surrounded us, almost smashing us in the middle. The girls were trying to take us out of that rampage, but I was too lost in my thoughts to even think about what was happening. Antagonistically of the turmoil in the front of the church, I was frozen, too shocked to even try to run away. Somehow everything around me was mute, only my noisy thoughts could be heard.  _Was that my destiny?_  Having paparazzi and reports trying to tear my life apart? It wasn't Chester's fault, not at all. He always tried to protect me, but let's be real - I _'m not meant for this kind of life._  All I want is peace, far away from the spotlights. And the day that should be the happiest of my life was nothing more than a commotion and a freak show.

Suddenly, the best men and Chester showed up to end that massacre, pushing the reports away and pulling us inside the church, locking the doors behind them. The guests turned their heads around to see what was happening, gasping when they saw my ruined makeup and our scared faces.

Chester guided me to the fitting room where David was taking care of the priest.

"I called an ambulance. He threw up blood. I don't know what she gave to him, man. He says she offered some wine and they drank two glasses." He whispered on Chester's ear, but I was able to listen.

Chester turned to me, ignoring what was happening at the priest. Soon the paramedics were there, thank God, and they took the priest away. But in the meantime, Chester pulled me with him to another room, where the confessions sessions are usually held.

Then he shut the door behind him, punching it the process. He just stood there, fists clenched against the door, breathing in and out, and letting the tears fall on the floor.

After wiping my own tears, I approached him slowly, resting a hand on his shoulder in silent. Eventually, he relaxed and stopped sobbing, ready to face me.

"I'm so--" I stopped him by pressing my lips against his. Chester melted in my arms, pulling me close by my waist.

"Don't even finish the sentence."

"This is all my fault..."

"No, it isn't. Nothing that happened today is your fault, Chester."

"Why do I get the feeling that is not true?"

Well, I didn't know what else to tell him, so I remained quiet, watching his sad and guilty brown eyes looking at me.

"I fucked everything up. Like I use to do. Fuck!!!"

"No, you didn't, Chester. Don't say that."

He looked at me with hopeful eyes. "Another priest is almost here. We can finally do it. I'll ask him to be quick and we can run away from--"

Chester stopped talking once he saw my sad eyes and my expression fading away. He knew exactly what I was thinking, so he pulled away from my arms, and punched the wall again. I jumped back startled with his behavior, only able to watch him hitting the wall with all his wrath. Then he walked around the room until he finally leaned against a wall, sliding down to the floor. His hands traveled to his neck, untieing his papillon bow, unbuttoning two buttons of his white shirt. With a sigh, he buried his forehead in his hands and, finally, looked at me.

"You look beautiful. Even better than I imagined."

I approached him slowly and kneeled in front of him, taking his hands on mine.

"Chester... I'm sorry for everything that happened... I love you, so, so much."

His hands left mine and cupped my cheeks, and he kneeled in front of me, a new wave of hope rising inside his heart. Maybe he didn't lose everything.

"I love you too, baby. I love you too." He kissed me several times and I smiled.

"But I can't marry with you today. Maybe this was some type of signal from the universe." Chester started nodding his head but I stopped him from opening his mouth, by covering it with my hand. "I love you and I will always love you, Chester. But I think we both know I don't belong here... I tried. I was actually enjoying being here, but... What happened out there, Tabitha's doing or not, I'm not cut for that."

"Are you breaking up with me?" He furrowed his brows, not wanting to believe in his own words. The way he asked it like he was whining, felt like daggers in my heart. It hurt so much to hear him that helpless.

"No! -- I don't know. The only thing that I know for sure is that I love you, but that I can't be here anymore. I need to leave."

"Please, don't go..." He started sobbing, planting kisses on my lips as if it was the last time. "Please, don't leave me, baby. Please..."

"I'm not leaving you, Chester. I just need to get away from this church, from this freak show. She'll never leave us alone. She'll always be there to fuck our relationship..."

"I'll take care of her. I'll lock her away in some psychiatric hospital and throw the key away. But please, don't give up on me, Catarina." His voice was barely audible, his sobs were uncontrolled and his hands were hugging me as tight as he could. "You're all that I have." He was barely audible.

"That's not true." I tried to pull away, to look him in the eyes, but he buried deep his head on the crock of my neck. "Hey, Chester, love. Come on, look at me. Let's get out of here. Just you and me. There's a back door on the fitting room, we can take the bus."

He lifted his head slowly, eyes swollen from crying too hard.

"You want me to go away with you?"

"I said I wanted to get away from here, not from you. Come on." I pulled myself up and held a hand in the air for him, to help him to get up. Hesitantly, he took it and stared blankly at me.

"I thought you wanted to break up with me."

"I don't want to talk about it now. I want to get away with you. I don't know, let's get crazy and do stupid things that we'll regret in the morning."

He lifted a brow, not knowing what to say.

"You are aware you are dressed as a bride, aren't you? A beautiful bride I must say. But still, everyone will stare at us."

"Let them."

We walked out of that room after an hour, hands intertwined and smiles on our lips. Everyone was confused, with our rush and Mike was the one to set his hands on Chester's shoulders to stop him from walking away.

"What's happening?"

Chester replied, smiling at me. "Tell them the wedding has been canceled."

"What? What the fuck should I tell them?"

"I don't know. Tell them the groom ran away with the bride."

"What?" An even more confused Mike stared at us, as I pulled Chester with me, out of that church.

The whole crowd inside that fitting room was either confused or laughing at the show they just witnessed. They actually thought we wouldn't leave that room together, after everything that happened, but apparently, they were wrong. Rob pat Mike on his back with a mocking expression.

"Well, we'll be waiting for you in the car. You should tell people about the wedding outcome."

"Me? Why me? They'll think I'm crazy." They all turned around and walked out of the room. "Hey! Don't leave alone with them!!!"


	20. Chapter 20

After a perplexed BUS driver gave us tickets to the nearest clothing shop, we changed our clothes to more casual ones, leaving the wedding outfits in the store. Chester rested his head on my shoulder the whole traveling time, occasionally telling me how beautiful I looked as a bride.

We decided to get out of Manhattan and look for some appealing place to eat. We were both starving to death! So we decided to grab a Big Mac for the two of us and walk around with no destination planned.

Before I knew it, we were at this nice bar, drinking beers and vodka and everything that we were interested in.

"So, what are we going to do now?" A slightly drunk Chester asked.

"I don't want to think about it. I think I want to go home and sleep. Do you know how hard it is to walk in that wedding dress and those heels? I'm telling you, I'll never want to marry again in those kinds of dresses." Chester sparkling eyes were focused on me. He was indeed a bit drunk, but he was still hoping that he didn't fuck things up and that he still had a chance to make me his. 

"And what would you like to wear the next time we... you're getting married?"

"Uhm, I don't know. Preferably, my pajamas. But... I would change to a bikini and would marry on the beach."

"I would love to marry on a beach," Chester whispered and then an awkward silence fell on us. The possibility of getting trying to get married again was not on the table for me. Well, at least not for now, after what happened that day. And somehow Chester knew that and understood why I felt that way. But he wouldn't give up on me. On us. No. He may not take me as his wife that moment, but he will. 

After long minutes of silence, my heart was beating fast. It hurt to see his sad face masked with a smile. And the pain was enhanced by the alcohol.

"Do you like pineapple on pizza?"

My question confused him and snapped him out of his trance. He was surprised by that odd question.

"What?"

"Well, we meet each other for three years or so, but we never had this specific conversation."

He eyed me with a thoughtful expression for a while and took another sip of his lemon vodka.

"It is a weird combination of saltiness with and soury sweetness."

"Uh, what does that even mean?"

"It means that it's a weird combination of the best of both worlds. Much like you. An unstoppable force of nature with the purest heart I've ever seen. That's why I love you."

I drank the rest of his drink much to his surprise, and he furrowed his brows.

"I'm not sure you're still talking about pizza or you're just hitting on me."

He laughed -  _God, I love that sound. That hoarse and sultry chuckle_.  _It is too arousing to me. And I'm too drunk to think straight._

We spent the rest of the evening and after dinner on that bar, ordering drinks and food until we were both too dizzy to walk straight. We laughed so hard about random things that weren't even funny but never talked about the failed wedding. 

Before I knew it, Chester was drunker than I was. We almost couldn't hold himself on his seat and I decided it was time to go home. 

I got up from my seat and paid the bill. It hurt my stomach once I saw how much money we spent that night, but it was needed. Then, I turned to Chester and made him stand, put an arm around my neck and walked out of the bar. As I was focused on getting us to the subway, Chester was staring at me and groaned.

"Are you okay?" I asked, already tired from carrying Chester's body weight.

He brought a hand to my cheek and stared deeply to my eyes. I was expecting a romantic Chester as usual, but he was too drunk for that.

"Are you the sun?" I furrowed my brows at his question."Because you're so beautiful it's blinding me."

I laughed, and he closed his eyes at that sweet sound. His hand carefully stroke my cheek and his thumb caressed my lower lip, hungry eyes ready to attack. But he was gentle instead; he pressed his lips against mine so softly that it made my heart flutter.

"Come on, it's time to get you home." I smiled at him and guided him through the illuminated streets of some small town that I don't even know the name. Now that I think of it, I didn't even know where we were and somehow I had to get my drunken ass boyfriend and myself back home! 

"Which one? Yours or mine?" Chester asked leaning against me with a what I thought to be a seductive look, but since he was drunk it seemed like he was blinded by some intense light that was hurting his eyes. And he was making a weird smile. It was actually scary.

"We live in the same house, Chester. And sleep in the same bed."

"Wow, lucky me." He kept staring with the same look. Creep. And I just rolled my eyes.

We entered the subway and took our seats in the back of the train. Chester followed me through the empty corridors, our fingers intertwined, and I could hear him humming. I looked around and gave him a puzzled look.

"Did you sit on sugar? Because you have a very sweet ass."

"Oh, God..." I whispered it was going to be a long ride back home. "You're so drunk..."

"Intoxicated by you." He leaned his head against my shoulders and inhaled my perfume. Then he got quiet and fell asleep peacefully. 

I sighed and tried my best not to fall asleep too. It was a twenty-minutes trip and it was going to be a hard battle not to fall asleep, but still, it would be better than thinking about that tragic day; about how Tabitha manages to ruin anything she touches. Would that be Chester's and my destiny? Ruined because of a crazy and obsessed woman?


	21. Chapter 21

I thought that getting Chester to the subway was one of the hardest things I had to do in my life. It's not that he put on some weight or something, but when people are drunk they usually feel like the heaviest thing in the world. But when I had to take him off of the train and walk home, I realized that was really the hardest.

We had to walk about 15 minutes to get to our mansion. 

Sure, it would be easier to call a cab or a Uber, but I thought that it would be best if Chester walked a little and got some fresh air before going to sleep.

And I was right. By the time we got home, he was less drunk and more aware of how deep the drink hit him.

"Good night, Catarina, good night, Chester." Jeff, the guard, furrowed his brows once he saw us walking at that time of the night, but he soon realized why we were in that condition. Of course, he heard what happened at the wedding, but seeing us together answered his questions. So he just smiled. "Your friends have just arrived too."

I nodded and we both walked slowly through the gates and the green gardens until we arrived at the main door.

Once we entered, I froze at the door once my eyes examined the living room in front of me.

"What's wrong?" I asked, my heart already beating fast inside my chest. I knew something was going on. Heidi and Anna were hugged, crying on the corner of the living room and the rest of the guys were in the middle of the living room, surrounding something on the floor. I moved through them and my heart skipped a beat once my eyes found my Chazzy on the floor, red eyes and foam on his mouth.

I ran to his side, kneeling to check on the poor creature. He was twisting in severe pain, but the image I'll never forget was his teary eyes locked on me as if he was pleading for help.

Beside him was a piece of meat that I knew I didn't belong there. I took it and smelled it, feeling immediately the intense smell of venom on it. Someone poisoned my dog and I knew exactly who the responsible was.

"Mike, go get a glass of cold water. Chester, get me coal from the balcony, from the bag that's near the barbecue. Smash it until it's dusty and mix it in the water. NOW!"

They ran the faster they could, getting what I asked for. It seemed like Chazzy was poisoned maybe a few hours ago, it was probably too late to save him, but at least I had to try. So as soon as they handed me the mix, I forced it down the dog's throat. This compound prevents full absorption of the toxic agent by the body, but only works if applied soon after the incident, which was why I was not convinced it would work. People usually think that the best way to act is to induce vomiting, but it is only worse. The reflux of the poison can cause even more damage to the throat.

"Mike, get the car, now. We need to take Chazzy to the clinic."

At first, it seemed like the pain was somehow eased; Chazzy stopped foaming and he didn't whimper as much. But once we arrived at the clinic, the poor dog started shaking violently, as if it was suffering some kind of attack.

Running to the inside of the clinic, I turned all the lights on, rushed to my office, set it on the table and got all my tools ready, along with the medications and the machines to clean its stomach. Part of me knew it was too late, but the other part didn't want to give up yet. So I asked everyone to leave the room so I could work alone and think straight.

Chester was the only one who didn't leave. He also didn't say a word. He was too scared and shocked to even try.

"Open his mouth, Chester," I asked trying to talk in a strong voice to conceal my panic, but he didn't move. "Chester," I sniffled and my voice broke a little. "I need your help now, please."

He did as commanded and helped through all the process, and before we knew it, I was done and the dog was sedated, resting on the cushioned bed with a blanket on top. When I finally stopped and watched my beloved pet sleeping after that much pain, I finally burst out in tears, burying my face on my hands.

Chester's arms embraced me from behind, pulling me closer to his comforting hug. He didn't say a word; no one else said a word. They all knew what happened, they all knew that Tabitha somehow entered our home to poison our dog. But that didn't matter at that moment. What really mattered was to save the sweet creature that made our days happier; that always greeted us with its wagging tail even if we had a shitty day; that was always there with us even if no one's paying attention to it.

My eyes were locked in the monitor that was monitoring Chazzy's vital signals. I knew that if they got worse, I would have to take it down. It would be better than watching it suffer in pain until the end. I prayed for that moment never to come, but let's face it: I've been a veterinary for years. I've seen everything. And I knew from experience how these cases usually end.

And as much as I prayed for a miracle, that moment came. Once the heartbeat started to be quicker, and the machine started beeping, I closed my eyes to allow the tears clouding my vision to fall on the floor. I put my hands in my pockets and took the needle that I previously prepared for that moment. With a deep breath, I approached Chazzy and kissed his face for a moment, stroking its light-brown fur very gently.

The rest of the guys silently entered the office, exchanging a sad look with Chester. The silence was too informative. They knew what was about to happen. But no one said a word.

Sniffling, I took a deep breath, grabbed the tube that injected saline solution and medication to Chazzy's veins and inserted the needle. While I pushed the liquid until the last drop I couldn't help but cry louder than before. That was undoubtedly the hardest thing I had to do in my entire life but at the same time the most bravely.


	22. Chapter 22

After calling the cops, and analyzing the security cameras' footages, they confirmed it: Tabitha was responsible for this atrocious act.  _As if anyone needed any proof._  

I didn't care about anything else after losing a pure and friendly creature like Chazzy. We all went home in silence. I leaned my head against the dark tinted window of Mike's Ranger Rover and cried quietly. Chester's hand was resting on my knee, as if a reminder that he was there for me, but no one dared to talk to me.

I even ignored the police and locked myself inside the bathroom to take a shower and wash off the stink of sorrow, sadness, and death. All I wanted to do was to close my eyes and sleep for days. That was all that I needed.

But I knew sleeping wasn't going to happen. I tried. And when I felt Chester getting inside our sheets and pulling me to his arms, I thought I was going to do it. But I was wrong.

Hours after, Chester was already peacefully sleeping and I was staring at the dark ceiling. 

I wasn't crying anymore though. I think I cried everything I had inside of me. And I knew I wasn't crying only because of Chazzy. No. I started thinking about my life. And how it got better and worse at the same time since I moved to New York. I was with the love of my life by my side, and yet, I wasn't happy. And he wasn't happy.

As if I was being controlled by an unseen force, I slowly got up from the bed, carefully walking out of the room with no intentions to wake up Chester. I took my cellphone with me and called my mother. She and dad insisted on staying in the hotel for the wedding, even though I asked them to stay in our mansion. I told her everything that happened after the non-wedding. She is like a psychiatrist to me, and talking to her about these kinds of stuff makes me feel much lighter. And also, whenever I need advice, hers are never wrong. Never.

But this time, I doubt her though. I doubt her advice because it would mean I would have to change everything in my life again. And I didn't know if I was prepared for that. 

So, obviously, that conversation left me even more confused and anguished, without knowing what to do with my life.

And after hanging up, I sat on my favorite window and watched the city slowly getting away from darkness, back to a sunny morning.

My mind though was away from the view. I looked over the horizon, lost in my own line of thoughts. Maybe my mother was right. Maybe I should change something in my life and end this pain for good. Or maybe I just need a vacation far away. By myself.

***

Chester groaned as soon as he felt the emptiness on the side of the bed where I should be. He guessed I didn't even sleep a bit that night, so he decided to look for me. He got up from the bed and immediately saw an envelope on his desk with his name written on it. He recognized my letter and his heart started beating faster inside his chest, fearing what the content might be.

With his hands shaking, Chester opened the letter and had to sit on the edge of the bed for support. Only by reading the first lines, he understood what was written and he felt like the floor was stolen from his feet.

_Hi, Chester._

_When you wake up, probably I won't be home anymore. I hope. Otherwise, this letter would be really awkward._

_I couldn't sleep at night. Not at all. And I've battled with myself over this whole situation._

_When I decided to come with you to New York, it was the best decision I've ever made. I don't regret anything. I swear._

_I knew it was going to be hard, I mean, you're you. Your life is amazing and filled with adventures. And for a couple of months, it was actually like a fairytale. And I loved every moment I spent with you. But as you know, it was a big change for me. I turned my life upside down. Which was fine at first, but when that woman came back to our life, she made it into a living hell. I felt unsafe, even when everyone was around; I felt watched, even when I was home alone. And then she decided to spoil our wedding day! The day that was supposed to be the happiest of our lives. She ruined it in front of our family and friends, who traveled across the ocean just for us. And I could live with that just fine. I don't care. As long as I'm with you. But now, she actually became dangerous! A person who poisons and kills an innocent creature as Chazzy, and stays on the loose, it's a dangerous person! I feared that if I stayed here with you, someone else would be in danger. Especially you._

_I can't do that to the people I love._

_So I decided to go back to Portugal with my parents. Back to my world where the only thing I need to worry about is what to wear the next day._

_It's selfish, I know. But while Tabitha is free, I can't be here. I can't be with any of you. Because if she's capable of hurting a dog, she's more than capable of hurting any of you._

_Please respect this decision. It's not that I don't love you. On the contrary, I'm doing this because I love you too much to see you get hurt. She needs to be locked away for good. Otherwise, your life will be miserable, like it already is. If that doesn't happen, I don't know if I will ever come back to New York. I hope you understand this._

_All I want is for you to be happy, Chester. I want you to go after your dreams, don't give up on them, nor on your life. Please, promise me that._

_And I'll always be here for you. You are the love of my life, and you'll always be._

_Please don't be mad with me. I had to do this. For all of you. And for me._

_I love you._

_Catarina._

By the end of the letter, Chester could barely see through all the tears. He was sobbing uncontrollably, trembling like he never did before and there was a twist in his stomach that made him want to vomit.

He held the letter tight against his chest and closed his eyes as he felt the sharp pain in his heart. The pain that reminds you that you lost something precious to you. The pain that follows you during your day and makes you sleepless at night.

Chester let his body fall on the bed, crying and sobbing. That was all he was able to do that moment.

***

"Where the hell are them?" Rob asked, sitting on the kitchen table. Lunch was ready, Heidi decided to cook something good to cheer everyone up.

"Maybe they're still sleeping," David said, attacking the food. This earned him a slap on the hand from Heidi. She's always so harsh with the meals' time and only allowed people to touch the food when everyone was there.

"I'll go check on them." Mike stood and walked to our bedroom' door, knocking on it.

No one answered. He knocked again and again. And he heard nothing.

So he decided to open the door slowly. He peeked inside and immediately saw his best friend, in a fetal position, hugging himself, and shaking. Mike decided to enter the room and approach Chester, and once he saw the tears, an envelope lying on the floor, and the letter clutched against his chest, he instantly understood what happened.

Chester didn't even need to be asked anything. He muttered to Mike.

"She left, man. She left me."

He handed Mike the letter and allowed him to read it. Mike didn't need to read the letter to know why I left. He understood why I did it and he couldn't blame me. Traveling all across the ocean to be with someone, have the wedding day ruined with reporters and paparazzi, and by a drugged priest, and have her dog poisoned? Who would endure such a thing?

"Hey, Chester, listen. She's right." Chester stopped crying and furrowed his brows at his friend. "Tabitha became dangerous. She can't be on the loose. She belongs in jail. Cat is scared, Chester. It's normal. She drugged a priest and killed her dog! Imagine what she could do to any of us, or to her."

"I know. But I'll never let anyone hurt her." It sounded almost like a plea.

"She knows that. And she'll do the same. That's why she left. Dude, get yourself together! We need to take care of Tabitha first, and then we think about how to solve this thing with Cat."

Chester eyed his friend and slowly got up to a sitting position without saying a word.

"I'll help you. We'll all help you, Chester. You are not alone. You never were." Mike rested a hand on his best friend's shoulder as a way to show him how much he meant his words, and how much he was there for him. 

"Thank you," Chester whispered, trying to force a smile on his lips.

"Now, let's have lunch. We need to talk about this and plan how we're going to get Tabitha."

"I'm not hungry," Chester said, but Mike forced him to get up.

"Like I care."

***

After a long day of discussing and planning, they all came up with an idea that they prayed that it would work. It was something stupid and possibly even dangerous, but Chester didn't care. He would do it himself. All he wanted to do was to get rid of the troublesome woman that had ruined his life. He had enough from her a long time ago. He put up with her because of their history, they were childhood friends and she always supported him since the beginning of his career. For that, he put up with her shit and her mental disorientation. 

But he had enough. He didn't want to have anything to do with her anymore.

Before going to sleep, a more untroubled Chester sent me a message.

 _I want you to know that I don't judge you for going away._   _You, above anyone else, deserve to be safe and happy. I'm sorry about this mess, I really am. I hope your flight was good and that you're home safe and sound. All I ask you is to talk to me. Let me know if you're ok. That's all that matters to me._

_I love you forever._

As soon as he sent the message he received another from an unknown number. Previously that evening, Chester and his friends decided to try to lure Tabitha to a meeting with Chester. They felt stupid after that because she didn't reply to them or anything. Chester wrote her a message where he asked her to meet him.

_Hi, Tabitha. Look, I'm going straight to the point. My life is a mess right now. I don't know if you heard of everything that happened yesterday and today, but my life it' s completely upside down. I feel lost. I feel like my friends can't even understand how bad I am right now. I need to talk to someone who can understand what it's like to feel hopeless and in complete darkness. The only person that I could think about is you. I don't know why. Could you meet me tomorrow night? Someplace quiet. Maybe by the 79th street boat basin at 9 p.m. You don't need to answer my message. I'll be there waiting for you. Please go, I'm afraid of myself. I don't know what I'll do._

And now, an unknown number answered his message, but he knew it was her. She told him she'll be there for him like she's always have been since they were just little kids. Chester jumped out of bed and ran to the living room where his friends were still gathering.

"Dude, that's fucking awesome! We need to talk to the police now!" Rob jumped on the couch and searched for the phone number of the agent responsible for the case.

Mike was reading the text message with a devilish smirk on his lips, but his smile faded away when a message from me appeared on the screen. So he handed the phone back to Chester and saw a smile appear on his best friend's face as he read the message.


	23. Chapter 23

Long flights are the worst! 

As if the constant pain in my chest that reminds me of the crap that my life had become in the last few days wasn't enough, I also left the plane with a huge pain in my back and a headache. My parents tried to distract me from those thoughts, telling me about their adventures since I moved away and they were alone at home, but they knew it was in vain. All I could think about was Chester and if getting away was the best thing to do.

I never thought I would miss my home as I did. But I only realized that when I entered my bedroom, my refuge for years.

It was as if I never left. Everything was the same. Even the smell of red fruits that I love so much. Even the mattress with a flowery pattern and the pink and blue pillows carefully placed to look good in the bed.

On the mirror, there were several pictures of me and my dogs, me and my family, and Chester. I stood there admiring his genuine smile. He's just too perfect. Too beautiful. Too pure. I never met anyone like him before, and I felt so blessed for the opportunity of meeting him, of loving him and of being loved back. And that smile... That beautiful smile that warmed my heart... It made me cry and smile at the same time.

I've been away only for some hours, but I miss him already. More than anything.

But I had to be strong for now.

So I changed my clothes and went for a run with my dogs. I missed them too, as I missed my cat and my birds. I wanted to take them with me, but considering the situation, I'm glad I didn't. I couldn't bear to get home and find them all poisoned. The thought of it made me gulp and shiver.

_It was for the best._

*******

After taking a long shower and having lunch with my parents I decided to take a nap. Hopefully, I would be able to sleep, since I haven't had any last night, nor during the flight.

Luckily, I was able to sleep the whole afternoon until dinner time. But as much as it felt good, I felt like I needed to sleep two days in a row. When I opened my eyes, I looked at my phone that was charging on the bedside table and saw the blue intermittent notification light. 

I stretched my body and rubbed my eyes before taking the phone off the USB cable and see what was that notification about. And my heart started beating faster once I read "Chester" on the message ID.

Taking a deep breath, I opened it and smiled immediately. He wasn't mad with me. He understood why I had to leave, and that was more than enough to ease the pain inside my chest. For a moment I just stared at the phone, reading his words over and over again.

I wasn't sure if I should answer. Or wasn't sure of what to answer.

But I did it anyway.

_I'm home, safe and sound. I missed my land, my family and friends, and my pets. It's more peaceful here, I'm sure you remember how it feels like :) But even though this is where I belong, I miss you already. I'm sorry for leaving without saying goodbye, but it would be harder and you wouldn't let me go. And you know I had to leave._

_I love you, Chester. From the bottom of my heart, I love you so much._

After a while, I just stared at the white ceiling of my bedroom, laying on the bed with millions of thoughts racing in my head, and all of them were about Chester. I was only snapped back to the world when my mother knocked on the door and asked me to go down to have dinner.

Of course, dinner was awkward. My mind was away, and my parents often had to call me more than once to wake me up from a trance. Once I was finished, I excused myself and tried to get some sleep. Obviously, I didn't have a wink of sleep, so I decided to read a book until I was tired enough.

It was 4 in the morning when Chester replied to my message, leaving me with a lump in my throat and completely uneased.

_I'm glad to hear from you. Even far away you manage to put a smile on my face. I must tell you that I won't give up on you, nor on us. I'll take care of Tabitha's problem tomorrow. We set her a trap. I only hope it goes as planned. But I want you to know that I love you and no matter what happens tomorrow, you did the right thing going back. You're right, she's dangerous and I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you. I'm sorry that this had come this far. I just want you to be happy, but never forget that I love you, truly._

Something inside of my heart made me worry about this text message. It felt like he was about to do something stupid and was making sure I knew how much he loves me in case something bad happens. 

The last time he decided to do something stupid I almost lost him. I couldn't let anything bad happen to him, especially because of me. I tried to make him tell me what was going to happen, but he didn't tell me anything, and when I tried to call him, he didn't answer.

I tried to get some sleep, even though I was worried about Chester. I managed to sleep for a couple of hours, but as soon as I woke up I decided to call Mike instead of trying to talk to Chester. Mike picked up almost immediately.

"Look, you know we'd never let anything happen to Chester. You don't need to worry about anything." He tried to calm me down, but he knew that wouldn't happen.

"Well, at least now I have the confirmation that you're all up to something. Please, tell me he's not going to put himself in danger." I pleaded, feeling tears burning behind my eyes.

"Cat, you know he's not going to give up on you, don't you?" He tried to get away from the question, so I knew I wasn't going to get lucky.

I just sighed. "I know". I bit my lower lip to fight the urge to cry. "Take care of him for me, Mike."

"Always."

***

Chester was locked inside his room all day, preparing for the trap he'd set. The police were already aware of the meeting, so he had nothing to worry about. But, yet, he was apprehensive. After finishing this chapter of his life, locking Tabitha away, what else was there to tear us apart?  _Nothing, right?_ He tried to convince himself that Tabitha was the answer to get me back, but he knew it wasn't just that he needed to do.

As he was getting ready for his "date", he looked himself in the mirror and almost didn't recognize himself. Chester from years ago was thinner, paler, with dark circles under his eyes. When he met me, everything started to change: meeting me changed him completely. Not only inside, but also outside. He was more handsome; he worked out more often and built more muscles; he let his hair grow a little; his eyes glowed with love; and, for the first time in his life, he was willing to fight for something he truly wanted, something he truly desired (and not just survive as he used to). And that moment, when he looked himself in the mirror, he stared deeply to his own eyes and saw nothing. He was simply not there anymore. 

He was empty.

All of that just because of one person that wasn't there with him. The most important person in his life.  _No_.  _This won't happen again_. He said to himself. Chester knew how wonderful his life was when he was with me. He would never let the world ruining his life again. He was going to fight for the love of his life. 

He has to. What else would matter the most?

"Are you ready, Chester?" Mike knocked on the door and opened it immediately.

"Yeah, yeah," Chester answered, but didn't take his off the mirror's image.

"It's going to be alright, man. Soon, Tabitha will be behind bars and we'll solve your problem with Cat." He patted his best friend's back.

"I hope you're right, I don't know what to do if you're not."

"Come on, about that now. Let's finish this once and for all."

Chester got out of the house and drove alone minutes after his friends and the police set their places near the river. Some of them were on nearby parked cars, others were on the boats and the rest was dispersed randomly through the streets. And, as promised, Chester was on  _7_ 9th street boat basin at 9 p.m sharp. He took a deep breath, before sitting on a wooden bench and look all around him: there were no signs of Tabitha. There were people walking on the street at that time of night, obviously. He was in New York. But the night was oddly calm, without the usual rush.  _Good, just what I needed for the nerves_ , Chester thought to himself.

He was losing hope, after twenty minutes of waiting. But by the corner of his eye, he saw the curly-haired brunette walking quickly, looking over her shoulder. She was a beautiful woman, indeed. In times, she would take care of herself, her skin, her hair, and would always have makeup on to enhance her beauty. Her body looked like it was carved meticulously. But now, she was a mess, like a mad woman. Her clothes were large, ripped, and smelly; her hair looked like it hasn't been combed for years, tangled and undone; her face was pale, with dark circles; and she walked almost as if she was dragging her legs.

Chester stood up as soon as he saw her. She could be a lunatic, but he was still a gentleman.

"Hi." She said shyly, looking around her.

"Hi. What's wrong? Are you expecting someone?" Chester said with a fake smile on his lips. He gestured her to sit down by his side, and she smiled, obeying.

"I can't shake the feeling someone's watching me."

Chester wanted to tell her  _you're paranoid_ , but he thought twice. Instead, he sighed and leaned against the bench, looking over the river.

"I'll never grow tired of this view." He said, but she ignored his contemplation. She stared at him, with her doited look.

"Why am I here, Chester? What's wrong?"

He wanted so badly to punch her in a face. Hearing a fake innocence in her voice really grinds his gears.

"You know about my failed wedding, right?" She nodded. "Someone drugged our priest and called the media. It ruined it completely. The wedding was off, probably, will never be rescheduled again. And when I got home, I discovered that someone poisoned our dog."

Tabitha gasped and covered her mouth. Chester had to control himself not to kick her.

"That's awful! Where's your fiancé?"

"Well, I don't think she's my fiancé anymore, after everything that happened. She went back to Portugal." She gasped again.  _Bitch_. He had to bite his lower lip in order to say the next words. "Ah, it's for the best. We were never meant to each other. We're from different worlds." 

"I never wanted to tell you this, because your happiness means so much to me, but I always thought exactly like that." She sounded like she was getting hopeful.

"You've always been a great friend," Chester said those words but wanted to vomit immediately. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed."

"It's ok." She grabbed his arm and pulled her body close to his, to lean her head against his shoulder. "You're here, that's what matters. I'm really, really sorry for what happened to you. And to your dog."

"Yeah... If I find out who did that to that poor creature, help me, God. Who would have done such a thing?" She made a  _hmm_ sound. "It must have been a terrible person."

She moved uncomfortably in the bench.

"Do you have any idea who it might have been?"

"Oh yeah, we have. There's also the fact that the priest remembers who drugged him, and also there are the security cameras of our mansion showing you sneaking to our house by the time our dog was murdered."

She gasped and got up from the bench, preparing to run, but Chester predicted she might do something like that and grabbed her arm.

"You're a despicable person. You'll rot in jail and I never want to see you again."

"Let go of me!" She screamed. "HELP!"

Chester pulled her against him and shook her pretty hard.

"Why, Tabitha, why? Couldn't you let me be happy? Why did you murder the dog? And drugged the priest? Why do you want to destroy my life and make me miserable? WHY???"

"Because I love you!!!" She yelled.

"So it was you." He tried to make her confess in her own words.

"Yes! It was me. And if you still stayed with that bitch I would poison her too."

Chester had to control himself not to beat her. He wanted so badly to throw her to the floor and kick her until there was no more strength in his body. He wanted to hurt her as much as she hurt him, me, and Chazzy. And she saw it in his eyes: that darker side of Chester that no one was aware it existed; not even Chester.

"You heard her confession," Chester said to the mic he had hidden on his shirt. "Take her away from me, before I make something I'll regret later."

As soon as he said those words, lots of agents showed up to grab Tabitha, announcing she was going to be arrested for stalking, dangerous behavior, drug use, and violence and murderer of an animal. She tried to fight and be released from their grip, screaming like a crazy person you only see in movies.

The rest of the band joined Chester, to give him their support, and to take him home. The only thing that occurred Chester's mind was me. He wanted to tell me so badly about Tabitha being arrested but he also wanted to wait until she is accused and judged. He wanted to make sure she was locked away for good.

Nonetheless, as he watched the police cars taking Tabitha to the precinct, his mind drifted away to Portugal, wondering if I was having a good night of sleep.


	24. Chapter 24

After getting Tabitha arrested, Chester helped the lawyers getting all the pieces of evidence they needed to lock her away. And at the same time, he conceived a plan to get me back. Part of him knew precisely what to do, the other part was terrified of his bandmates' reaction.

It was killing him inside, and he wanted so badly to talk about it with his friends. But with Tabitha's trial going on, he put that aside and focused on the case.

Mike knew there was something upsetting his friend. Something other than Tabitha's case. It seemed like he wanted to talk with someone but, for some reason, he wasn't able to do so. He knew Chester too well to knew the reason for his uneasiness. And since Chester stopped talking about ways to get me back after Tabitha's trial is finished, he knew it must be something about that. So he decided to talk with the rest of the band and force Chester to talk about it.

They all entered his bedroom, finding him on the balcony, watching the view oblivious of the audience behind him.

"Chester!" Mike greeted.

"Fuck!" Chester jumped back startled. "You scared the shit out of me! Can't you knock?"

"We did knock," Rob answered and that's when Chester acknowledged the rest of his friends was in his bedroom, along with their lovely wives. They all looked intrigued like they were plotting something, and Chester raised a brow at them, signaling them to talk whatever they were there to talk about.

"Chester, you know we're here for you, right? No matter what your decision is. We'll always be here." David stated.

"I know..." Chester answered, not understanding exactly what was the point of that conversation.

"So, we know you want to get Cat back. And we totally support you. No matter what the conditions are." It was Mike's turn to talk. He paused for a while to let Chester assimilate his words. "What have you been thinking about? Talk to us."

Chester turned his back to his friends and diverted his gaze back to the river, scanning the beautiful view in front of him. Suddenly, a memory took over him. 

_Chester had just returned from his tour. I missed him so badly. And after making love with him for hours, we fell asleep in each other arms. For those who wonder if God and the Devil, Heaven, and Hell truly exist, I know the answer. It does. Chester's arms around me were like two angel's wings embracing me in a warm and safe world. If that's not heaven I don't know what it is._

_But for some reason, I woke up in the middle of the night. The sun was starting to illuminate the sky on the horizon, but there was still stars and darkness in the sky._

_The balcony door was left opened and the autumn breeze was starting to get colder. So I wrapped the sheet around me and decided to close the window. But as soon as I got there, the view was too wondrous to go back to sleep. So I leaned against the balcony and stared at the view for some time. Time enough for Chester to wake up and feel the bed empty. Once his eyes opened he saw me on the balcony, lost in my own thoughts. He took a mental picture to himself, to remind later, and he walked slowly to my side._

_"It's chilling out here, baby. Come back to bed." Chester whispered as he planted kisses on my shoulders._

_"I'll go back in a minute," I said, contemplating that beautiful view while Chester's kisses were rousing something else inside of me._

_"What's on your mind? What's keeping you out of the bed, away from me?" He deepened the kisses on my neck and started bitting my skin very mildly._

_"Nothing can keep me away from you." I gasped as all my senses were tingling, making me aroused._

_"I wouldn't let anything keep you away from me." He whispered._

_"Promise?"_

_"Promise," Chester whispered before unwrapping the sheet covering my body, letting it fall on the floor, and devoured my lips with his passionate kisses._

Before he knew it, Chester was sharing with his friends his idea about slowing down his career. He wanted to take a break, to think about what to do with his life. But he wanted to do it in Portugal. Not just because of me. But also because of himself. He never felt home as he felt in my country: away from the spotlight; away from the madness; a place where he could be himself.

He didn't want to give up on music. No. He wanted to write and sing, and make albums. But he wants to take care of his life, to make sure he still has a life - an identity.

"I'm sorry, guys. But I've been thinking about this lately. It has been on my mind for months, but I never really had the courage to say it out loud." He was afraid that his friends became mad with him; he was afraid to be left behind. But he should have known better.

"Well, I think it's time for us to focus on solo works. I think all of us have been thinking about it. At least, I have." Mike admitted. "It's not that I want us to "break-up". I think we need to discover new things; new ideas; new melodies. And each of us could bring a piece of that to a new Linkin Park era."

For a while, everyone stayed quiet, thinking about that idea.

"It's just a thought..." Chester whispered, looking down to the floor. "This way I could take care of myself, take my life back... make Cat come back to me. I would settle down for a while, set a new recording studio on Portugal and work from there. I mean... I could try... And we already have a house there. Just next door to hers."

"You know what?" Rob started to talk. At first, Chester thought he was about to yell, but then he surprised him: he hugged him. "I'm proud of you, man. And I totally support you. You can do this. We can do this. Your happiness is more important, or it should be. So, you have my support."

One by one, Linkin Park's members joined the hug, with their hearts heavy in their chests, but a smile on their lips.

"And what's your idea to get back at her?" Hanna interrupted the group hug and Chester started smirking as he explained everything he was planning to do. And as he finished speaking, another group hug was forming, and Chester could swear he saw tears on his friend's eyes.

***

I took a quick shower after doing my morning run. It was Saturday, and I was not in the mood to even brush my hair. So I decided to dress something casual and comfortable after the shower and relax in my bedroom for the rest of the day. Or at least, try.

Chester didn't text me since the day before. He sent me a message in the morning, but ever since he seemed like he vanished. I texted him twice, but since he didn't answer me, I decided not to insist. It was killing me inside, not having news from him for more than a day. But hey, I was the one who decided to run away, right?  _Well, now suck it in!_

I looked myself in the mirror, scanning my miserable figure: dark circles under my eyes; clearly thinner; no signs of happiness in my eyes. 

 _Back to the old me,_  I told myself sarcastically.

I sat on the window, a book in one hand, and an orange juice in the other. I tried my best to keep my mind off things, but that silence was tormenting me. I prayed the Gods for something to change my mood, for something to cease that pain in my chest. But I lost hope after weeks of emptiness, solitude, and sorrow. I brought this on myself, _I know_ , but if this means Chester is safe, I guess I would have to endure it until the end of my days.

My phone stopped that appalling feeling. I was cursing myself with all the strength that I had until I discerned who was calling me.

"Hello..." I said with a voice weaker than I expected.

On the other side of the line, Chester was calm but his voice was stern, sounding as if he was determined.

"Hello, Cat. First of all, how you doing? ... Really?"

"I... I'm handling..." I took a deep breath and decided to be honest. "I miss you all the time."

I could hear the air going out of his nose when he smiles, and my heart skipped a beat. My head immediately produced images of his shiny eyes and his gorgeous smile. Seriously? How could a man be so perfect in every way possible? How could God do such a flawless creature? 

"I miss you too. So, so much, baby..." He sighed. "I miss everything about you... The smell of your shampoo; your red fruits lotions; your hair tickling my nose when we're lying on the bed; your beautiful brown eyes that reveal how much you love me; I miss the way I make you whisper my name when I'm making love to you." He paused for a moment and talked in a playful way, making me grin. "Gosh, I love making love to you."

"Please, don't make me think about that or I might explode," I admitted and he chuckled.

"Hold that thought for later. I have something else to tell you about." Then he told me everything that happened with Tabitha; about the trap he had set and the meeting with her. My heart started pounding inside my chest, threatening to escape through my throat. But then he also told me that she was condemned and locked away for a long time.

I took my time to process what he just told me. That means that I was safe from her. And Chester. And everyone we love.

"What you did was stupid, Chester. She's dangerous and she could have hurt you."

"I know. But I had to do it. I had to finish this, love. I wanted you to be safe." He said with his humble voice that I love so much. When he talks like that, I can never argue. And he knows it very well.  _Fucker._

"Nevertheless, you are a hero, Chester." He muffled a laugh but then became serious.

"I'm really sorry for everything that you've been through because of her... Because of me. I'm so sorry for Chazzy. For our failed wedding. And for the life you were living in New York. I know you tried, but I know you weren't truly happy. Portugal is your home, I see that now. Especially after everything bad that happened to us."

"Chester, I don't regret any of it. No, it wasn't my country and I was trying really hard to be happy. And at first, I was. But Tabitha and everything bad that happened there was just too much. I'm sorry for leaving, but I had to do it."

"I know baby..." He whispered.

"I want you to be happy, Chester. I really do. Promise me you will take care of yourself and your life, and never jeopardize your happiness."

"Thank you for your advice. I will. I have to go now. We'll talk later."

And before I could answer he hung up, leaving me speechless with my phone pressed against my ears. It felt awful. It felt like withdrawal. Like I was addicted to a drug that I no longer consume but then I start feeling its smell, its taste in my mouth, and someone snaps it away from me. It felt like I was finally feeling my cold heart melting after weeks of pain and sadness, but then I was put back in a colder freezer.

I had no reaction. My mind was vociferous and I couldn't focus on one thought. Would he continue his life, away from me? For a second there was a tightness in my heart when I thought about him moving on, and seeing pictures of him with other women on the magazines. How would I handle it? But then something else scared me the most. What if that was a goodbye call and he was about to do something stupid? I know he promised me he would never do it, but  _what if_?

It felt like an eternity since he hung up. I remained sitting on the edge of my bed, speechless and with no capabilities beside breathing uneven.

For a second I thought about scheduling a flight back to New York, back to his arms. I think I just needed time to heal and everything would be alright again. I could be wrong, sure, but at least I would try.

Determined to do just that, I picked up my phone from the bed, with the intention of calling him back. But as soon as I unlocked it, there was a text message from Chester.

_Today, at 6 P.M., there will be a car waiting for you outside of your house. A black Volkswagen Polo, with tinted windows. Get in. No questions. If your wish is for me to find happiness, get in the car._

_PS. Please wear that lovely red dress of yours._

I bit my lower lip and let my back fall on the bed, staring at the ceiling. 

That message was odd, but at least it settled the turmoil in my heart that was making me worry about Chester's safety. Instead, the message made me intrigued. 

_What the hell was he planning?_


	25. Chapter 25

I turned my head around and watched the minutes pass in the alarm clock on the bedside table. The intense red light of the numbers was hypnotizing; the two intermittent points that separated hours from minutes was too distractful. My head was clear, no thoughts, no nothing. It was just me laying in bed, slowing down my racing heart and relaxing for a couple of minutes.

Without thinking twice, and probably after a long period of time staring at the time, I jumped out of bed and opened my closet. I searched for the red dress and stared at it too. I was doing that a lot: staring at stuff with an empty head.

I smiled at the dress - it reminded me of the first party in the neighbor's house. When I talked to Chester for hours; when I beat the crap out of him in the PlayStation. Then I remembered when Mike told me Chester loved the red dress when we were not talking. My heart skipped a beat when the next memories haunted my mind: Chester trying to kill himself; and making love to him for the first time after that.

Then I remembered the feeling of not having in my life; the fear of losing him forever. The moment I saw him hanging himself made me understand how we were meant for each other.  _How could I ever forget that?_

A sudden feeling of loss came over me.

"Not anymore," I said to myself in the mirror, as I placed the dress in front of my body and watched how well it fit me.

That moment, I decided that was the last time I ran away from love. That's why I was outside waiting for the black car that Chester sent. As he ordered:  _no questions_  were asked. I just got in and the driver started the car.

My heart skipped another beat once I saw the direction of the driver. The Sanctuary of Sameiro was more beautiful than ever. Spring season was the most stunning of all seasons in there. The colorful gardens were filled with beautiful flowers of all kinds; The trees were filled with the greenest leaves; the birds were flying around, chirping and taking food to their nests.

"We're here." The driver stopped in the parking lot and asked me to get out. "Go to the main doors, my lady."

"Thank you."

I walked out of the car and walked slowly to the front of the church. The famous Portuguese sidewalk stones create a beautiful pattern on the floor, allowing the designers to draw different types of images, or just record words through the sidewalk.

I tried to focus very hard because all I needed was one distraction and I could fall to the ground. It's hard to walk on heels on these type of sidewalks, but it is not impossible. The problem is that I'm not much of a high heels woman. I'm more like a Comverse type of girl.

The sanctuary was oddly clear of tourists. Some days more than the others, the place is visited by thousands of people from all around the world, taking pictures, praying or just climbing to the dome. I did it myself a couple of times: climb the stairs and relax for hours with the amazing view over the city and the mountains of Gerês Park.

       

And if you're lucky, you can even see the ocean in the horizon, hidden just between the mountains where only people with good eyesight can perceive what that dark blue line is.

I remembered the first time I brought Chester here. My meditation place.

And the second time, I took him to the dome. And he was amazed. Quiet. Pensive. But he was amazed. I just rested my head on his shoulder and stared at the astounding view. It was all too overwhelming: our new relationship (even if just friendly at that moment); the walls that I've been building over the years being shaken up for the first time; that relaxing view; and his perfume.  _Oh God, his perfume_.

Smiling at the memories, I walked to the location the driver asked me to go. But that smile faded away once I turned around the corner and found my family and friends there, waiting for me, along with the members of Linkin Park and their respective wives and girlfriends.

They were all smiling at me, but I had the most confused expression plastered on my face.

"What is all this?" I asked, gulping once the crowd in front of me cleared the way to a charming Chester. He was wearing a black suit, white shirt, but no tie. His hair was longer, he didn't cut it as he told me he would.

He slowly approached me, with his shiny brown eyes and his nervous smile.

"Hi, Cat."

I fought the urge to run to his arms, to hold him against me. Instead, I stood in my place, frozen and not being able to speak at all. Chester smiled warmly and approached me even more.

"You know how lost I was when I met you. You have seen it with your own eyes. You felt it in your heart. And even if you don't admit it, you know you are the reason why I'm here." I looked down, not only too embarrassed with his words but also because they brought back some painful memories. "But you didn't only save me. You found yourself too. We are meant to be together..." He took a step closer. "I love you more than anything. You love me. Baby, we are great together."

I smiled and nodded at his words. I was trying too hard to conceal the tears burning behind my eyes, but I failed.

"I'm at a point in my life where I can do whatever I please. I can go on stage every night, I can quit my career and find something else to do. I can do whatever I want and I don't care about any of that, of what decision I make. As long as I'm with you, I don't care how my life is. I'm willing to abdicate everything not only for you but for myself. I deserve this. I deserve to be happy. We deserve to be happy."

Then, he took my hands in his and kissed my knuckles. The touch of his lips on my skin made me shiver. I missed him. I missed his touch; I missed his sparkling brown eyes; his shy smile and his flustered cheeks. It's not fair how much a single man can mess with your mind like that. It is not.

He looked me in the eyes and I could sense his anxiety, his hesitation. But after a deep breath, he closed his eyes, looked at me again and spoke.

"Will you marry me?" He looked around him and back to me. "Like, now?"

I gasped. I have no idea how I didn't faint that moment. You would think my mind would be busy with messed up thoughts. You're wrong. There was nothing else to think about, only that moment to live.

"I will never give you up. No matter how hard you try to run away from me. I won't leave you, because you deserve happiness and I'm willing to make you the happiest woman in the world."

Still not receiving an answer from me, nor a reaction, he planted the softest kiss on my lips just enough to snap me out of my trance.

"The past and the future merge to meet us here. This is it. Take it or leave it, baby."

With tears finally running down my face uncontrollably, I pulled him to me, crushing my lips against his. At first, he was surprised with my gesture, but he needed no words, he knew exactly what my answer was. His arms pulled me closed by my waist; my arms pulled him closer by his neck; and we gave in to the love that was more powerful than any obstacle that we came across.

Pulling away from the kiss, I looked at the man in front of me. His eyes were still closed, feeling the sensation of having my lips against his, my tongue brushing his. He took his time to take that in before opening the teary eyes.

"Let's do this," I said.

He pulled away, cleaned his tears away, and offered his arm, guiding me to the church's main door. I took a deep breath as all of us started walking inside the church, where a priest was already waiting for us in the aisle.

And as the ceremony started, I looked around to the people gathered there to celebrate our love and all I could do was smile, as tears strolled down my cheeks. 

Chester couldn't take his eyes off of me. He wanted to make sure he wasn't dreaming. He wanted to make sure I was really there with him. And he realized that I was finally his when he heard the words he has been dying to hear:

 

_"I pronounce you husband and wife."_

 

**THE END.**


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